Everything's On Fire
oh the tumbling reservations at the heart of my mistakes
Three years earlier; June 3rd, 2010
"Lor! Come 'ere!" my long time friend Drew said, waving me over to the beer pong table he was at. I smiled at the person I was talking to, whose name had slipped my mind and I walked off with my crown and coke drink to the table. "John needs a partner, Halvo ditched him for some chick. What do ya say?"
Shrugging, I nodded and went to the opposite side of the table to the person there I hadn't known. He offered me a smile and I couldn't help but giggle at how quirky he looked with his long hair and cheesy grin.
As John set up the cups, I grabbed two Coors to pour in the cups. "John, this is Lorainne Dawson, my best friend. Lor, this is John O'Callaghan. He's in that band with JF... shit, I mean Kennedy."
"You know Kennedy?" John asked, calling mine and Drew's friend by the name he recently changed it to, which still I always forgot about.
With a smile, I shrugged. "Yeah, we kind of knew each other."
Drew laughed with Loren Brinton next to him, who also laughed a little. "Oh please, they dated three years."
"Alright Dawson, you any good at beer pong?"
When I shrugged and said I was alright, Drew laughed again. To figure out who would go first, John and Loren did eye to eye and they both made it. They did it again and only John it made that time, giving us the balls first. John shot and he missed, which made Drew and Loren high five. I smirked across the table at Drew and shot my ball, making it in the front cup. Loren pulled the cup and down the beer quickly.
Only Drew made the cup on their turn and John and I got our balls. Both of us made it, so we got balls back and we high fived as I looked at my opponents. "Heating up!" I called. John shot first again and then I shot, making the back right cup. "Oh, what was that, Drew? Was that fire?"
He flipped me off and Loren rolled his eyes. "Why the fuck would you have Lor be John O's partner, D? You know how good she is."
They threw me one ball back for my fire shot and I made it again, smirking. They threw it back to me one more time, but I missed it, frowning. John patted my back, saying it was alright. Drew missed his shot and Loren made it.
The game continued and John and I ended up winning. We won the next three games before Drew and Loren called for a rematch.
"Ready to lose again, Andrew?" I asked, smiling sweetly.
Next to me, John laughed. "Damn girl, I'm so happy to have you as my partner. You're a champ."
I shrugged. "What can I say? I have three brothers and they're older than me, so when they would play, and I sucked, the brother that got stuck with me on the team would torment me if I lost, and I eventually got amazing at it."
Throughout the next couple games, John and I continued to win. As more beer got in my system, along with my multiple crown and coke's that I was drinking, I found myself more touchy-feely with John. His hands would graze over my back and my behind while I could touch his arm and chest often.
There were several girls around us, that were obviously trying to make us lose so they could flirt with John, and it was even more obvious that they didn't like me.
We were fifteen games deep when John and I were both sick of playing. Instead of aiming, we would either throw the ball really far or just roll it across the table. When we lost, everyone was happy we were off the table and we just laughed it off.
The two of us went to smoke a cigarette together out back. There were a couple people smoking weed out there, so we went further from them.
"This is probably a little weird, but you're gorgeous, Lorainne," John told me.
Furrowing my eyebrows, I let out the smoke from my lungs. "Why is it weird? It's very sweet of you, John. Thank you."
He took a puff and let out the smoke. "Because I'm... me. I'm awkward and not that attractive."
"You're insane, John, did you not see all those girls fawning over you in there?"
John shook his head and looked down at me. With his left hand, he set his beer down and used his now free hand to cup my cheek. I looked at him through my eyelashes and smiled. His hand guided my face up and just like that, he kissed me. Plain and simple. He didn't force his tongue down my throat or try to cop a feel or anything. Just a simple kiss and I loved it.
He stepped back and took a final drag of his cigarette before putting it out. I did the same with mine right after. Instead of going back inside, we stood in silence. I leaned against John and he wrapped his arm around my waist.
"I'm pretty tired," I murmured softly.
"Did uh... did you wanna maybe go back to my place?" he asked.
With a smile I nodded and stepped away from him. "Yeah, that'd be nice."
~
I wasn't sure how we'd gotten here. One second we were to his door and the next he had me pinned against the wall, his lips on mine. We moved slowly through the house, mostly because we were too occupied with the other.
Before I knew it, we were in his bed, very little clothing left and we were moving way too fast.
"John, I...," I stopped, not sure how to say what I was going to say next.
Looking down at me, it was like he knew. His eyes understood and he nodded. "You've never done this before." I nodded back at him, slightly embarrassed. "Okay... it's okay." He leaned back and ran his hand through his hair. He let out a deep breath.
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's fine, Lorainne. You have nothing to be sorry for. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin."
Biting my lip, I shut my eyes and let out a deep breath with John. He lied down next to me and pulled me next to him. "I can go if you want..."
"What?" he asked, looking at me with a confused look. "No, I don't want you to leave."
"But we aren't-"
He cut me off and I could tell I had slightly offended him. "I didn't bring you here just to have sex with you, if that's what you think. I just wanted to spend time with you."
So we spent the night together. We stayed up all night, talking about anything and everything. It was nice and it was in that night, that I realized my life would never be the same. Whether I liked it or not, I was too far in over my head for John O'Callaghan.
"Lor! Come 'ere!" my long time friend Drew said, waving me over to the beer pong table he was at. I smiled at the person I was talking to, whose name had slipped my mind and I walked off with my crown and coke drink to the table. "John needs a partner, Halvo ditched him for some chick. What do ya say?"
Shrugging, I nodded and went to the opposite side of the table to the person there I hadn't known. He offered me a smile and I couldn't help but giggle at how quirky he looked with his long hair and cheesy grin.
As John set up the cups, I grabbed two Coors to pour in the cups. "John, this is Lorainne Dawson, my best friend. Lor, this is John O'Callaghan. He's in that band with JF... shit, I mean Kennedy."
"You know Kennedy?" John asked, calling mine and Drew's friend by the name he recently changed it to, which still I always forgot about.
With a smile, I shrugged. "Yeah, we kind of knew each other."
Drew laughed with Loren Brinton next to him, who also laughed a little. "Oh please, they dated three years."
"Alright Dawson, you any good at beer pong?"
When I shrugged and said I was alright, Drew laughed again. To figure out who would go first, John and Loren did eye to eye and they both made it. They did it again and only John it made that time, giving us the balls first. John shot and he missed, which made Drew and Loren high five. I smirked across the table at Drew and shot my ball, making it in the front cup. Loren pulled the cup and down the beer quickly.
Only Drew made the cup on their turn and John and I got our balls. Both of us made it, so we got balls back and we high fived as I looked at my opponents. "Heating up!" I called. John shot first again and then I shot, making the back right cup. "Oh, what was that, Drew? Was that fire?"
He flipped me off and Loren rolled his eyes. "Why the fuck would you have Lor be John O's partner, D? You know how good she is."
They threw me one ball back for my fire shot and I made it again, smirking. They threw it back to me one more time, but I missed it, frowning. John patted my back, saying it was alright. Drew missed his shot and Loren made it.
The game continued and John and I ended up winning. We won the next three games before Drew and Loren called for a rematch.
"Ready to lose again, Andrew?" I asked, smiling sweetly.
Next to me, John laughed. "Damn girl, I'm so happy to have you as my partner. You're a champ."
I shrugged. "What can I say? I have three brothers and they're older than me, so when they would play, and I sucked, the brother that got stuck with me on the team would torment me if I lost, and I eventually got amazing at it."
Throughout the next couple games, John and I continued to win. As more beer got in my system, along with my multiple crown and coke's that I was drinking, I found myself more touchy-feely with John. His hands would graze over my back and my behind while I could touch his arm and chest often.
There were several girls around us, that were obviously trying to make us lose so they could flirt with John, and it was even more obvious that they didn't like me.
We were fifteen games deep when John and I were both sick of playing. Instead of aiming, we would either throw the ball really far or just roll it across the table. When we lost, everyone was happy we were off the table and we just laughed it off.
The two of us went to smoke a cigarette together out back. There were a couple people smoking weed out there, so we went further from them.
"This is probably a little weird, but you're gorgeous, Lorainne," John told me.
Furrowing my eyebrows, I let out the smoke from my lungs. "Why is it weird? It's very sweet of you, John. Thank you."
He took a puff and let out the smoke. "Because I'm... me. I'm awkward and not that attractive."
"You're insane, John, did you not see all those girls fawning over you in there?"
John shook his head and looked down at me. With his left hand, he set his beer down and used his now free hand to cup my cheek. I looked at him through my eyelashes and smiled. His hand guided my face up and just like that, he kissed me. Plain and simple. He didn't force his tongue down my throat or try to cop a feel or anything. Just a simple kiss and I loved it.
He stepped back and took a final drag of his cigarette before putting it out. I did the same with mine right after. Instead of going back inside, we stood in silence. I leaned against John and he wrapped his arm around my waist.
"I'm pretty tired," I murmured softly.
"Did uh... did you wanna maybe go back to my place?" he asked.
With a smile I nodded and stepped away from him. "Yeah, that'd be nice."
~
I wasn't sure how we'd gotten here. One second we were to his door and the next he had me pinned against the wall, his lips on mine. We moved slowly through the house, mostly because we were too occupied with the other.
Before I knew it, we were in his bed, very little clothing left and we were moving way too fast.
"John, I...," I stopped, not sure how to say what I was going to say next.
Looking down at me, it was like he knew. His eyes understood and he nodded. "You've never done this before." I nodded back at him, slightly embarrassed. "Okay... it's okay." He leaned back and ran his hand through his hair. He let out a deep breath.
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's fine, Lorainne. You have nothing to be sorry for. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin."
Biting my lip, I shut my eyes and let out a deep breath with John. He lied down next to me and pulled me next to him. "I can go if you want..."
"What?" he asked, looking at me with a confused look. "No, I don't want you to leave."
"But we aren't-"
He cut me off and I could tell I had slightly offended him. "I didn't bring you here just to have sex with you, if that's what you think. I just wanted to spend time with you."
So we spent the night together. We stayed up all night, talking about anything and everything. It was nice and it was in that night, that I realized my life would never be the same. Whether I liked it or not, I was too far in over my head for John O'Callaghan.