Set Fire to the Rain

“Hello” Jack answered on the first ring of the phone.

“Good morning sunshine” I joked with him. “How are things with you? Are you on duty today?” Secretly praying that he would say yes and feeling extremely guilty for it.

“I’m doing well actually, and no I have today off for a change. I got your text really late last night, what was it, about 3am this guy decided to bring you home, Laun?” Between the slight accusatory and questioning tone in his voice like he was our father scolding me for doing something I shouldn’t have, and then he called Laun, a portion of my middle name Launa (the nickname he gave me that no one else was ever allowed to call me, but him), it all just pissed me off for some reason.

“Are you really going to give me a lecture on curfew Jack? I explained everything there was to know in the text I sent you last night, and quite honestly, I’m 41 years old, and I shouldn’t have to explain anything to anyone!” I said to him in a raised voice, not yelling at him, but definitely not my normal tone either. Sorry but I am pissed. “You know, I was calling to talk to you about something, but I am beginning to re-think that decision.”

There was complete silence for about 20 seconds, before I heard a deep intake of breath and an exhale. “You’re right Eliza. You are absolutely right. I am sorry for what I said, and I don’t expect your forgiveness because I was acting just as badly as David used to, and sad thing is I didn’t even realize it.” He felt awful, I could hear the sincerity over the phone.

“You could never, ever, be as bad as him. Don’t put yourself in the same category as that…Just don’t ok? I know you were worried about me, and only looking out for me, all of you are worried. Shit, I am worried about me.” I said with a small laugh. “Last night was incredible though, Jack. Shann was a total gentleman the entire evening, and I had the time of my life. Really.”

I sat for a minute listening to silence again, and looked to my left where Jakey was sitting with a now discarded music magazine in his lap, with his mouth slightly agape. The look on his face was priceless, he mouthed to me ‘Shann, what the fuck is up with calling him Shann’ quietly.

“Umm, sis, did you just call Shannon Leto ‘Shann’? Is there something I need to know sis?” A worried tone took over my brother’s voice.

Sitting there, with one very shocked young man next to me and the other on the phone, I had to think for a second. Oh my fucking hell! I had called Shannon Leto ‘Shann’! I had given him a fucking nickname! We weren’t even dating yet! How fucked up was that, seriously! I wanted to smack my head into a cinderblock wall desperately. The worst part about it was that I had not only done it with my family, I think I did it with Shannon too. Oh fuck! This is bad. I have major damage control to do and as soon as possible. Right now, I have to admit it to the boys. Or maybe I should just keep it all to myself. Yep, that’s probably best with these two. Ughhh.

“Apparently I did. So what! Big deal! It’s not like he heard it or anything! And so what if he had heard me say it, I don’t remember him complaining? Oh yeah, and to answer your other question Jack, NO there isn’t anything that you need to know about. So fuck off.” Oh shit, now the cats out of the bag.

“You really like him don’t you? Are you crazy Eliza! You hardly know the guy! What the hell are you doing, after everything you have been through, haven’t you and the kids been through enough! Fucking hell! When are you going to use your fucking brain! Talk about rushing into things!!” Jack screamed at me and continued to grumble about things that I was now ignoring.

“Really asshole, rush into things! I am not rushing into shit! Go fuck a duck and jump in front of the nearest truck asswipe! I expected a lot more faith from you Jack of all people. I was going to ask you over to meet Shannon today before he picks me up. Though maybe that’s not such a great idea considering you’re being a complete dick!” Holding onto the phone with a death grip I continued to scream at Jack. “I have an idea, maybe instead of coming here, you should go look up one of the hookers you have arrested over the years and get yourself laid by a professional, because you have been nothing but an arrogant know it all prick with a major tree up his ass for weeks! Stop taking it out on your family asshole!”

Jake sat there on the couch completely and totally dumbfounded. I had never said anything like that to Jack in front of anyone but Jack, let alone a teenage kid, but I’m not stupid and I know he’s heard far worse than that. The things that I had said, I couldn’t stop. My brother was in fact, being an ass, and I had started to stand up for myself when I walked away from David. If I’m being perfectly honest, it felt fucking great to let go!

“A hooker Laun? Really! Wait a minute! What the hell do you mean he’s coming to pick you up again today?”

“Good to know you are paying attention genius. Mr. Leto asked me to spend the day with him today because he is going home to LA in a few weeks, and wants to spend more time with me before he leaves. So if you think it might be in the realm of possibilities that you can manage to act like an adult instead of a 12 year old, you are more than welcome to come over and meet him before we leave. Shannon will be here at 3. So I suggest you be here by then if you want to meet him. Oh, and if you still want a sister by the end of the evening, I suggest you not treat him like a criminal” I snapped at him.

“Laun, I’m…” CLICK! I hung up on him. I just was not in the mood for excuses, apologies and other bullshit. I had heard enough to last a lifetime. Besides, I would see Jack later that much I was sure of.

“Holy crap, mom, did you just hang up on Uncle Jack, and suggest he get”

“Fuck yes I did. You will not repeat what was said here. Do we understand one another JT? Your Uncle was being an ass, and deserved it.” I smiled at my son in response.

“Good for you mom” Jake laughed.

“If you say anything to me about what I said to Shannon, so help me,”

“Nope, not me, not one word!” And he was up and jogging out of the room before I knew it laughing hysterically. I love my son.

Before I knew it I had talked to everyone including my parents, friends, and I’d even received a call from Craig. We talked for a while and did major catching up. He wanted me to come out to visit him in LA, but funds and time were always a factor. So I always invited him to visit us out on the East Coast. It never seemed to happen. After I spoke with Craig, I called Mags and filled her in on Shannon and she was thrilled. She seemed to be the only one around here who was excited about the whole thing, and it saddened me when I thought about it. We talked about how things were going with her and Evan and she filled me in on the status of their relationship of late. They had gone from a ‘friends’ only thing to a boyfriend/girlfriend status, and they were fucking happy. Mags said the time with him being in the city the past couple weeks had been great, and yes it was moving fast, but you need to live life to its fullest. Evan was going back home soon, and they were enjoying their time together now as much as possible. Maybe I understood that deep down more than I was willing to admit. All I really want is for my kids to be truly happy.

MJ’s advice to me was to just let go and have fun. Be safe and not do anything stupid, of course, but that I deserved to have a good time, and who better than to have fun with than a fucking rock god like Shannon Leto. In her scenario, he happens to have the hots for me with the bonus of the situation being no strings attached, all this coming from my 20 year old daughter, lord help me. I had to laugh at that, because I honestly don’t know where she came up with that one. The idea of having fun was a great one that I couldn’t get out of my head though. Then again, it was such a foreign idea to me I wouldn’t even know where to start. When I said that to MJ, she said, sometimes it’s ok to let the guy take control in a good way. Oh my fucking hell. What the hell am I doing talking to her about this? Then again, talking to Kym would be a million times worse, and let’s face it Scott and John would be a close second to Kym. So my daughter and I end up having some really great talks. I can always count on her to be completely honest with me and besides, she is really fucking cool. There aren’t many who can say they have the kind of relationship that we have, and it’s pretty damned special.

Our phone call was cut short when I looked at the time and realized that I had to get ready for my day with Shannon. At about 2 o’clock he had called to let me know he was on his way to get me. Imagine his enthusiasm when I told him that my brother, the cop, may possibly be stopping by to meet him before we left. Hahahaha, not really. I showered, and dried my hair going with the straight look and leaving my hair down for the night. The feelings I had the night before were back once again, and it was driving me crazy. My stomach was in knots and fluttery, and it was driving me crazy. I had my iPod playing from my clock/charging station in my room, when ‘The Kill’ came on. That happened to be one of my favorite songs by 30STM, and I loved the drum line throughout the song. It did funny things to my heart rate, it always has strangely enough. Singing along, I got dressed in a pair of black stretch skinny jeans and a red v-neck long sleeved ribbed shirt that I pulled over the outside of my jeans. Tonight I decided to wear a pair of knee high black zippered boots that I love. I sat down at the make-up mirror in my room and finished applying my make-up (there was almost none) and I was done by 2:30.

Jack was at my place by 2:45 with a box of chocolates in hand along with an apology for being a total douche, of course I accepted. He is my only brother and I love him after all. I told him he that he had still acted like a dick. Within 5 minutes the doorbell rang, and my heart began to race. I gave Jack a stern look, and he shrugged his shoulders as if to ask ‘what’?

Before I could get up off the couch to go get the door, Jake, was up and running down the stairs, yelling “I’ve got it!” I just sat there with my head in my hands thinking yep, I am sure you do. God help me, and protect me from embarrassing word vomit…