Downpour

I rubbed my temples and walked around my room, trying not to break down and cry. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. What would my parents say? What would Rain say? Tayden? He was sure to be the most affected by this.

And Isaac, poor Isaac. Who had been so sweet to me through everything? There was no way that I could continue seeing him now though. And when Rain suggested I invite him to go camping with us, I wanted to scream. I couldn’t invite him to come with us then break up with him after.

Because the fact of the matter was, that little stick had told me something that stuck in the front of my mind. It had given me two lines: pregnant.

The baby was Tayden’s, there was no doubt in my mind about that. But how he’d react to me confirming his suspicions, or how Rain would react when finding out, was what bugged me the most. Not the fact that there might possibly be life inside of me right now. I was definitely going to go to the women’s clinic and have them make sure my suspicions were correct. And I knew the perfect time to do it.

Rain had a doctor’s appointment Wednesday, and I’m pretty sure Tayden was going to be bringing her. So that left the house open, and me with enough time to go and come back without them asking around to where I’d been. I sat on my bed and picked at my nails.

How was I ever going to tell either of them this? And how was I going to tell Rain who the father was. Keeping this big of a secret from her wouldn’t last more than a couple of months. But Tayden and I had made a pact to not tell Rain of our…adventures.

Sleeping together was one thing, one thing entirely different than her cousin getting me pregnant. I knew for a fact I’d have to tell Tayden before Rain. I’d have to ask his point of view on things, or what exactly to tell my best friend.

I felt like breaking down and crying one minute, and then I was furious at Tayden for doing this to me. Hadn’t he worn a condom? I didn’t remember seeing one in the garbage the next day when I took them out, or on the floor anywhere in my room. Or better yet, couldn’t he keep his thing in his pants? I wondered about all the other girls he’d slept with.

Did he not use a condom with them either? Was he walking around with a disease? And was I going to get it? I ran my fingers through my hair, shaking out the blonde mess of curls.

I needed to go for a run. My head was spinning in circles, and being cooped up in a house with the one person I couldn’t talk to about all this just yet, and the one person that had gotten me into this mess was not helping.



I groaned and flung the back door open, going up to the fridge and getting out a bottle of water. I’d just ran about three feet, then walked the rest of the way. The sun had been extremely hot so I was sweating and thirsty for water even if I hadn’t been doing strenuous exercise.

I felt as if I’d just taken a shower with my clothes on. Even my sneakers were soaked, and I hadn’t gone near the water.

Tayden walked in the kitchen and stopped when he saw me, “Did you fall in the water?” He laughed, lightening the mood a bit.

“No it’s like a freaking sauna out there. I was just walking, too.” He raised his eyebrow and peered out our back door. I was starting to wonder when he was going to go back to his own place. Rain had been well for a good few days now, and wasn’t showing any discomfort.

“Oh. So look Baylin, did you-?” Rain’s voice rang out, notifying us she was coming before she was in our sight.

“Tayden! Baylin! I’ve printed out a map of our drive. It should take us a total of two hours and forty-seven minutes.” She beamed between the both of us.

“That’s not two hours, Rain. That’s more like three.” I said putting my now empty bottle in the sink for me to watch. I’d grown up a good quantity of them in a container next to the fridge. Rain had cornered me and told me we were wasting too many bottles. So I decided to save them for her so she could bring them to the recycle place. It was that, or when we needed a bottle they were there and clean.

“So? So I called Patrick and he said he was going to come. Did you call Isaac yet?” My stomach dropped as she said his name and I instinctively glanced towards Tayden to see his reaction. His back was to me, so I didn’t see if he even cared we were talking about Isaac again. “What about you Tayden? Are you calling Allie? Or some other hot chick to get it on with?” she thrust her hips forward, humping the air. I covered my face and looked away trying to conceal my laughter.

“I’m not bringing Isaac. I think I’m going to dump him actually…” I trailed off, staring between the two of them outside the window. Watching a family play in the water together, the mother running after her son. I suddenly put my hand on my stomach then moved it and looked down.

“What the hell? I thought you two were hitting it off pretty good…He’s been over non-stop since you brought him here that first night.” I cleared my throat and noticed Tayden looked tense.

“It just doesn’t…it’s not gonna work out.” I said walking over to the pantry and opening it, looking for a granola bar.

“…Was he that bad in bed?” I froze turning around.

“What? No. That’s not what I…We never slept together.” It looked as if Tayden let out a deep breath then he turned to face me, a light smile present on his face.

“You never slept with him? What the hell were you doing in your bedroom with him every night then? Oh my God, is he gay?” I snorted and shook my head.

“We watched movies, talked. He’ll be a nice friend. I just don’t think of him like that really.” I looked at Tayden, the way he was suddenly a bit happier than before. He walked over to Rain and threw his arm over her shoulder.

“I’m not inviting Allie. Or any other girl. I’ll just hang out with Baylin, you know keep her from being the….fifth wheel.” Rain smiled and hugged him.

“You’re so sweet Tayden. Isn’t he just so sweet?” she asked me, her eyes lighting up to make her look even more beautiful than ever.

“Yeah…” I trailed off, realizing what this meant. I suddenly wondered if maybe I should have decided to bring Isaac along and then break up with him after. Because now, I was going to have to spend the whole trip with either a couple, alone, or Tayden. The latter of the three frightened me the most.



Stepping into the building I suddenly felt weird for being here alone. Most of the ladies with bellies had either a friend, their mothers, or the guy the baby was for with them. But me? I was alone.

I wrote my name down on the sign in sheet and sat down, looking at all the different sizes of the women. I looked down at my still flat tummy, wondering if I’d ever be this small again. There was no way in hell I was aborting it, which meant I’d get to have a giant belly, cravings, the whole nine yards.

Even if I was for abortion, Rain wasn’t. She was the type that thought if it had a heartbeat, it was alive. And on this subject, I agreed fully with her. Adoption was still an option though, but before I made a huge decision like that I needed to talk to Tayden. I couldn’t just decide for myself. This child was going to be half his, which meant he got a say in it too. He was another reason I couldn’t just abort it.

I couldn’t just tell him he might have a child, then get rid of it like that. Women who did that seemed heartless to me. I’d stick with adoption or possibly keeping the child. My thoughts were suddenly broke when my name was called.

I looked around nervously, watching the other women look at how young I was, and how tiny still. I followed the nurse to the room and she told me to slip in to one of the gowns on the bed. I did as I was told and sat there waiting impatiently. I wanted this to be over with. I wanted to know truthfully if my fate was already set.

I felt weird sitting in a room by myself in nothing but a light gown. The room was sparkly white, almost a little too white. It was small too, only containing a bed, a chair, and a sink with cabinets under, and above. It was chilly, so sitting there in next to nothing was making me have goose bumps all over.

The door opened and the women walked in, smiling at me brightly. “Hi, I’m doctor Mathers. I’ll be your doctor today. Expecting?” she smiled and as if it were contagious I smiled too. A nurse walked in a smiled brightly at me as well. I wonder if they smiled like that to patients who were going to get their children aborted. I hoped not.

“I took a test…it came out positive. I’ve been throwing up a lot and I missed my period. I’ve also been extra moody. I’m just here to confirm what I most likely already know.” I looked down, fiddling with the edge of the gown.

“Well let’s check you out and see if your test was right.” I nodded before letting her perform tests. She made me give some blood, and pee in a cup, then return to the room. I was sitting there quietly when she walked in, smiling just as brightly as before. Oh, no.

“Good news Miss Peters. You are in fact pregnant. Congratulations, first child?” I nodded my head numbly, my face probably emotionless. So it was true. I was pregnant. “Do you know who the father is? Because he is allowed at your doctor’s visits.”

I nodded. “I know who he is. And yes, first child.” She eyed me, then put a hand on my own.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you, not just as your doctor. But as a friend, someone who honestly cares if you’re okay. Mentally and physically. I can see you’re quite young. Eighteen if I’m correct?”

“Nineteen.” I corrected her, giving a light smile.

“Do you plan on continuing to come here? Or do you have a doctor you’d like to continue seeing after this? It would be no problem at all to transfer your files.” I shook my head.

“I’m going to stay here.” She smiled and patted my hand before rolling away on her chair.

“Okay good, now I’ll just go through and explain a few things about things. If you don’t understand something please feel free to interrupt to ask questions. And if you have any questions at all I’m here to answer them. Okay?” I nodded at the genuinely nice woman in front of me.

I nodded and listened as she rambled off, telling me to go to the store and start taking prenatal vitamins as soon as possible. She listed off a few other things then asked me a question that almost made me cry.

“Will your boyfriend be accompanying you on your next visit? I’m excited to meet the lucky guy.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. I-I don’t have a boyfriend. And he doesn’t know. I wanted to be positive before I told him anything.” She nodded and patted my shoulder.

“Showing up by yourself shows a lot about you already Miss Peters. It shows you’re strong. You’ll be just fine, okay?” I nodded and had an urge to hug my doctor. I stopped myself before I did and followed her to the front desk where she told the nurse to make an appointment for next month. “Good luck.” She smiled before walking back to the back.

I took the card and smiled at the lady, before walking out into the light. I headed in the direction of Isaac’s place, hoping he’d be home.

I wasn’t going to drag our somewhat relationship on more than it had been drug out already, for the sake of making Tayden jealous. As I approached his house I held up my hand and knocked.

A sleepy looking Isaac opened the door. He rubbed his eyes and sent me a goofy smiled. “Hey beautiful, I missed you.” I forced a smile and suddenly felt so horrible for doing this to him.

“Can I come in? We need to talk?” his eyes seemed more awake and he nodded.

“What’s wrong?” we walked to his couch together and I sat on the end, he sat down right next to me.

“Isaac, I can’t keep seeing you. Not as anything more than friends.” His face squished up in confusion.

“What? Why not? Is it that Tayden guy? I see how he looks at you…Just tell me if it’s because of him.” Now it was my turn to be confused.

“What? No. It’s not because of Tayden. There’s just something going on with my life right now that I can’t tell you about just yet. But it’s not because of any other guy.” Well technically I guess it was because of Tayden, but not in the way Isaac thought.

He ran a hand over his face, yawning. “Okay.” He shrugged. That was it?

“Wow…that’s all? I thought this was going to be super hard.” I let out a breath of relief.

“What more can I say? If you don’t want to be with me I’m not going to force you…” I nodded and turned to give him a light hug.

“Thank you Isaac, for being so understanding. I know this is so cliché, but I’d honestly like to be friends. You’re great company, and I know one day you’ll find a girl who will sweep you off your feet, just as much as she’s swept you.” He glanced around the room, his eyes dancing over the objects before he turned to me and looked me in the eye.

“I’d like to be your friend. It’s not like we slept together, so it won’t be too awkward. Opposite sex friends are bound to kiss at some point. Right?” He laughed.

“Well thank you. I need to go. But I will text you, and we will hang out. Okay?” he nodded. His complete understanding me made me feel so much worse about doing this to him. If it weren’t for my situation, or Tayden, he’d be my perfect guy. But that ship sailed, and I was left behind.

He let me out, waving before shutting the door behind me. I walked and stopped at the closest convenience store. The same beefy guy was sitting behind the register reading yet another comic. When he saw it was me he smiled, glancing down at my belly.

I suddenly wished I had a coat on so I could pull it close to me, keeping me secure. I guess I’d have to get used to people staring at my belly though. And being self-conscious about it was going to have to stop. I stopped in front of the small supply of vitamins, surprised to see they had prenatal ones. I took them off the shelf, this time grabbing a bag of chips to go with my odd purchase.

I walked home, eating the chips as I went down the street. I noticed Tayden’s pickup truck was there so I shoved my vitamins in my purse. Not yet wanting to tell him what I’d found out.

As I opened the door I walked straight to my room and discarded my purse on the bed. Suddenly I heard yelling, so I walked out my room and peered into the living room just in time to see Rain walk out the house and slam the door. I glanced at Tayden, whose face was drained of color.

“What happened?” Tayden jerked his head in my direction, obviously not knowing I was home.

“We got in a fight on the way home, it just kind of escalated once we got here. Where were you?” I lifted up my bag of chips, figuring it’d be a good enough excuse.

“I walked to the gas station, I wanted some chips and we didn’t have the kind I wanted.” He nodded before staring at me until I averted my eyes. It was then that I realized I had to tell him. I couldn’t keep this from him, it’d be wrong in so many ways.

I decided, I was going to tell him when we went camping. And he was going to hear me out, whether he liked it or not.