Set Fire to the Rain

I was sitting with the handwritten letter in my hands as I now sat outside looking into the large yard by myself swinging in the old fashioned porch swing that hung from the gazebo in the yard across from the garage apartment. It was always relaxing, even in slightly chilly weather like this. I had a light leather jacket on right now, and my feet were pulled up with my arms wrapped around my knees as it rocked slowly to calming rhythm. I don’t know what Shannon wanted me to do once I had seen the letter, so being the cautious person I am, I decided to hold off on it until I figured out exactly what the hell this all meant! Or did it mean anything? Arghhhhhhh! Men are so damned confusing. Besides, he was at practice right now anyway, so there was no way in hell I was going to interrupt him there. Bad idea.

“Hey there pretty lady.” I looked up when I heard Harold’s booming voice coming from the walkway coming from the main house. I hadn’t talked to him in a while; it might be nice to get a man’s perspective on this. “How are you, I haven’t seen you in quite a while.” He said to me.

The two of us sat on the white wooden garden swing together and filled each other in on what we had each been up too. Harold asked about MJ and how she was doing then we started talking about my job. He was always checking in on Jake, so he was pretty much caught up on what was going on in Jakes life. Harold is practically a member of our family, and he was the sort of person you could easily open up too. He reminded me a lot of one of my grandfathers, whom I had had lost when I was younger. Harold is a rather built gentleman with grey hair that is clipped closely to his scalp, in keeping with military style, and he has grey eyes. I guess you could say he is a rather handsome man.

“Well, I am doing ok, I guess, but I think you may actually be able to help me out. I need some male advice on something. I have been kind of spending time with someone, I guess.” I said shyly.

“Oh yes, that young man I have seen coming and going. He seemed nice enough when I introduced myself to him, very respectful, and he appears to be a good man that will treat you right. He hasn’t done anything that would make you uncomfortable right?” Harold asked with a furrow in between his brows.

“No, no, he’s been nothing but amazing. But maybe it’s too amazing. I just, I, well read this and tell me what you think after you’re done, ok?” And I passed him the letter as he sat back and relaxed to read it.

Harold slipped his reading glasses on and began to read the letter taking his time. After a few minutes, he sat there with a slow smile and said, “Dear, I think it’s quite obvious that this man, Shannon, is crazy about you. No one knows the future, or where it will lead. Yeah, you have a real son of a bitch for an ex-husband, but I don’t believe that you are destined to be alone for the rest of your life. You have a huge heart and too much love to give someone else, to end up being alone. Are you going to end up with this man, I don’t know. That will be up to the two of you, and whatever fate has in store for you. The best part about this is that you don’t have a set course ahead of you, and it’s ok to see where things will lead you. There is no right or wrong decision here Eliza. Just follow your heart. Don’t over think things; just let go and let yourself feel for a change. That’s the best advice I can give you darlin’.” Harold said to me with a smile.

“Part of me is terrified of what will happen when David shows up. Because I know that he will find out that I am spending time with someone, whether it’s as friends as or more than that. David won’t care about the difference Harold. He will only care that I am spending time with a man that’s not him. You know what David is capable of and Shannon or whoever the man is that I am spending time with doesn’t deserve the devastation that he brings with him.” I told him sadly.

“Are you going to spend your life letting David win, and you end up all alone at the end of all this? Because, you and I both know that if you continue to think this way, that’s exactly what is going to happen. He is going to get exactly what he wants, you with no one else.”

“No, that’s the last thing I fucking want. I want to be happy for fucks sake. All I have ever wanted was to be happy, for my kids to be happy. That’s why I left the dick in the first place.” I told Harold with determination, looking up into his grey eyes.

“Then I think you need to seriously re-think your outlook on the dating idea. Really open yourself up to the idea. Or you are going to end up living a very lonely and secluded adult life. There is so much more for you to do and experience out there Eliza. You are so very young. I am an 80 year old man, and I have been alone for the last 10 years since my beautiful Mary passed away. I don’t wish loneliness on anyone. You don’t want this darlin’, you really don’t. It’s no way to live out the rest of your young life. Just think about that. You may not believe this Eliza, but you deserve to be happy, and who knows, Shannon may be the key to that happiness. And unless, you really give yourself a chance with him, you will never know for sure. Don’t you think, that after all you have been through you deserve at least that much?” He handed me back the letter folding it back up as he did so, and leaned over pecking me on top of my head and stood. Harold gave me a small smile, and he began to walk away from me and back towards the main house.

I sat back again, pulling my knees back up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs once again and began to look around the yard. Taking in the rose garden that had started to bloom, the vegetable garden that wasn’t too far from the roses, the gazebo sat in the far corner of the yard and was surrounded by flowers that I would consider to be an English type garden. I glanced up at the huge 3 story Victorian that was the main house; it was painted in an array of burnt oranges, yellows, dark greens, and numerous other colors, almost as if it were a Tuscan painting, with stained glass windows scattered throughout. The house was breathtaking to look at; I loved to think about Harold and Mary working on the stained glass windows together picking the colors etc. Then I thought about what Harold had said to me, and about him and his life with Mary. They never had any children together. It was only the two of them all the years they were together, 52 years; he had told me during one of our many talks. Since Harold had been career military for most of his life and he and Mary had moved around a lot of the early part of their marriage, they had decided to wait on kids until they had settled into a home. When it finally happened, though, they found out that a childhood illness had caused Mary not to be able to have any kids. Yes, they were very disappointed, and after some time, they came to the conclusion that it just wasn’t meant to be, that fate had only meant for it to be the two of them, deciding to live a very full life together up until the day that Harold had lost the love of his life. They had loved this house, this town, and Harold plans on staying here for the rest of his days. He tends Mary’s rose garden every season and does it lovingly. The way he talks of her, makes me believe that love is out there somewhere, and there is a chance for all of us. Seeing Harold wander around the house at night and sitting on his front porch alone when I come home from work, made me sad. My heart broke a little bit thinking about, as I swung back and forth.

I sat there for about a half hour, when a black town car drove up the driveway. Already knowing what this was about, I stood up and walked in the direction of the gentleman who was carrying a large manila envelope in his hands along with an electronic pad of some kind, walking towards the side of the garage, where the apartment door was. I jogged over to him and yelled out a greeting to catch his attention.

He turned his attention toward me and started walking over to me with a smile and asked me if I was Eliza Cahrter.

“Yes, I am, can I help you?”

“I have a delivery for you, and I need you to sign here please” he said in a friendly voice handing me the signature pad and electronic pen to sign my name with, while still holding the manila envelope in one of his other hands.

I took the pad, and signed in the appropriate place. When I was finished, he handed me the envelope and took back the pad, saying thank you. Then he turned around, walking back to his car, getting inside, and left. Holding the large and somewhat thick envelope in my hands along with my letter, I decided to go inside to check out the contents. When I was settled on the couch in the living room, I opened the sealed envelope and poured everything out onto the coffee table in front of me. It was incredible to see what was in front of me and really take in what was sitting there. There was a huge pile of passes for each night that the band had a show. Four days’ worth of tickets and passes, it was insane. I was slightly shocked at the sheer sized of the pile itself, then I noticed there was a note tucked behind the first pass. It was short and simple from Shannon not surprisingly.

Eliza-

I’m really hoping you take full advantage of me on this….

Shannon

Taking a deep breath, running my hands over my face, I took my jacket off and sat back on the couch for a little while staring at the pile of passes trying to figure out what I was going to do about this upcoming week. Feeling like I was having a tug of war with my head and my heart, I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do with what sat in front of me. Leaning forward, I picked up one of the passes and held it in my hands and just looked at it. I had thought about calling Kym, Scott or even Craig, but knew that ultimately they would all end up telling me something along the same lines as what Harold had said to me earlier. The decision would have to be mine, and mine alone. Placing the pass back with the rest, I slid them all back into the envelope and closed the clasp so they wouldn’t fall out and get lost. Then I stood up and walked to my room after moving past my doorway I made my way over to my vanity. Bending down, I pulled open the bottom drawer, and placed the envelope inside sliding the drawer shut knowing the contents would be safely tucked away inside. When I turned toward my bed I was faced with the giant purple elephant on my bed, Freddy. Walking slowly toward my bed I glanced down and saw the purple rose that Shannon had probably taken from the garden and I had stupidly forgotten to put into water. Since it had already spent so much time out of water, I grabbed a book from inside my nightstand, opened it and placed the rose inside the book and shut it, placing the book back from where I had taken it. I wanted to save this particular rose for some reason, it seemed special to me. Turning towards Freddy, I glanced down upon my bed and saw the photograph of Shannon and I. Picking it up in one hand and lying back on my pillow; I looked at the picture and how happy the two of us were. We looked happy. There was a genuine smile on my face. A full smile, a small hint of who I could be shone through in the photo and Shannon caught that. I actually looked happy. Something I can’t say I have been in many, many years. My cheeks started to feel damp, and it was then that it hit me, that silent tears had started to flow down my face. I wiped the tears away slowly and I felt a need to hold onto something, and the first thing I reached for was Freddy. Realizing deep down that the man standing next to me in front of the park gates yesterday was the reason for that happiness. Shannon was slowly making a crack in my very hardened heart. I had never expected to find happiness with a man again. Just being happy, with no expectations, being happy for a change, was the most amazing feeling I have had in as long as I can remember. I placed the picture of us facing me on my nightstand, leaning it against another picture frame until I can get another frame specifically for it. Lying down with my elephant in my arms looking at my picture, a small smile on my lips, I started to drift into sleep while holding onto my elephant, and thinking of the decision I had just made about the upcoming week…