Status: In Progress
Set Fire to the Rain
Making Me Wonder
Eliza’s POV
I had spent the entire day moping around the apartment. I was soar, cranky, and just in an all-around foul ass pissy mood. JT was staying as far away from me as possible. He had decided that he and Ari were going to go into Chelsea to see the Church of Mars show tonight, stating that we had the fucking passes and it would be an absolute waste not to use them, so they were going to go in. Of course John and Scott had offered lovingly to go with them and act as body guards on duty if the it was needed. But I was fairly certain that it wasn’t going to be necessary. So John and Scott had agreed to drive them to the show and that they would be watched constantly. I didn’t want anything happening to any of my kids for their friends, or my friends, for that matter, while they were there. I believe that the kids are going to be in the best hands and I was very proud of them for going and not letting their father’s actions run their lives, like I do. Of course the fact that the kids were going only made me want to go more. JT started the fucking domino effect. The second Mags heard he was going, she said that she and Jules were going, and then Kym said she and Errik were game and they were going. I was absolutely not going. I couldn’t risk it. They would be a lot better off there without me. I was actually very happy that they were going to be supporting such an amazing cause that was so close to the Letos hearts. Besides, I didn’t even know if Shannon would want me to go. Seriously, I haven’t heard from the man in over 24hours. That’s not normal! We talk almost 3 times a day minimum. Even when they have a show, he at least texts me, and I haven’t heard anything from him. It’s not like I haven’t tried either. Not that I am going overboard or anything, but I would send a quick text to check in and say hi, and get nothing. Or call his cell phone, and it would go to voice mail and he wouldn’t call back. IT’s so unlike him. I know he’s pissed about what happened at the shore the other day. That has to be it. I guess I can’t say I blame him. Maybe I need to take this time and really think about what I want for myself. Take a breather without anyone hovering and breathing down my neck, so to speak. That’s what I will do, take the next day or two and just think, figure out where my heart truly stands. Because let me tell you, if this is what being friends with Shannon is going to be like, basically being completely ignored, then I fucking hate it! I don’t want this, there has got to be a better way. I had been pacing around the garden outside and wound up walking up into the gazebo going towards the swing and pulling my legs up underneath me, leaning back and getting comfortable, I pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket, pulling up the appropriate name for text messages…
E—Hey You! I haven’t heard from you, and just wanted to say hi and I hope you have an amazing show tonight. You will see MJ, JT, Ari, John, Scott, Kym and Errik there tonight. They can’t wait to see y’all there. I hope you have fun. I can’t wait for you to tell me all about it.
I sat and waited to hear something back from him as the seconds turned into minutes, then longer minutes, and before I knew it I was sitting for almost 25 minutes before he finally responded to me. I nearly fell over. Nothing like making a girl wait! Lol!
S—Cool, I will keep an eye out for the kids and the crew. Should be fun.
E—How are you? Is everything ok?
Again, I sat waiting for a response. This was really odd behavior for him. He always responded right away before, nothing like this. I am totally confused. I only waited 10 minutes this time.
S—Tired, have to go. Be safe…
Ok, seriously, what the fuck was that! Sitting on the swing just thinking for a long while, about everything that had transpired over the past couple days. The 2 things that kept coming up in my mind were the fact that I had lied to him about what had happened with David and that I had told him I only wanted to keep things between us as friends. Nothing in this entire situation makes any sense. My head started to pound again from the stress and I decided to go inside to lay down for a nap. JT was going to be eating out with Ari before the show so they were leaving in the next couple hours. John and Scott were picking them up and driving them to the city and back. Scott and John had offered to play the role of Bodyguard in a way, of course I accepted right away, just in case, seriously, you never know in this family. I scoffed at myself.
I walked back inside and up to my room, noticing that my computer had a skype notice flashing on it. However before I had a chance to sit down and turn on the waiting call, a light knocking came from my door frame. I looked over to see a very uncertain expression across the face of my handsome son. This could not be a good look…
“Hey, Mom. How are you feeling today?” JT asked in a quiet voice.
“Still a bit sore, but it’s getting better and the bruises will go away with the pain. And it will soon be a distant memory. What’s going on JT something is up, I can sense it.”
“Haha, you were always really good at knowing when something was up from over a mile away lady. It always kinda freaked us out a little bit.” He said with a soft smile and he came over and sat on the end of my bed across from the chair where I was seated. “Ok, so there is never an easy way to bring this up, but he called me this morning, bright and early.”
“Oh,well yeah, of course he would, your birthday is next week. Did you talk with him?”
“I listened more than anything else. Fucktard wants to buy me a Hummer, BMW, or a Mercedes for my 18th birthday. Bastard, doesn’t know me at all. “
“What did you say to the devil? Fuck off maybe? And hey, listen, if there is something more you want than what I am giving you, please let me know. I feel like I am not doing enough for you. Just so you know you are allowed to tell dear dick head to fuck himself and that those are not the things you would like, none of it would make you happy.”
“There was something else mom, he was asking about you, and it was really creepy. So if you go anywhere please don’t go alone, ok. The old man is losing fast. I have to go get ready for tonight, but I wanted you to know.”
“Thank you so much my amazing son. I am so very proud of you, and the person you have grown into. I love you very much. Have fun tonight and enjoy the show. Be on your defensive especially when you are with Ari. Just be careful ok. I love you. Have fun.” I said smiling and walking over to hold my almost 18 yr old.
“Do you want to send any extra special hello’s to certain people tonight?” He said with a wink.
With a sad smile on my fade I looked at him and said “No, I don’t think that will be necessary. But thanks for offering.”
“Hey mom is everything alright?”
“No Jakey. No it’s not. And for the first time I am feeling completely lost and incomplete and absolutely terrified. I have no idea what to do with it. Ill figure it out somehow though. I always do. Now, go get ready!"
“Alright, alright!” Jake said with an excited smile and a wink as he walked out of my room turning down the hall towards his room across the hall to go get ready for his date with Ali.
The two things that stuck in my mind was that David had called Jakey when he knew I would be here, and David already knew that JT didn’t want the kind of extravagant gift that he was trying to lavish him with. Jake was all about the simple things and the small practical handmade or things that were more meaningful. Then when he mentioned that David was starting to talk creepy and act that way, I will have to be extra careful when I go anywhere, whether I have anyone with me or not. The whole thing just sucks.
I walked to my dresser picking up my laptop and brought it over to my bed, so I could be more comfortable while I did work from home and checked on who had sent the skype message. Of course it was a message from Maggs, but before I even had a chance to start the call with her, my cell phone began to ring in the one ringtone I never ever wanted to hear. ‘Burn’ by Papa Roach began playing loudly on my cell, the words a constant reminder of my former life and quite appropriate considering the feelings that I have towards my ex.
"Burn"
I didn't know you were a fake
Every lie straight to my face
So blind I could not see
Right behind my back you stabbed me
Should've know you were a bitch
Shut up you're making me sick
Little man you're nothing like me
Lying cheating so deceiving
I trusted you broke me down
And you screwed me over
Don't try to deny it
You cannot hide it
Ill be ignited
When I get to watch you burn
Burn Burn
I wanna watch you burn
Burn Burn
I wanna watch you burn
You're gonna get what you deserve
I wanna watch you burn
You turn me inside out
My world is upside down
You're not hurt are you happy now
Looking over your shoulder fucking me over
I trusted you sold me out
This is far from over
Don't try to deny it
You cannot hide it
Ill be ignited
When I get to watch you burn
Burn Burn
I wanna watch you burn
Burn Burn
I wanna watch you burn
Burn
I wanna watch you burn
You're gonna get what you deserve
You'll never learn
So, do I answer or not. Decisions, decisions. This may be the easiest one I have had to make lately... Not.
I had spent the entire day moping around the apartment. I was soar, cranky, and just in an all-around foul ass pissy mood. JT was staying as far away from me as possible. He had decided that he and Ari were going to go into Chelsea to see the Church of Mars show tonight, stating that we had the fucking passes and it would be an absolute waste not to use them, so they were going to go in. Of course John and Scott had offered lovingly to go with them and act as body guards on duty if the it was needed. But I was fairly certain that it wasn’t going to be necessary. So John and Scott had agreed to drive them to the show and that they would be watched constantly. I didn’t want anything happening to any of my kids for their friends, or my friends, for that matter, while they were there. I believe that the kids are going to be in the best hands and I was very proud of them for going and not letting their father’s actions run their lives, like I do. Of course the fact that the kids were going only made me want to go more. JT started the fucking domino effect. The second Mags heard he was going, she said that she and Jules were going, and then Kym said she and Errik were game and they were going. I was absolutely not going. I couldn’t risk it. They would be a lot better off there without me. I was actually very happy that they were going to be supporting such an amazing cause that was so close to the Letos hearts. Besides, I didn’t even know if Shannon would want me to go. Seriously, I haven’t heard from the man in over 24hours. That’s not normal! We talk almost 3 times a day minimum. Even when they have a show, he at least texts me, and I haven’t heard anything from him. It’s not like I haven’t tried either. Not that I am going overboard or anything, but I would send a quick text to check in and say hi, and get nothing. Or call his cell phone, and it would go to voice mail and he wouldn’t call back. IT’s so unlike him. I know he’s pissed about what happened at the shore the other day. That has to be it. I guess I can’t say I blame him. Maybe I need to take this time and really think about what I want for myself. Take a breather without anyone hovering and breathing down my neck, so to speak. That’s what I will do, take the next day or two and just think, figure out where my heart truly stands. Because let me tell you, if this is what being friends with Shannon is going to be like, basically being completely ignored, then I fucking hate it! I don’t want this, there has got to be a better way. I had been pacing around the garden outside and wound up walking up into the gazebo going towards the swing and pulling my legs up underneath me, leaning back and getting comfortable, I pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket, pulling up the appropriate name for text messages…
E—Hey You! I haven’t heard from you, and just wanted to say hi and I hope you have an amazing show tonight. You will see MJ, JT, Ari, John, Scott, Kym and Errik there tonight. They can’t wait to see y’all there. I hope you have fun. I can’t wait for you to tell me all about it.
I sat and waited to hear something back from him as the seconds turned into minutes, then longer minutes, and before I knew it I was sitting for almost 25 minutes before he finally responded to me. I nearly fell over. Nothing like making a girl wait! Lol!
S—Cool, I will keep an eye out for the kids and the crew. Should be fun.
E—How are you? Is everything ok?
Again, I sat waiting for a response. This was really odd behavior for him. He always responded right away before, nothing like this. I am totally confused. I only waited 10 minutes this time.
S—Tired, have to go. Be safe…
Ok, seriously, what the fuck was that! Sitting on the swing just thinking for a long while, about everything that had transpired over the past couple days. The 2 things that kept coming up in my mind were the fact that I had lied to him about what had happened with David and that I had told him I only wanted to keep things between us as friends. Nothing in this entire situation makes any sense. My head started to pound again from the stress and I decided to go inside to lay down for a nap. JT was going to be eating out with Ari before the show so they were leaving in the next couple hours. John and Scott were picking them up and driving them to the city and back. Scott and John had offered to play the role of Bodyguard in a way, of course I accepted right away, just in case, seriously, you never know in this family. I scoffed at myself.
I walked back inside and up to my room, noticing that my computer had a skype notice flashing on it. However before I had a chance to sit down and turn on the waiting call, a light knocking came from my door frame. I looked over to see a very uncertain expression across the face of my handsome son. This could not be a good look…
“Hey, Mom. How are you feeling today?” JT asked in a quiet voice.
“Still a bit sore, but it’s getting better and the bruises will go away with the pain. And it will soon be a distant memory. What’s going on JT something is up, I can sense it.”
“Haha, you were always really good at knowing when something was up from over a mile away lady. It always kinda freaked us out a little bit.” He said with a soft smile and he came over and sat on the end of my bed across from the chair where I was seated. “Ok, so there is never an easy way to bring this up, but he called me this morning, bright and early.”
“Oh,well yeah, of course he would, your birthday is next week. Did you talk with him?”
“I listened more than anything else. Fucktard wants to buy me a Hummer, BMW, or a Mercedes for my 18th birthday. Bastard, doesn’t know me at all. “
“What did you say to the devil? Fuck off maybe? And hey, listen, if there is something more you want than what I am giving you, please let me know. I feel like I am not doing enough for you. Just so you know you are allowed to tell dear dick head to fuck himself and that those are not the things you would like, none of it would make you happy.”
“There was something else mom, he was asking about you, and it was really creepy. So if you go anywhere please don’t go alone, ok. The old man is losing fast. I have to go get ready for tonight, but I wanted you to know.”
“Thank you so much my amazing son. I am so very proud of you, and the person you have grown into. I love you very much. Have fun tonight and enjoy the show. Be on your defensive especially when you are with Ari. Just be careful ok. I love you. Have fun.” I said smiling and walking over to hold my almost 18 yr old.
“Do you want to send any extra special hello’s to certain people tonight?” He said with a wink.
With a sad smile on my fade I looked at him and said “No, I don’t think that will be necessary. But thanks for offering.”
“Hey mom is everything alright?”
“No Jakey. No it’s not. And for the first time I am feeling completely lost and incomplete and absolutely terrified. I have no idea what to do with it. Ill figure it out somehow though. I always do. Now, go get ready!"
“Alright, alright!” Jake said with an excited smile and a wink as he walked out of my room turning down the hall towards his room across the hall to go get ready for his date with Ali.
The two things that stuck in my mind was that David had called Jakey when he knew I would be here, and David already knew that JT didn’t want the kind of extravagant gift that he was trying to lavish him with. Jake was all about the simple things and the small practical handmade or things that were more meaningful. Then when he mentioned that David was starting to talk creepy and act that way, I will have to be extra careful when I go anywhere, whether I have anyone with me or not. The whole thing just sucks.
I walked to my dresser picking up my laptop and brought it over to my bed, so I could be more comfortable while I did work from home and checked on who had sent the skype message. Of course it was a message from Maggs, but before I even had a chance to start the call with her, my cell phone began to ring in the one ringtone I never ever wanted to hear. ‘Burn’ by Papa Roach began playing loudly on my cell, the words a constant reminder of my former life and quite appropriate considering the feelings that I have towards my ex.
"Burn"
I didn't know you were a fake
Every lie straight to my face
So blind I could not see
Right behind my back you stabbed me
Should've know you were a bitch
Shut up you're making me sick
Little man you're nothing like me
Lying cheating so deceiving
I trusted you broke me down
And you screwed me over
Don't try to deny it
You cannot hide it
Ill be ignited
When I get to watch you burn
Burn Burn
I wanna watch you burn
Burn Burn
I wanna watch you burn
You're gonna get what you deserve
I wanna watch you burn
You turn me inside out
My world is upside down
You're not hurt are you happy now
Looking over your shoulder fucking me over
I trusted you sold me out
This is far from over
Don't try to deny it
You cannot hide it
Ill be ignited
When I get to watch you burn
Burn Burn
I wanna watch you burn
Burn Burn
I wanna watch you burn
Burn
I wanna watch you burn
You're gonna get what you deserve
You'll never learn
So, do I answer or not. Decisions, decisions. This may be the easiest one I have had to make lately... Not.
♠ ♠ ♠
New Chapter coming soon! :)