Everything We Had

We were in our kitchen screaming at each other.

I was standing by the door way yelling and you were by the cupboards, throwing all of their contents onto the floor.

"William!" I screamed.

I hated fighting with you, but we always fought anyway. We couldn't go an hour without fighting or even a day. Hell, I don't we've ever gone a week without yelling at each other. I'm amazed we've stayed together this long.

Two years, two months, and twenty-two days.

I find that ironic since I'm also twenty-two years old.

But I'm getting off subject, aren't I?

You dropped the glass you were holding onto the floor and turned around to look at me. And for a second there was love in your eyes, but that love turned to hate so fast that it made my heart hurt.

You used to always look at me with that love in your eyes. As of late it's all been hate.

I wanted to tell you that I still loved you, but instead I said, "Will you fucking stop making a bigger mess?"

You glared and then pushed past me as if I was nothing.

Out in the living room I found you throwing over a lamp. The lamp wasn't special to you, but it was to me. It was the first lamp we ever bought together. The glass on the lamp broke into thousands of pieces, like my heart did, as it hit the ground.

Next you walked over to a desk where we kept pictures of us and pushed all of them onto the ground. One by one the frames broke and shattered. I wanted to scream and cry, but instead I reached down to pick up a picture of us. I cut my finger on the glass around the picture, but I didn't care.

I stared down at the picture, we had been so happy then. I wanted to know what happened to us.

You were making your way upstairs now, probably to destroy our room and the rest of our belongings, our memories.

I wasn't going to stop you though.

After an hour of listening to you throw things around upstairs I went up there to tell you to stop. You had had your fun ruining everything we had and I wanted you to stop.

I found you sitting on our bed with your head down.

You looked up and then back down

At first I thought you were crying, but no, you were writing.

"William," I whispered, "we're over."

You looked back up at me and nodded, "I know"

I knew you wouldn't be shocked. We had both been prepared for this for so long. Neither of us wanted to be the one to do it though, but I always knew it would come down to me doing it.

"I'll be out of here by morning," you said and then got up.

As you passed me in the door way you paused for a second as if you were going to say something, but you kept going in the end.

I awoke to the sound of you tripping. There was a thud, a crash, and then a, "Shit."

I glanced up and saw the outline of your body in the darkness of our room. I didn't know why you were in here. After the fight we had last night I just wanted you to leave and I knew that you would, like you said you would.

"William?" I said.

"Sorry.. I woke you," you mumbled, "I just wanted to grab my jacket."

Of course! He wanted his beautiful leather jacket. The one I had bought for him.

"It's fine."

I rolled over so I could watch you go into our closet and get it.

As much as you had hurt me, I didn't want you to go.

I didn't want to wake up in the morning and find you gone, but I knew I would.

I also knew that when I went down stairs tomorrow that the mess would be cleaned up. Because that's just how you do things.

"Bye," you whispered as you shut the door.

I closed my eyes to keep back the tears. There was no way I was going to cry for this.

When I went downstairs I found you gone and the house cleaned. Just like I knew I would.
I wasn't expecting to find a note lying where our pictures should have been. The pictures where in a neat pile and the note was on top of them.

The note wasn't exactly a note either.

It was a song.

A song you wrote for me.

- - - - -

You were the only face I'd ever known
I was the light from the lamp on the floor
And only as bright as you wanted me to be
But, I am no gentleman, I can be a prick
And I do regret more than I admit
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist

Everything we had, everything we had
Everything we had, everything we had
Is no longer there

It was the only place I'd never known
Turned off the light on my way out the door
I will be watching wherever you go
through the eyes of a fly on the wall
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist

Everything we had, everything we had

Everything we had, everything we had
Is no longer there, longer there

You saw for yourself, the way it played out
For you, I am blinded
For you, I am blinded, for you

I am no gentleman, I can be a prick
And I do regret more than I admit
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist

Everything we had, everything we had
(You have been followed, you have been followed)
Everything we had, everything we had
(You have been followed, you have been followed)
Everything we had, everything we had
(You have been followed, you have been followed)
Everything we had...

I'll be with you wherever you go
through the eyes of a fly on the wall

- - - - -

I sat the lyrics back down where I had found them and with tears in my eyes I sat down on the couch. The same couch where we had talked about our future. The future we'll never have.

I heard a small buzz and then glanced up to see a fly on the wall.

And I couldn't help but to think of you.