Set Fire to the Rain

Shannon’s POV This Chapter

Eliza had invited me to go to dinner at her place, even offering to cook for me, but instead of accepting, I went with what my head wanted instead of what my heart was screaming out for, which was more time with El. With a strange, twisted feeling in my gut, I had her punch in the address for the train station before we left the beach, making up an excuse saying that it was getting late, and with the shows over the next few days I really needed to get home. Yeah, it was total bullshit, but I honestly needed some away from her for a while to clear my head. I had said a lot of things to El that I wasn’t sure I could follow through on. Sitting alone, by the window on the NJ Transit train going towards home, I pulled my cell phone out from my back pocket, and pressed in the familiar number placing the phone to my ear, waiting as phone rang on other end.

“Yessssss…” Jared’s smooth voice answered.

“Hey bro. What are you doing right now?” I asked.

“I’m just hanging out at home, lurking on Twitter. Why what’s up?”

“You are a sick and twisted man J. Listen, would it be cool if I stopped by for a little while, I need to talk to someone.”

“Of course it’s alright. What happened with Eliza man? Things didn’t go as well as you’d hoped did they?”

“No, I’m not ok. I will explain everything when I get there. I am on the train now, and should be arriving at Grand Central in about 5 minutes. So I will be there in around a half hour. “

“Alright man, see you then.”

“Hey J…”

“Mhmm?”

“Thanks.”

If anyone could help me figure this thing out with Eliza, I knew it would be my brother. When I had left the ER to go get the car from the parking garage, I had made a quick call to Jared to let him know what the test results had been at the hospital, and also filled him in on what had been happening between Eliza and I recently. When I told him of my plans and where I wanted to take her so that we could talk, he thought it would be the perfect place with no one to get in the way. Unfortunately, it hadn’t gone as well as I had hoped. Being the smart man that my brother is, I know that he will have many more amazing suggestions that may actually help me out. I must say that He is one of the most intelligent people I know. Sure he can be a smartass, funny, crazy motherfucker, but when you get him to sit down and just talk, you can have some of the most incredible conversations with him. Jared may be my younger brother, but the man has taught me so much over the years, I can’t begin to list what I have learned from him, and the things he has shown me. It has been an incredible adventure growing up with my brother. He has also been through a lot with relationships, unfortunately, not all of them pleasant things. I never liked seeing my brother hurt or in pain. There are some things that we just have no control over. God knows if I could, I would.

Before I knew it, I was pulled from my thoughts by the train pulling into the station and coming to a complete stop. I stood up making my way quickly towards the exit of the train and stepping down the two stairs and moving into the busy flow of the crowd moving in the underbelly of the station. Finding my way to the stairs I walked up the two flights into the main Concourse of Grand Central Station. I walked outside to the curb raising my hand to hail a cab which happened fairly quickly. It was now dark outside and there weren’t too many people around right now trying to hail a cab. When the cab pulled up, I slid into the back seat, giving the gentleman driving the address to Jay’s condo. Sitting back and watching the city glide by, I thought about how much I loved NY, and how much I loved the hustle and bustle of it all. It was so much different than LA, but the same too. But there is just something about NY…

We pulled up to the curb, and I paid the taxi driver plus a generous tip, and exited the cab. I walked up to the brownstone in the beautiful neighborhood that my brother had his condo in for when he spent time here. Of course, I had a key, so there was no need for me to buzz in. I unlocked the front door; walking in making sure it closed securely behind me and did the same with the next set of doors. Then I started to walk up the 2 flights of stairs to where he lives. The place is immaculate, like a fucking museum, with unique artwork, sculptures, and strange odds and ends that you wouldn’t expect to be there. The thing that was great about going into his place was that you could actually play with the things he had here. My brother is a giant child to say the least. Ok, we both are, I admitted as I reached the last stair and walked down the hallway to stand in front of Jared’s door. Standing there for a moment I lifted my hand and knocked. I placed my hands in my jeans pockets while I waited for Jared to come to the door.

I heard the locks flipping and then the door swung open. Looking up into the crystal blue eyes of my brother, he nodded his head towards the inside of his condo, walking through the doorway, I heard Jared shut and lock the door behind me and follow me down the long hallway into the living room where I immediately took a seat on one of his large white puffy couches. The rooms in his home were done in a very contemporary design. There were all white walls, along with that of a couple that were exposed original brick, hard wood floors everywhere, and he had a lot of beautiful original art pieces hanging around each room. The living room had a large window that spanned the length of the entire room letting in all natural light during the day. On the couches were a few black throw pillows scattered on each and a red and black designed blanket lying along the back of the large couch. The dining room had a huge glass dining room table with 8 black leather chairs surrounding it. Jared’s condo was absolutely perfect for my brother, clean lines, contemporary, and artsy…Jared. He took a seat on the couch opposite me taking a deep breath he leaned back raising his arms onto the back of the couch, getting comfortable.

“Alright bro, spill it. What the fuck happened in between the time you called me from the hospital and filled me in on how El’s tests came out, taking her to the beach, and now. Obviously, something went wrong, or you wouldn’t have shown up looking like someone just killed your dog.”

Slipping my leather jacket slowly off my shoulders and laying it onto the couch next to me, I sat with my head leaning back against the couch looking up at the ceiling, I rubbed my hands over my face and up through my hair and back down my neck, trying to rub out the tension that had built up there. Sitting up, I looked up at Jared and shook my head. How or where do I even start? I am no good at this. Jared is the one who has all the experience with relationship crap, that’s why I came to him in the first place. “Jay, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Ok, did you talk to her like you planned on doing when you got to the beach?”

“Oh yeah, I sure did and that went really fucking well.” I grumbled.

“Explain that to me please…”

“There’s something there Jared! When we touch hands, or kiss, or we look at each other, I feel it. She drives me fucking crazy, man!” Throwing my hands in the air in frustration, I was starting to get angry at Jared for no other reason than he was sitting in front of me, and that wasn’t right. “Sorry bro. I’m just, confused, and extremely frustrated with how she and I left things.”

“What happened exactly, Shannon? Did you talk, or did you put the moves on her?” Jared said with a small smirk.

“Well, yeah, of course I put the moves on her, but not like you’re insinuating asshole! She was just attacked by her psycho-maniac douchebag of an ex last night. First I tried to talk to her, but she started to freak out on me, and yell at me saying how there was nothing between us, and it didn’t matter anyway, because I was leaving her behind, going home to LA next week to re-start my party life-style with hot, single, model, baggage free girls, and that she wouldn’t be a second thought to me. Oh, then she asked me how there could be anything between us, when we weren’t officially dating anyway, I would only remember her as a ‘damsel in distress’ with a couple kids that I was able to take care of for a while, or some shit. Basically, she is saying I am leaving her here to fend for herself, and I won’t think twice about her when I get home to my life, and I won’t ever see her again.” Just having completely lost it on Jared the way that Eliza had with me when we had first arrived at the shore, I took a much needed breath before I continued to tell my brother what El had said to me. If he was going to be of any help to me he needed to know everything. I looked at the floor and began to tap my fingers nervously on my legs when I started to speak again. “She said it wouldn’t work between us anyway because we are on two opposite sides of the country. Then I decided to shut her up and prove to her that she was wrong and I made my move.”

Jared slapped himself in the face, and looked at me. “Shann, you are an asshole sometimes and really don’t think things through, you know that. Ughh. Did you really take the time to listen to anything she actually said? Better yet, did you hear anything that just came from your fucking mouth?”

“Excuse me dick face! Fuck you! “I said looking away from him.

“Wait! Just hear me out before you go getting all defensive. I am trying to help you out here. What happened when you ‘made your move’ on her? ”

“Well, at first she seemed to be giving in, then all of a sudden, she pushed me away and went off on another rant about how there was nothing between us, but she couldn’t live without me in her life anymore, but wants to be friends. Only friends, that’s it, no more.” I leaned forward shaking my head.

“What did you tell her, I am almost afraid to ask?” Jared chuckled to himself.

“Really asshole, I am not a total dick you know. I told her that I was fine with that and I would love to be her friend, but I also told her that I wasn’t giving up on her. That seemed to make her happy I guess. At that point in time we were starting to head back because it was getting late and the tide was coming in. Then she invited me to dinner, saying she would cook for me and I declined, coming here instead. Of course, I told her I was going home to rest for tomorrow.”

“Can I ask you something, it’s kind of serious, so don’t laugh.” Jared asked sitting forward clasping his hands in front of him.

“Shoot.”

“What is it about this woman that has you so crazed, and what happens when we do go home? Really think about this man. If you decide to fight for her, what are you willing to do to make it happen? This woman is not just another one night stand Shannon, she has been through a lot of shit, and isn’t going to put up with what a lot of other people would, and I think you know that. You need to figure out where you see this going and you need to start figure it out sooner rather than later. It wouldn’t be fair for you to start dragging her down a road that could possibly end up breaking her heart all over again if you aren’t in this for the all the right reasons.”

I stood up and walked over to the large window that overlooked the city and just gazed out at the scene below me thinking about what Jared had asked. “I don’t know if I can find one particular thing about her that draws me to her. It’s a million little things and a thousand huge things, I can’t really pick one, you know? The first thing was that she didn’t go fan girl crazy on me when we met. That’s always a bonus, you know that.” I said turning and smiling at my brother. “There’s her laugh, her smile when she finds something you say totally ridiculous, the way she calls me a dumbass, and keeps me in line when I am being an idiot, but then the way she is so gentle and loving with the people she loves and cares about. How when we hold hands I feel like our hands melt into one, I actually feel sparks when we kiss, I can’t wait to see her again and I haven’t left her side, I look forward to hearing her voice every morning when I wake up and she is the last person I want to talk to and see if possible before I go to sleep. Eliza actually makes me want to be a better man.” I said softly still gazing out the window. Turning slightly to look at Jared I said over my shoulder, ”Would you believe, I haven’t even asked for sex, let alone fooling around. That’s been the furthest thing from my mind, ok maybe not, but I am ok waiting for her. And for the first time Jared, I actually see a possible future with someone. I have never looked past the dating phase with anyone before. I need her and want her in my life man. I can’t imagine her not being in my life. When she says that there is nothing between us, it scares the fucking shit out of me.”

Jared sat quietly on the couch for a minute deep in thought mulling over what I had told him, and looked over at me asking me the next few questions. “So what are you going to do when you go back to LA? That’s where our lives are Shannon. Our work is there, we live there? Long distance relationships never work.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence man.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just trying to keep you focused, and things realistic here. You need to be sure about what you are getting ready to do here. If you aren’t willing to make the effort, leave well enough alone.”

“I have money, and an apartment here, there’s no reason I couldn’t come back and forth between LA and NY. I mean, lots of people do it right?” Turning around and leaning against a table that was by the window, I looked at Jared pleading for him to give me a positive response.

“Dude, long distance is a lot of strain to put on a new relationship. It’s fucking exhausting, and don’t forget she works and has 2 kids. It’s not so easy for her to just pack up and leave to hop back and forth across the country. Yeah the kids are older, but there is also the psycho ex they have in their lives. Oh, and don’t forget your little project with Antoine too bro. You will probably be running off to tour again at some point with him all over the fucking place. This is why I am asking you, what are you willing to do to make this work? How serious are you about her?” Sitting back and looking in my direction, he rubbed his hand over his face deep in thought. “When you think about not being with her, only being friends, how does that make you feel?”

“Honestly, when she said there was nothing between us, and we could only be friends, I felt like someone was ripping my heart out and I had just lost my best fucking friend in the entire world. Dude, my heart actually hurt, physically hurt. I didn’t like that feeling. The thing was, when El said that to me, I could tell that she didn’t mean it.”

Jared sat and chuckled slightly to himself and shook his head slowly from side to side. “Oh, dear brother of mine, I do believe it sounds to me like you are falling in love, and it’s about fucking time too, old man. So, now what are you going to do to make this happen?”

“I’m not fucking old asshole. As far as Eliza goes, right now, I am willing to do whatever I have to do to make it work, if she will have me.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jared yelled excitedly throwing his arms in the air. “Believe me, she wants you, I can see it every time she looks at you. El just needs a little convincing. Now, I actually have a few ideas in mind that I think will work quite brilliantly if you are up for it? Have a seat; we have some planning to do.” Jared gestured to the couch across from him with a devious smile. “Just for the record, I happen to think Eliza has been great for you, and that the two of you together would be pure magic. Don’t raise that damned eyebrow at me, dumbass! “I walked around the couch and when I was seated Jared started mapping out the plan that would hopefully bring the woman that I had, according to my brother, started to fall in love with together at last.