Set Fire to the Rain

Early the next morning with the sun streaming into my room across the hardwood floors, I woke up wanting to stretch out my entire body, but felt the awful reminders of what had transpired the night before. My neck, shoulders, and arms were so achy. My head was pounding like someone had placed a fucking jackhammer on my skull and turned it on full speed through the night and I had been popping Advil and Motrin all night long. When we left the venue last night, I already knew I wouldn’t be able to make it into work today, so I called Claire when Jack dropped JT and I off at home last night, to let her know I would be staying home. I had said that I was beyond exhausted, and needed the rest. Though, they had probably assumed that I was taking the day to spend with Shannon because he had the day off from performing. Pulling me from my train of thought was the distinct ring of my cell phone starting to vibrate and ‘The Kill’ started to play from my nightstand. Reaching over in tender movements, I picked it up glancing at the Caller ID, because this was my default ringtone for anyone I didn’t know, and the number I absolutely didn’t know, that made me slightly uneasy, so I pushed ignore, and started to scroll through all the missed calls and messages I had. There weren’t many, a missed call from MJ, great, one from Shannon, yay, and this one. My cell began to vibrate again and the same number flashed on the screen playing the same song. This person was proving to be persistent, and would probably continue calling me until I answered. Running over my options in my head quickly, I decided that instead of listening to annoying vibrating sounds over the next few hours, I may as well answer and see who it is. The worst that could happen is I hang up on them if I don’t know them and change my number. Deep down though, I had a fairly good idea of who it may be.
Sitting up slowly and pushing a few pillows behind me leaning on the headboard, I moved to lean back against them.

I grabbed Freddy, leaned back with my cell phone and pressing the talk button and raising my cell phone to my ear, I answered the call “Hello?”

“As I told you last night, it would do you no good to call out sick today Eliza. I have your address, your phone number and your cell phone number too, and given that you have called out of work today, I am guessing that we will be having lunch together at your house. All you have to do is give me a time babe.” Jared said smooth as silk. It was way too early to sound as good as he does.

“Good morning to you too Jared.” I groaned.

“Good morning El!” He squeaked in childlike excitement.

“You are really going to just show up here for lunch aren’t you, whether I invite you or not.”

“Yep, that is the plan! Hey, I warned you last night. I am a man of my word babe.” He chuckled.

“Ughh! Fine. Why don’t you come at 1:30, is that ok?”

“Works for me! Can’t wait to see where my bro’s favorite girl lives. This should be fun!”

“Oh for fucks sake Jared, I am not his girl.”

“Mhmmm, you keep telling yourself that babe.” And he laughed at me, hysterical laughter on the other end of the line.

“Stop calling me babe, ok.”

“Touchy, touchy.” He said to me in a very sarcastic tone.

I facepalmed and just gave up. There was no way I could win with this man; he is just like his brother.

“So, should I bring anything with me for lunch?” Jared asked me.

“Um, yeah that may be a great idea considering practically everything in my place either makes a ‘moo’, ‘cluck’, or an oink noise. So if you have any intention of eating, this afternoon, I suggest either you eat before you get here, bring something for yourself or I may just let the farm animals after you, and you will have to fend for yourself. ” I teased him.

“What, no ‘glub-glub’?”

“Huh? What the fuck is that exactly?” Trying to make my way very slowly out of my room, because it hurt to move and I had let Jake stay home from school today, and into my kitchen to get something to eat. It’s only 7am, and all this talk about food started my tummy growling.

“Come on! Ya know! Fishy fishy babe!” Jared accentuated the word babe, which I had already asked him not to call me. Jerk. Ok, well not really.

“I’m going to eat breakfast and go back to sleep. Text before you leave and I will see you later.”

“What? Going so soon?”

“Yes.” I laughed at the childish demeanor he could carry off and no one cared.

Click. I hung up on him. Sorry but I am fucking cranky, sore and hungry. We had started talking about food and I need to eat. Going into the kitchen, I grabbed something really quick to eat and made my way back to bed; sitting back with Freddy right next to me, I tugged the covers up tight, getting as comfortable as I could. I began eating the bagel and cream cheese I had brought back with me from the kitchen in silence. Major procrastinating was being done on listening to the voice mail I knew was waiting for me from MJ. I had noticed when I came back into my room that there was a text message from Evan simply stating that he had cleared the air, but a very unhappy, scared young lady needed to talk to her mom. So she knew the truth for sure, now we needed to talk, though it wouldn’t be easy, it would be different. Now Evan is a huge part of her life and a part of mine in a way. It will be very interesting to see how the dynamics play out there. I took a couple more Advil for the aches and pains I had, but mostly for the pounding headache I was fighting. Pulling the pillows down lower on my bed so it was more comfortable to rest, I set my alarm and felt myself start to become drowsy. The last thing I saw before closing my eyes was the newly framed picture of Shannon and I at the park, however, the last thought I had before drifting completely into sleep was that I had lied to him and my family, quite possibly fucking up a really good thing. God, I was an idiot.

It was around 11:45am and I was sitting on my bed listening to the voicemail that MJ had left for me very late last night. True to Evan’s word, once they arrived back at the dorms, he had sat down with her and explained about my run in with David, and how he and Ryan had basically saved my ass. To say that my daughter was beyond pissed off would be a massive understatement. I knew she would be, and that’s exactly why I had procrastinated listening to her message for as long as I had. The message she had left for me was filled with a huge mix of emotions ranging from angry, scared, livid, terrified, to worried, through the entire rant or maybe it was more like a mini lecture via voice mail she was giving me. It was difficult to listen to, as my daughter was in a state of angry tears, through almost the entire thing. Screaming at me, at Evan, at her dad who wasn’t even there, the whole thing fucking killed me, and this was why I didn’t want her to know. After a few days she will calm down, and it will all get better. I needed to believe that. The hardest part is going to be calling her back. As I was contemplating my options, there was a gentle knock on my door and Jake poked his head into my room.

“What’s up Jakey?” I asked my son.

“Yeah, mom there is a delivery for you in the living room. I think you really need to come in and see this.” He had a sour expression on his face when he looked at me. Right now he was not really on speaking terms with me. Another casualty from the David fiasco of last night, and not being totally upfront with him the second I got back to the seats with Evan and Ryan last night. I don’t blame him. I put my cell phone into my back jean pocket thinking I will deal with MJ much later. I still needed to figure out how I was going to talk to her about what had happened and why I had lied to her. After standing up, I took a quick glance at the pictures of those I cared about most, on my nightstand as I turned towards my bedroom door. Walking forward, I caught a glimpse of myself in my vanity mirror and cringed. I didn’t look the worse I ever had, but I didn’t look great. I had large hand sized bruises on both sides of my face that were a very dark purple with some blackening areas and on the right side of my face I had a huge bruise that was left behind from the impact of David’s wedding band that he still wore. That had really hurt. This was going to be a bitch to cover up before Jared showed up for lunch. Though, having so many years of practice, I should be able to cover up the majority of it. My arms were another story all together. At least right now, I had them covered with long sleeves to hide the marks that had been left there. They were in terrible shape. There were multiple hand print bruises up and down both of my arms in so many different places, that I would never be able to cover them with makeup. I would be wearing long sleeves for weeks and weeks. That was going to suck. The lump on the back of my head was killing me and I had to be very careful when I showered and brushed my hair. I had woken up with an enormous headache this morning, and have been taking Advil like crazy ever since. So this morning I had decided to let my hair air dry, and on the rare occasion that I do that, you get me with very wavy hair. Honestly, today I was too sore to care either way. I continued walking out my bedroom door and down the hallway towards the living room to see what this delivery was all about and came to a complete stand still when I literally saw the faces of not only Jared, but also MJ, Evan, Kym, Jack, and the one person I couldn’t bear to look in the eyes right now, feeling the sting of tears immediately, was Shannon. He was going to hate me, if he didn’t already.

Hearing the collective gasp, cries of shock and horror, and intense strings of curse words from the assembled, the second I walked into the living room, I just stood there feeling the tears start to roll slowly down my cheeks. There were no words that I could say. I was so embarrassed, and I felt so absolutely horrible for lying to the people I loved and I knew if I tried to say anything that first of all it wouldn’t be even near good enough for them as apologies or explanations went, but whatever came out would be nothing but a choked cry. After a brief moment, there was a figure standing in front of me, and I didn’t have the courage yet to look up. Taking a slow shaky breath, I lifted my gaze to see who it was that was there, my heart aching when I saw the blue eyes looking down into mine with concern. The first person that had come to me was, believe it or not, Jared.

He was standing in front of me patiently as I lowered my gaze again and was looking at the floor wringing my hands together nervously, he very up slowly with his hands and gently wiped the tears away. “I’m sorry for doing things this way El, but I believe that this is for the best. You need us, and we need you. Don’t push us away babe. Because I can guarantee that we aren’t going anywhere. You can push and push and build as big a wall as you like, but none of us is leaving you to fight this battle on your own. You are too special to all of us. By the way, you look like fucking shit.” He jested lifting my chin to have me look him in his blue eyes. ”I am serious. We are all here for you. No more lies, Eliza. Now what you need to do is sit down and tell us everything that happened from beginning to end. Don’t leave anything out. We need to know it all.” Smiling sweetly, I nodded slightly at him, not sure if I really believed that his brother wasn’t already planning his escape route. Jared gestured towards the loveseat and I made my way towards it not looking anyone in the eye, where I sat down, hoping that Shannon would be the one to sit next to me, slightly disappointed when it was MJ.

Sitting cross legged next to me on the small couch facing towards me, she very slowly reached out her hand to lightly touch my face and slide it over my skin. I flinched back when she touched on a particularly sensitive area, but I understood what she was doing. MJ was trying to understand what her dad had been thinking and doing when he did this. What she was doing now, was something she used to do when she was younger and the kids had to take care of me after many similar situations. Almost like she was trying to get a look into how his mind operated. One time Mags told me it was to make sure that she never, did this to another living soul, to leave this kind of damage and cause this kind of pain on someone else’s lives. This was coming from a kid who at the time was maybe only 11 or 12 years old. She was always that intuitive with everything.

“Where else mom” She asked when she had finished looking over my face. “Evan already told me everything, so you might as well tell the rest of them.” She whispered.

Still unable to speak, I pointed to the back of my head, and she very lightly touched there and I hissed in pain, it hurt like a fucking bitch.

“That’s the one that hurts the most huh?”

I shook my head slowly saying in a sad voice “Not even close” While glancing at her then in Shannon’s direction, just not at him.

“How many times did he backhand you mommy?”

“2-3 I think. I slightly blacked out and I don’t remember exactly how many times he threw me into the wall.” I whispered without looking at her.

“You blacked out? And didn’t go to a fucking hospital! Evan did you know that?” MJ asked in a frightened tone.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Shannon had turned and started to pace around the room angrily; he was grumbling to himself, wringing his fists together, clenching and unclenching them. Shaking his head slowly back and forth while staring at the floor, I managed to catch him say,”…could have a fucking concussion. She could have internal injuries or shit. El didn’t even go to the fucking hospital. Unfucking believable. This asshole has got to….” He looked like he was going to punch something, and hit it hard. I looked at Jared quickly trying to get his attention, and get him to go take care of the situation. The last thing we needed was an injured Shannon Leto at anyone’s expense, especially mine. Jared nodded slightly and walked over to Shannon tapping him on the shoulder gaining his attention then pulling him aside talking quietly between themselves for a few minutes with things becoming more at ease. Though, Shannon and I were still unable to look at one another in the eye. That’s what hurt me the most at the moment. Once Jared had calmed Shannon down a MJ continued talking with Evan.

“We knew nothing about the blacking out, I swear. If we had, Ryan and I would have had her at the nearest hospital.” Holding his hands up in defense he had a surprised look on his face. He really knew nothing about the blackout.

“I can wait all day, but I think we would all rather not.” She sat staring at me with her arms crossed over her chest with an expectant look on her face MJ simply wanted me to be the one to come clean to everyone else.

“What do you mean?” I said not looking up from the couch cushions, being honest about this was a lot easier said than done.

“Mom, you had better start talking right fucking now, or I will spill it for you, I swear to fucking all that is sacred!” Jake screamed at me from across the room where he stood on his own but near Jack. When JT said that, Jack gave him a very nervous look. Cop mode was officially on.

“Fine, I will be right back.” Because I had a long sleeve shirt on, I figured showing them the bruises on my arms would be easier than trying to explain them, so now I needed to change into a short sleeved shirt with a sweatshirt over it to make things easier to show them. I certainly wasn’t stripping in front of them. I stood up and began walking to my room having to walk passed Shannon on the way, neither of us could look at each other, the atmosphere was still very awkward. It hit me that we hadn’t even said hello, not a glance, a hug, absolutely nothing! Not a single interaction between us. It was so fucking weird, and I hated it! My heart actually hurt, and I felt sick to my stomach. Half way down the hallway, I noticed Kym was walking next to me with a frown on her beautiful face.

“You were sent to babysit me weren’t you? “

“Bet your sweet ass I was. I am here to make sure that you change into a t-shirt with short sleeves and that no touch ups are attempted. This is everything out in the open time honey.”

“Y’all hate me now, don’t you?” I asked softly looking at her from the side.

“No we don’t hate you. Never at any time could we ever hate you sweetie. We hate that you lied about this and kept it from us. This was huge El. We could have helped you out. This is why you need to explain everything because I think there is a lot of confusion between people as to what was going on, and what really happened. Rumors started to get around last night before we left apparently.”

“Rumors, wait, what kind of rumors?” I asked her as we walked into my room and shut the door behind us, and then stopped to look at her.

“Some fans or some shit, said they saw you in a quote ‘compromising position’ un-quote, as they said with a strange man, I am guessing it was David they claimed to see you getting ready to leave the venue together with, but were interrupted by Evan and Ryan, thank god. Word obviously got back to Shannon honey. The fans were over-heard by security and since these things were coming from people he has known and trusted for years, he is confused. Of course he doesn’t want to believe them, but I think he wants; no he needs to hear the truth El, from you. Not one of us or the crew. Open up to us, the people who love you. We want to help you for once; you just have to let us for a change. Now, change your shirt and let’s get this over with.” Kym said with authority in her voice as she pointed towards my closet.

Walking to my closet, and taking off the button down shirt I had been wearing I grabbed a hanger and hung it up, hearing Kym curse behind me when she saw the marks on my arms. Glancing over my right shoulder I looked back at her and saw she was standing by my bed with her hand over her mouth, head shaking slowly, and then turn away when she caught me looking at her. I made my way over to my dresser opening up a drawer and grabbed one of my Nirvana t-shirts, slowly slipping it over my head and down over my slim frame, reaching back and pulling my hair out from under the shirt collar. I also grabbed my black Avenged Sevenfold ‘foREVer’ sweatshirt slipping that on over the t-shirt. My face, I knew looked like I had been skiing and had an accident going face first into a tree. It seemed pointless to do anything about it now; the cat was out of the virtual bag. Taking a few deep breaths I looked at Kym and she took my hand saying it was going to be ok, and we opened my bedroom door walking out into the hallway and back towards the lion’s den. I went back to sit down where I had been originally with MJ who sat waiting for me.

Mags took a brief moment to take in my attire, and let me get comfortable, but asked me something first.” How bad are the headaches? Honestly”

“I have been taking Advil like candy since I got home last night, and it’s not making a dent. So they are a bitch, that won’t go away. Feeling like the last time maybe.” I grumbled.

“What exactly does that mean?” Jared asked while looking at his brother who had the saddest look on his face, and still was not looking at me. It literally made me feel like my heart was breaking and falling into the deepest pits of my soul.

“What it means Jared, is that my sister probably has either a head injury of some sort, or a concussion. Oh yeah, or maybe both. That’s why she really should have been taken to the hospital last night.” Jack said in a very nasty smart ass tone. I can understand the man is pissed off; but having him as an enemy may be worse right now.

“Mom, can you please show us the rest of the, you know… marks.” MJ asked quietly.

“Yeah, sorry.” I said softly as I very slowly started to unzip my hoodie, then slip it off of my shoulders. I let it pool around the back of me, not taking it off all the way. This way I could just pull it back on once everyone was finished looking over my ‘scars’. I heard my family talking and making the usual noises amongst themselves as I just sat quietly next to my daughter. Really what was there to say at this point? After a few minutes I raised my arms slightly pulling the sweatshirt back into place and zipping it once again.

MJ leaned over and gave me a kiss on my cheek then whispered into my ear, “Thank you mommy.” I only turned my head slightly and tried to smile at her.

Jared, Shannon and Kym began making their way to the couch that was directly across from the loveseat. Shannon took a seat towards one end and Jared sat at the other end with Kym sitting in between the brothers in the center. They were all extremely unhappy looking. Surprising I know. Jack went and pulled a chair from the kitchen and placed it in between the couches and JT was sitting in an old arm-chair, hunched forward with his hands clasped together, his head looking at the floor. He had not said much of anything or looked at me since he told me to come clean earlier. What had I done to these people that I care so much about? This whole situation was putting them all into an uncomfortable position that they didn’t deserve, and was totally avoidable by me. Now there were rumors going around, about David and I getting back to Shannon, just great. I couldn’t bear to look at any of them, it hurt too much.

“What’s the next step? What does Eliza need to do?” Jared asked Jack in a very serious and concerned tone.

“After we hear every single detail of what happened last night, she will need to get her ass to a fucking hospital to have the regular tests done to make sure that he didn’t do any more damage to her than he already has. Luckily for her it isn’t the worst that’s ever happened.” Jack started to grumble under his breath about finding and killing David then ripping him apart or something to that effect. I have no idea.

“Excuse me! I am sitting right here guys!” I said not getting entirely upset given the circumstances. I just didn’t like being talked about like I wasn’t in the room.

“Hold on a second, it’s been worse than this? How much worse El? Jack? MJ, JT? Will someone please answer me before I go fucking crazy! What the fuck has he done to her that is worse!” Shannon screamed from the couch directly across from me. I actually looked at him for the first time since he had arrived, and he was so tired and worn looking. No he looked genuinely pissed off. He's angry with David and me for not trusting him with everything. I understand it though.

Then I looked directly at Jack, and I gave him a stern look of warning. There were definite things I did not want getting out, and especially to the people in this room. Given the extremely pissed off state the Jack was in, he was bound to let these things slip if he wasn’t careful. I shook my head slowly at him as he started to talk.

“Shannon, saying that David is a monster, is an understatement. Eliza has appropriately deemed him the Devil, because that’s how bad he has been to her. Let’s see, I won’t get into all the details, but she’s been hospitalized at least 5 times in the last 4 years alone, in a coma twice, he almost killed her twice, the most recent time, right before the divorce being the worst and probably the closest he ever came to making that happen, she’s had broken ribs, both arms, a leg broken, her back broken, a disc in her neck shattered, David has learned to keep the beating on her face to a minimum because they were a lot harder to cover up and people started to ask questions. The verbal abuse towards her and the kids was beyond anything I could ever imagine having to endure, and having to do that day and night on top of the physical abuse plus whatever she hasn’t told me about, and protecting her kids and she never fucking filed charges. Oh yeah, and that doesn’t count the slapping, backhanding, and rules to live by does it El. Did she ever tell you that she wasn’t allowed to buy her own clothes, not even her underwear? She had to ask for permission to buy anything. He wouldn’t allow her to have any friends for fucks sake! The only reason she got away with having the friends she did was because he was terrified of them! That bastard ran every aspect of her life, everything. I know for a fact that she isn’t telling me things. He is going to end up killing her one day, and you are letting him get away with it El! When are you going to get that through you fucking head?! ” He yelled at me.

“Jack!!!!! Stop right there, do you understand what I am saying to you! Shut the fuck up right fucking now! It’s none of your goddamned business you understand me!” I screamed at him as the tears were now sliding down my face. Breaking down into tears, I felt MJ wrap her arms around my shoulders and she held onto me.

“Sweetheart, when you said it was bad, you never at any time said it was that bad. Why didn’t you tell me?” Shannon asked lowly.

“I’m so sorry I lied to you, about this and about being ok last night too. It’s, well…First of all this isn’t all that easy to talk about to begin with, especially with someone you are just getting to know. All of what Jack has said is true. I’m so sorry. David is a very dangerous man.” I said in a choked whisper looking up at the group assembled around the room with sad eyes. “He’s a man of his word and he has promised that any man I involve in my life whether as a friend or more than that, he will destroy them. Not only that, but he will destroy their family, my family, and by doing that, he knows that will kill me. I guess he figures if he can’t kill me physically, he will do it emotionally and mentally. David is a man of his word and when he says he will make all of our lives a fucking nightmare, I believe him. David will come after us in some way. He will destroy us. It’s already started.”

“You are fucking kidding right? I don’t give a fuck if the bastard wants to come after me or not. I’m a big boy El, let him try to get to me, because if he does, I’m not the one who will end up destroyed in this little scenario he has made up in his mind. I want to put this man into the fucking ground, after everything he’s done.” Shannon yelled from the couch across from me.

“Well, maybe I’m not willing to risk the people I care about, don’t y’all get that! I can’t lose you, I won’t lose you!”

“Do you really think that he could actually get to me sweetheart? We can take care of ourselves, and I can promise you, that I can take care of myself. If even the smallest thing happened to Jared, Tomo or I, it would be all over the fucking news in minutes. David would be an even bigger fucking idiot than he already is, if he were to ever attempt coming after any of us. He would be a dead man. The Echelon would hunt the fuck down, disembowel him, cut him to pieces then kill him after they torture him for a while. Just for kicks.”

“Shannon, that isn’t even close to being fucking humorous! Do you understand me! This is fucking serious!”

“Yeah! You’re right, it is really fucking serious!! He beat the shit out of you last night, and almost took you to who the fucking hell knows where. If it weren’t for Jack sending Evan and Ryan to go check on you, I would have no fucking idea where you are right now. I could be talking to detectives, handing out ‘missing’ flyers and not looking at you right now! Don’t you get that?” Leaning slightly forward, Shannon took a deep breath, placing his elbows on his knees and his head into his hands he sat there quietly for a little while. I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but it had started my silent tears once again, and I had to turn away from his hunched form with Jared giving me a sad smile.

“Well, at least it seems that we are all on the same page where David is concerned then.” Jack said to everyone.

“There is going to be a very long line to kill, maim and destroy this motherfucker when we get our hands on this asshole.” Kym said from in between Jared and Shannon. Jared’s arm was draped over the back of the couch and he dropped it over her shoulder pulling her close.

“Awwe, I knew we’d get along babe! Think of the fun we could have beating the shit out of the guy.” Jared said to Kym with a wink.

“You sexy thing, don’t even get me started.” Kym jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow jokingly, trying to lighten the mood slightly.

“Eliza, you know that you still need to tell us what happened last night. There are a few different versions of it going around. Please, we need to know.” Shannon pleaded, looking up with his hands running through his short hair.

“Yeah, I heard about that.” Looking straight into his hazel eyes, I took a deep breath and steadied myself so that I could explain everything. “Get comfortable because I need to get this story out. I promise to be honest with every detail and leave nothing out. If things get a little confusing with the timeline, I am sorry. I will do my best. As for the rumors that were going around, I just heard about them. I hope you know that they are completely unfounded. They are all bullshit. Ok, just bear with me, this may not be so easy to get into.” I looked around as everyone had begun to find places to sit down and get comfortable. MJ and Jakey stood and walked away from the love seat and Shannon had gotten up from the large couch with Jared and was making his way towards the love seat where I was, then he sat down next to me. He sat back pulling his legs up on the couch and relaxing his left arm along the back of the couch he began dragging his fingers along my arm lightly. He looked up into my eyes with a guarded expression. Wanting to hear my story, he sat quietly and waited