Whenever...
A Start To The Year
I'm running.... I don't know where to, but I'm gliding silently across the cold tiles... It is the dead of night and from the moonlight I can see I'm in a corridor, a never ending corridor which seems familiar in some way but which one cannot comprehend why. Suddenly the urge to run increases. And so I let it be. I can almost feel myself flying, my dainty feet barely touching the ground.. Oh how thrilling this is! Being in motion like this! I wish this could last forever...But then I saw him... He was walking slowly.. as if mourning the loss of a loved one. But how could it be? I am the one he loves. His family can't have been hurt.. harmed? DEAD? NO! They have to be alright!
'Scott!' I call out.
He doesn't answer. Still, my speed increases as the adrenelin rush reacts to my anxiety.
'Scott, wait! Whats the matter?' Slowly, He turns around but he doesn't recognise me. Its as if he's seeing right through me, as if i was an apparition, not really there.. A chill starts to creep up my back as i realise something is wrong... very very wrong. was I dead? No I couldn't be... I was still pondering what all this was about... why I couldn't get through to him when it happened. It was so out of the blue and so loud, frightening I was just horror-struck. Frozen in time, unable to do anything. My scream was silent as the ceiling of the corridor began to collapse.
Only after the last dust settled did I make a sound. I dropped to my knees... out of exhaustion and just the tiniest flicker of hope. Frantically I tried to dig through the mess using my bare hands. I couldn't have cared less about the pain... Scott was everything which mattered now... I just had to get him out!
'scott.... scott... where are you? please answer me' I sob as drops of my tears are added to the waste.......
Gasping, I wake up stunned. Eventually, I managed to get my breathing level back to normal before the tears and memories began to flow out of nowhere. Random Memories flooding all at once... of the dream. of last year. of last nights txt. He wanted to talk to me... what on earth could it be about? At last the Sun's rays signified my time to get up. My turn to pull myself together so I could get this horrid day over and done with.
I made my lunch still thinking about the dream wondering what on earth it all meant. Surely it was just a coincidence he wanted to talk to me?! I was halfway through packing my bag when a knock at the door brought be back to my senses. I opened it, and seeing her,enveloped Stacey in a warm hug.
'Omg thank god you're here!' i gushed 'I haven't seen you in ages!'
'oh whatever Hel!' she shot back happily.
laughing, I made her sit down while i finished packing my bag. Soon we decided to head off to find out who exactly were in out classes.
Even tho it was only 8 in the morning. The school was crawling with people. students of all ages wanting to know which rooms they were in, who they were with. I barely noticed all the new people being introduced to me. I needed to talk to Scott. and yet I felt like avoiding him, but that was stupid. I hadn't seen him for 3 months! Of course I wanted to say hi.. to give him a huge hug and say how much i'd missed him. Still... i knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. Otherwise he would have been more happier. His gorgeous smile should have been the first thing I saw but instead.. today... a day of new beginnings. it was replaced with a frown i couldn't quite understand.
Might as well get it over and done with, I shrugged.
Seeing him walk by... i causually called out to him. I still couldn't believe how people could dump someone like practically a week after they'd been going out?! How would you know they're not for you if you'd barely given them a chance? I mean... after 6 months, I still loved everything about Scott. From the way he smiled to the way he'd naturally shake the hair from his eyes, it was just so.... Scott-like.
'Hey! How were your holidays? Did you have fun in Sydney?' I asked casually.
'Oh um Hi.' he replied. 'They were ok.' No smile. No hug... this cannot be good. He was obviously preoccupied so I decided to get straight to the point.
'So... what'd you wanna talk about?'
'Oh um..' 'Well.. Helen.. I don't know how to say this.'
I swear.. My heart was about to pounce out of my chest. This is sooo not good.
'Go on..' I urged him... knowing exactly what he was going to say
'I-just-don't-think-we-should-b
e-going-out-anymore-thats-all'
I tell you, from the way he practically spat it out, because of his nervousness probably... It literally took me a minute to work out what he'd said. But still, the silence hung in the air... a deadly silence.
'can I ask why?' I replied in a tiny, tiny voice.
He never answered. But I knew he'd heard from the way his ears turned bright red. I knew he was delibereatley ignoring the question. But I had no idea why he did it. It couldnt be dare. He was never ever a jerk. As I walked back to my 'group' of friends. I couldn't help thinking.. why? It just didn't make sense!!!!!! When the bell rang, I slowly followed Scott to our form class. I couldn't even look him in the eye. How was I supposed to survive a whole year with him? When at last our teacher arrived.. quite a strict one I might add... She told us to sit where we wanted. WONDERFUL I now offically had no friends whatsoever in this class. It would have been better if we'd been given a seating plan! Reluctuntly... I plonked myself in the middle of the classroom so that the whole class surrounded me. People were already staring at me anyway, wondering why Scott wasn't sitting next to me... I was just about to get out my books when a pigeon.. yes a PIGEON decided to fly in and what utter chaos it caused! It kept flying right into walls and I have no idea how... but ended up pooping on my Brand new IS1 book. Irritated... I ran into the toilets in search of Toilet paper... practically in tears. I didn't want to go back, I needed time to be alone. What a great start to the year..... seriously.
'Scott!' I call out.
He doesn't answer. Still, my speed increases as the adrenelin rush reacts to my anxiety.
'Scott, wait! Whats the matter?' Slowly, He turns around but he doesn't recognise me. Its as if he's seeing right through me, as if i was an apparition, not really there.. A chill starts to creep up my back as i realise something is wrong... very very wrong. was I dead? No I couldn't be... I was still pondering what all this was about... why I couldn't get through to him when it happened. It was so out of the blue and so loud, frightening I was just horror-struck. Frozen in time, unable to do anything. My scream was silent as the ceiling of the corridor began to collapse.
Only after the last dust settled did I make a sound. I dropped to my knees... out of exhaustion and just the tiniest flicker of hope. Frantically I tried to dig through the mess using my bare hands. I couldn't have cared less about the pain... Scott was everything which mattered now... I just had to get him out!
'scott.... scott... where are you? please answer me' I sob as drops of my tears are added to the waste.......
Gasping, I wake up stunned. Eventually, I managed to get my breathing level back to normal before the tears and memories began to flow out of nowhere. Random Memories flooding all at once... of the dream. of last year. of last nights txt. He wanted to talk to me... what on earth could it be about? At last the Sun's rays signified my time to get up. My turn to pull myself together so I could get this horrid day over and done with.
I made my lunch still thinking about the dream wondering what on earth it all meant. Surely it was just a coincidence he wanted to talk to me?! I was halfway through packing my bag when a knock at the door brought be back to my senses. I opened it, and seeing her,enveloped Stacey in a warm hug.
'Omg thank god you're here!' i gushed 'I haven't seen you in ages!'
'oh whatever Hel!' she shot back happily.
laughing, I made her sit down while i finished packing my bag. Soon we decided to head off to find out who exactly were in out classes.
Even tho it was only 8 in the morning. The school was crawling with people. students of all ages wanting to know which rooms they were in, who they were with. I barely noticed all the new people being introduced to me. I needed to talk to Scott. and yet I felt like avoiding him, but that was stupid. I hadn't seen him for 3 months! Of course I wanted to say hi.. to give him a huge hug and say how much i'd missed him. Still... i knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. Otherwise he would have been more happier. His gorgeous smile should have been the first thing I saw but instead.. today... a day of new beginnings. it was replaced with a frown i couldn't quite understand.
Might as well get it over and done with, I shrugged.
Seeing him walk by... i causually called out to him. I still couldn't believe how people could dump someone like practically a week after they'd been going out?! How would you know they're not for you if you'd barely given them a chance? I mean... after 6 months, I still loved everything about Scott. From the way he smiled to the way he'd naturally shake the hair from his eyes, it was just so.... Scott-like.
'Hey! How were your holidays? Did you have fun in Sydney?' I asked casually.
'Oh um Hi.' he replied. 'They were ok.' No smile. No hug... this cannot be good. He was obviously preoccupied so I decided to get straight to the point.
'So... what'd you wanna talk about?'
'Oh um..' 'Well.. Helen.. I don't know how to say this.'
I swear.. My heart was about to pounce out of my chest. This is sooo not good.
'Go on..' I urged him... knowing exactly what he was going to say
'I-just-don't-think-we-should-b
e-going-out-anymore-thats-all'
I tell you, from the way he practically spat it out, because of his nervousness probably... It literally took me a minute to work out what he'd said. But still, the silence hung in the air... a deadly silence.
'can I ask why?' I replied in a tiny, tiny voice.
He never answered. But I knew he'd heard from the way his ears turned bright red. I knew he was delibereatley ignoring the question. But I had no idea why he did it. It couldnt be dare. He was never ever a jerk. As I walked back to my 'group' of friends. I couldn't help thinking.. why? It just didn't make sense!!!!!! When the bell rang, I slowly followed Scott to our form class. I couldn't even look him in the eye. How was I supposed to survive a whole year with him? When at last our teacher arrived.. quite a strict one I might add... She told us to sit where we wanted. WONDERFUL I now offically had no friends whatsoever in this class. It would have been better if we'd been given a seating plan! Reluctuntly... I plonked myself in the middle of the classroom so that the whole class surrounded me. People were already staring at me anyway, wondering why Scott wasn't sitting next to me... I was just about to get out my books when a pigeon.. yes a PIGEON decided to fly in and what utter chaos it caused! It kept flying right into walls and I have no idea how... but ended up pooping on my Brand new IS1 book. Irritated... I ran into the toilets in search of Toilet paper... practically in tears. I didn't want to go back, I needed time to be alone. What a great start to the year..... seriously.