Set Fire to the Rain

Thankfully, for me, my son decided to start the night off by singing 'Blood on My Hands' by The Used, then he and his friends chose some more classic rock type songs.  I must say he can really sing, and I have no idea where he gets it from, because it wasn't me. He then did a couple songs with a few friends, and one with his band mates. Kym decided it was her turn to get up and do her own rendition of Closer by Nine Inch Nails. Wow... It was very entertaining, in a very Kym sort of way. Of course, Errik was hanging on every single move and word. It seemed like everyone was having a great time so far. JT was cuddling with Ari, and that made me smile, Mags was sitting on Evans lap;who was seated next to Tomo. He was single for the evening, as Vicki had been called away last minute. So Mags was busy telling him that out of all the guys in the band, he was her favorite, and Tomo was soaking it all in with a big goofy grin. Saying please tell me more. Priceless...  We had been in party mode for a few hours, and I had been really enjoying myself. Jack had even ventured onstage to do a song with both Mags and Jake.  They sang 'Stuck in The Middle With You' by Stealers Wheel. It's an older song that Jack and I used to sing together as kids all the time.  Jack made a point of dedicating it to me, of all people. I was so embarrassed, but it was really very nice.  Currently, Julie was on stage singing 'We Are The Champions' by Queen, and everyone was singing along with her. Ryan was sitting in his seat trying very hard not to laugh because she isn't a great singer to begin with, but she has that I just don't give a fuck attitude. So you can't help but love her. 

 When Julie had finished her song, everyone applauded. Jared stood up and placed a gentle kiss on Zoe's cheek, then whispered something into her ear. She nodded in response and looked at me with a shy smile. MJ stood up also, and she kissed Evan before following Jared onto the stage. Jared walked over to Chris and spoke into his ear, not even looking at the laptop. Chris nodded and looked through his list of songs then pressed whatever he needed to in order to start the system up. MJ and Jared stood next to one another Jared nudged her with his elbow and she stuck her tongue out at him. They had this planned obviously, and I had no doubt that whatever they performed would be different, to say the least. The moment the song started,  my jaw dropped open, and I sat in utter shock. I mean what do you say when two supposed adults start singing about animal sex?! Yep, this is what they chose, 'The Bad Touch' by The Box Gang. Everyone loved it obviously, especially with the two individuals who happened to be performing it. Only Jared and Mags could make it funnier than the original version. With hand and body motions to go with the facial expressions, you have no idea. We were all in tears from laughing so hard, it was a great release. Poor Evan didn't know what to do with himself , after that one. I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders then winked at him. He just busted up laughing along with the rest of us. I looked back up at the stage, and saw Mags and Jared look at each other, then look at me. MJ spoke into the microphone.

"There is one person here who has yet to make an appearance on this stage, and we think it's about time that she does. Mommy."

"No way, I already told y'all, I am not singing in front of anyone, here tonight, or ever. Forget it."

"Pleeeeeeaaaaaasse??????" She and Jared both wined in unison.

"Nope" I folded my arms over my chest to make my point.

"Mom, what if I asked you to do it for my birthday? As a special gift to me?" Jake was now yelling from a few tables over.

"Come on Ms. C! We want to hear you sing!" Came random shouts from around the room.

"Yeah, come on Eliza, it's your turn!" 

"Pretty please, with whipped cream and a cherry on top? Come on mom. It would mean the world to me." Jake was now stooped down next to me looking at me with pleading blue eyes, that he knows I can never say no to. 

"Ughh!! You suck! Fine, but know this, if I am permanently scarred from this, you will owe me forever." Jake knew I was full of shit, but he knew what I meant. I was scared shitless right now.

"So, is that a yes?" Be asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows, obviously already knowing the answer the question. I glared at him in answer and he continued on. "And I know, but thank you anyway." And he kissed me on the cheek. 

Then he stood up along with Jack who came over to help me up onto the stage. Chris wandered off and came back with a stool for me to sit on. Jake, Mags and Jack went back to their seats, Jack took my crutches with him, so I was essentially stuck no matter what happened now, but Jared stayed behind for a moment and said something to me.

"Relax El. Try to have some fun. You see all those people out there, they love you. Enjoy it." Giving me a quick hug, he jumped down from the stage, turned back and winked. Where that came from, I don't know. 

When I really looked around the room, I saw what I had just gotten myself into, and I instantly became a bundle of nerves. It seemed like there were people everywhere. And I do not do well in front of large crowds. It really wasn't my thing. Chris came over with the laptop and showed me the song list he had. Then asked if there was any song in particular that I would like to sing. I spoke one name before I had a moment to even think it over. I had been listening to it for days, and every time I heard it or thought about it, I was reminded of Shannon. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. But when I looked up, the song was already loaded, and Chris handed me the microphone, telling me I had the floor. From that point on, I was on autopilot.  

"I am not a great singer, so I apologize ahead of time. This is a song called 'Iris', and this is for Shannon. I wish you were here and that things were different." With that I took a deep breathe and started to sing.  I let all the feelings I had, the fear, the confusion, the hurt, and the love, pour from every part of me. 

"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken 
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken 
I just want you to know who I am"

Feeling my emotions starting to take over, I looked up, as I continued to sing, and glanced over the crowd, hoping for a little relief. I caught sight of a figure towards the entrance of the building over by the bar, leaning against the wall. He seemed vaguely familiar to me. Then the man started to make his way around the corner from where he'd been, and  walked around and through the tables towards the stage in slow easy strides. Once he was visible to me, my eyes locked with his, I knew his face, I knew his stance, I knew his easy smile, I knew the eyes that were locked on my own. Though, I think I knew it was him, from the moment I spotted him in the shadows. I was suddenly very aware of the fact that I was barely singing anymore, and I now had tears falling freely down my face. Shannon was now standing before me on the floor, but he jumped up on stage to stand in front of me.  No longer able to sing or say a single word at all, I gazed up into Shannon's concerned eyes. Placing his right hand on my cheek he used his thumb to wipe away the tears that had fallen. My heart was in my throat, and hammering from my chest. The song played out in the background, as we looked at each other. 

"I don't understand. What? Where?" I whispered out in a strangled voice.

Then he leaned in and whispered in my ear "Shhhh, sweetheart. I promise we will talk. I loved your song choice by the way." He said standing in front of me, talking as if we were the only two people in the room.  "I still say, you have a beautiful voice. And sometimes wishes do come true." Then he kissed my forehead.  I giggled and rolled my eyes at him. 

Chris walked over, I handed the microphone to him and looked for anyone who would be willing to help me off this godforsaken stage. Jack and Shannon both helped me down and back over to my seat with a very large round of applause. Very uncalled for. Especially since I didn't even finish, and I ended up a sad sappy mess at the end. I really wanted to find out why he had changed his mind and shown up, and find out what exactly was going on. I have never been so confused in all my life, but yet so fucking happy he is here. I turned to ask Shannon all the questions that I had swirling around in my head, but he was gone! What the fuck!? No! He couldn't have left so soon. I turned to talk to Jared, and he was MIA too. I looked to Zoe to ask her where Jared was and if she had seen where Shannon had wandered off too, but she was gone. What the hell was going on here? 

"May I have your attention please? We have a special request going out to one of our guests tonight. Ms. Eliza Cahrter. I will now hand this over to the gentleman in charge for the time being." The stage was dark, so you couldn't see what was happening, or who was up there, but I had my suspicions. When the spot lights were turned on, I was in shock. There sat Tomo, Jared, and Shannon. Each of them on stools, and each of them held an acoustic  guitar. The thing I noticed immediately, was that it wasn't Jared that sat in front of the microphone. It was Shannon. Jared and Tomo sat behind him. 

Shannon cleared his throat, and after adjusting the mic stand once more, he looked up, searching until he found my face, and smiled. "I can't imagine what you must have thought of me this past week. The fact that I left you when you needed me most. I only hope that you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance and maybe even forgive me. This is for you sweetheart. One, two, three, four..." He counted out the beats and the three of them started playing the most beautiful song. It's one of my favorites, 'Falling Slowly' by Glen Hansard. 

'I don't know you 
But I want you 
All the more for that 
Words fall through me 
And always fool me 
And I can't react 
And games that never amount 
To more than they're meant 
Will play themselves out 

Take this sinking boat and point it home 
We've still got time 
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice 
You've made it now 

As Shannon sang and played lead guitar, Jared actually sang some back up vocals for the song. The whole thing was beautiful. I found myself getting to my feet and on my crutches, I made my way to stand in front of the guys. Never once breaking eye contact with my beautiful drummer. This song spoke volumes to me, and I just stood there and listened.

Falling slowly, eyes that know me 
And I can't go back 
Moods that take me and erase me 
And I'm painted black 
You have suffered enough 
And warred with yourself 
It's time that you won 

Take this sinking boat and point it home 
We've still got time 
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice 
You've made it now 

Falling slowly sing your melody 
I'll sing along'

After the crowd had quieted down some, Shannon thanked the party guests for allowing him this small liberty, though I am sure that no one is complaining about this very rare show by him. It was beautiful, and it's a shame that Shannon doesn't sing in public more often, because he has an incredible voice. He just sang a very meaningful song, that basically said everything I have been wanting to hear from him for what felt like weeks, but am I ready to find out if he is willing to go there with me? As he placed his guitar in its case, and started to walk to me, I suppose there is only one way to find out...