Set Fire to the Rain

My mind was drifting in and out of a state of consciousness quite a bit. I thought I heard a car stop on the side of the road somewhere, but it could have been a dream for all I know. In the recess of my mind, I heard a woman’s voice. It was the voice of an angel. She had a soft southern accent and I could hear her talking to someone somewhere, for a moment I thought she was talking to me, but I’m not entirely sure.

“Sweetheart, my name is Liz, and I am a trauma nurse. It looks like you were in a pretty bad accident here. Have you been drinking or taking any medication tonight?”

Cough, cough, cough. “No, drinking or medication. He ran me off the road” I whispered.

“What’s your name hun? Do you remember your name?” My angel asked me.

“Eliza”

“Eliza, you said someone ran you off the road. Who ran you off the road?”

“David” And I started to have a coughing fit with blood coming up on my hands. It really hurt to breathe and talk.

“Does it hurt anywhere Eliza? Are you in pain?”

“Everywhere. Talk, breathe, head, chest.” And everything went black, but I could still hear Liz in the background trying to rouse me, but god I was so tired and my eyes wouldn’t open.

Sirens began blaring in the distance, maybe an ambulance or it could have been the police. The police, maybe it was Jack. I needed my brother so badly. I wanted Shannon my beautiful Shannon. Where was everyone? I think my cell phone began to ring, there was so much noise, it was really hurting my head. I heard Liz talking to someone, I don’t know who. Then I heard more sirens. So much noise! Then another female voice showed up. She and Liz talked for a little while I think. I suddenly felt pain all over. Opening my eyes for a moment I saw firemen and paramedics surrounding me. One stood out to me, a woman with dark hair. She had the most beautiful, kind green eyes. She asked me questions but my I couldn’t get my mind to work, and before I knew it I was being pulled back into the dark again.

I don’t remember being moved from my car or the trip to the hospital. All I know is I began to wake to a constant beep, beep, beep somewhere nearby and opened my somewhat swollen eyes to look around the darkened room and I saw Jared, Shannon, Emma and a woman with blonde shoulder length hair that looked vaguely familiar, it must be Liz, my angel. Jared and Emma were sitting at a small table across the room with Liz. Shannon was sitting in a chair next to the bed, holding onto my hand looking at the floor, his face full of worry. Then my eyes began to pull back shut.

Sometime later I heard small bits of conversations going on around me, and none of them seemed very happy. So I just shut them all out and went back into quiet calm of the darkness. It was so much more peaceful there.

There was dampness on the top of one of my hands, and warm breaths. I could hear that familiar deep gravely, voice talking to me, I don’t know exactly what he was saying, but I heard him say something about making things right and his soft full lips kissed the back of my hand. I squeezed Shannon’s hand in response and he looked up at me with tear filled eyes. Upon seeing that my eyes were slightly open, a smile grew on his face and he leaned in and kissed my hand and arm over and over, being careful not to hurt me in any way, relief clearly flowing from his pores. I broke down in tears. I had missed him so much and had been so scared tonight that I may never see him again.

Shannon slowly stood up and leaned in to wrap his strong arms around me in a gentle hug, and I wrapped mine around him as best I could being hooked up to the IV’s, like I was. Though I honestly didn’t much care about that, all I wanted was him, so I pulled him in as tightly as I possibly could and I wasn’t going to let him go. He tried to gently pull away, but I wouldn’t let him. God his smell, the feel of this man, I needed him in my life so badly. After a moment’s hesitation, Shannon seemed to start holding me just a little more tightly, and that felt amazing. When we finally pulled away from each other he leaned in and kissed me in the gentlest way possible. I was pretty banged up from the accident, but this kiss was absolutely beautiful.

“God, I have missed you so much.” I said barely above a whisper as I raised a hand to draw my finger down along his jawline, as his eyes closed against my touch. I could have sworn I heard him moan. We had all but forgotten about the other people in the room and right now, I didn’t really care what they saw. I only cared about Shannon and being with the man I could have lost.

“Eliza.” He said, with a hint of sadness to his voice as he was reaching up and taking both of my hands in his then looking down at them. Something was wrong; I was getting a very bad feeling. He couldn’t even look at me now. “I can’t stay. I just wanted to stay until I was sure that you were safe, and to make sure you were going to be ok.”

Pulling my hands away from him, my stomach sank, and I suddenly wished I were dead, or that I had lost my memory in that damned car accident. He was walking away from me for good. “So I guess that’s it then. You don’t even want to be friends with me. You can’t even stand to be in the same room with me for more than 5 minutes when I am conscience huh? I thought you said you wanted to be in my life Shannon? Was that all a fucking lie?” I screeched out.

Everyone was now looking at us, Jared looked awful and poor Liz looked really awkward. Emma excused herself sweetly, stopping to hug me and telling me she would be back for a visit. Shannon just sat down across from me, staring at his hands now in his lap. Not saying a word.

“Eliza, I just can’t do this right now, please, just trust me. I really have to go.” He said sadly finally lifting his hazel eyes to look at me.

“Fine, go. Don’t let me stop you. You do what you need to do. It’s not like we are a couple or even friends anymore. You can do whatever it is you want to do.” Shannon sat on the hospital bed absolutely dumbfounded at my outburst. Then he turned to look at Jared and gave him one of the nastiest looks I have ever seen pass between the brothers. I didn’t think I would ever see the day that would happen. It was a look of pure anger. Then he looked back at me with pleading eyes for a few minutes almost begging me to change my mind. I was in no mood or shape for this right now. It had been a fucking awful night and this was the tip of the iceberg. “Just go Shannon. You said you had to leave, so leave. I’m not stopping you.” I said barely above a whisper as I tried desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

Shannon stood up from the bed, walked up to where my head was laying on the pillow, then leaned over, brushing my hair out of my face and kissed one of the many bandages that now covered my face. “I’m sorry. I really am. You have no idea how much this is killing me El. I hope one day you understand all of this, and can find it in your heart to forgive me.” Then he turned and looked at Jared and nudged his head towards the hallway and said, “Right fucking now, brother.” Shannon growled at Jared and stormed out into the hallway waiting for his little brother.

Jared slowly stood up and made his way out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him, and they stood there together and argued in hushed tones. Random people, Dr.’s and nurses walked by and tried to give them their privacy. Two grown men arguing in a hospital hallway was not something you could easily overlook. Shannon was very angry with Jared about something and Jared was trying to calm him down. This went on for almost 10 minutes. Eventually the younger brother wrapped his arms around a very reluctant older brother and just held him and whispered into his ear for a few minutes. Shannon seemed to relax a bit, nodding his head in agreement to whatever it was Jared said to him, finally hugging him back. They shook hands and Jared nodded his head towards my room and started to make his way back in. Shannon however, stood outside the hospital room window for a moment and we just looked at one another. He took one step closer to the window and placed his hand on the glass. I couldn’t do anything right now other than wipe away the tears that had started to fall. When he saw that, he gave me a sad smile and walked away, and I felt my heart break into a million shattered little pieces.