Downpour

It was four in the morning and I just got home. Everyone was asleep so I unlocked the door and quietly stepped in. I was trying my best to be quiet, but everything I did seemed to sound louder than ever. Every creaked in the floor would sound like a bomb going off. Not literally of course, that would be awful. I'd never sneak into a house ever again.

Within ten minutes I was in my room, had my hair and teeth brushed, and put on pajamas. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. Patrick called me beautiful today.

I know it sounds corny and most guys I've met have never even heard of any other word besides hot and the occasional sexy. But Patrick wasn't like most guys. And I absolutely loved that about him. It's like when some girls wish guys were like the guys in movies when they really aren't. But that's just too bad, because Patrick is like those guys in the movies. Hell, he even looks like a movie star. With that thought and more of Patrick running through my head, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.



I woke up to the smell of smoke. I ran out of my room and towards the kitchen. There stood Tayden desperately trying to fan the smoke out the window. "What the hell are you doing?!" Tayden looked at me and coughed. " I was trying to make blueberry muffins for breakfast. The first and second batch came out great, but the third batch..." He looked over at the black muffins on the stove, "they probably could be used in battle." I laughed and grabbed a fan from the closet and plugged it in. Tayden wiped his forehead, "Well...I wish I knew where that was."

The muffins were delicious, but Baylin was still in bed. Without anytime to lose, since the muffins would soon be gone, I ran to her room. She was laying in bed still sleeping. I climbed in next to her and lifted up the blanket. I tapped on her nose and no response was given. I tapped on her nose again and she swatted at me, probably still half asleep. I tapped on her nose a couple more times before she scrunched it up and opened her eyes. "Morning, my beautiful best friend!" I kissed her nose then ripped the blankets off her. "Now get up."

Baylin groaned and put the pillow over her face. "Baylin, get up or you leave me no other choice." She flipped me off, I pretended to sound hurt. "That's it, you asked for it." I stood up on her bed and continued to jump up and down and sang 'Good Morning' by Miss Li obnoxiously. "Good morning, good morning. It's great to stay up late!" Baylin threw the pillow that was covering her face at me. "Okay! I'm up, sheesh!" I smiled at my victory and got off her bed. "Hurry up, Tayden made blueberry muffins."

Each of us had a glass of milk and had the blueberry muffins in the middle of the table. There were a lot. But I loved blueberry muffins. They were my absolute favorite! After four, I started to feel it, but they were so good that I ate another. I was extremely fool and rubbed my belly in satisfaction.

"Guys, I'm so full that my stomach is sticking out. I look pregnant!" Baylin's eyes got wide and Tayden spit out his milk and started to choke. I fell out of my chair laughing and holding my gut. "That's not funny, Rain!" Laying there on the dining room floor, pointing up at Tayden with a red face, was me. "Oh, shit, what time is it?" Baylin looked at the clock on the oven. "Shit. Shit. Shit." I looked at her and tilted my face to the side. "I'm going to be late for work." Baylin rushed to her room to get dressed. I looked over at the clock and failed. Copper got in my face and started licking me. I got up and looked at the clock. And I was going to be late for my first chemo session.

"Tayden! We're going to be late for my appointment." He stopped mid-bite, dropped the muffin, and ran to his room to get dressed. I ran to mine, slipped on yoga pants, threw my hair in a messy bun, brushed my teeth and grabbed my car keys.

We said bye to Baylin in the garage and she drove to the diner while Tayden and I drove to the hospital. I tried to be opptimistic about the situation and put on some tunes to lighten the mood. Tayden wasn't in the mood...Neither was I, but I least I tried to fucking change it.

Tayden and I sat down for a few minutes before being called. I was terrified. I grabbed Tayden's hand and he squeezed it tightly. "Don't worry, I won't let you go." He tried to smile at me, but I could tell that it was hard for him. It was hard for me too.



Chemo took forever, I just wanted to go home and sleep. They gave me pills to help with the queasiness, but I knew that they weren't going to work as well as I thought. Tayden drove us home. We drove in silence. I didn't even bother turning on the radio and neither did he. The look on his face made me feel horrible. I squeezed his free hand and tried to smile at him. But the only thing my mouth did was turn up slightly at the corners."Don't worry, everything is going to be okay. You're going to be fine. Everything will be fine."

He pulled on the side of the road, put the car into park and lost it. He started crying, "I should be the one saying that to you. You shouldn't be saying that to me. Because right now, everything is not fine. I'm not fine and neither are you. You're going through chemotherapy, Rain. The only thing it's doing for you is slowing down the process. You're like a little sister to me, okay? I want to beat up the bitches that diss you, the boys that break your heart, and spend more than one more Christmas with you." He moved his hand from my grasp and I sat there silently while the tears came down my face.

"I-I really am going to be fine." I rubbed his back, trying to soothe the pain that he was feeling. But honestly...I couldn't relate. I never lost someone to cancer. I never felt the way he felt right now. I never felt...helpless.

The minutes ticking by seemed like hours. "Hey," I cooed,"we have to get home. " Tayden nodded his head and lifted up his head with tears in his eyes. And with more silence, we drove home.



The next day was awful. I was in pain and throwing up. Baylin had to leave for work early in the morning. She had to open today. I knew that I had to go to work, but Tayden wouldn't allow it. He went to Tony's Treasures and told him everything, despite what I told him. He offered to give the job to Tayden while I get better. Tony told him that he could take as much time off as he needed and whenever he wanted for the same pay, but only for me.

Tayden stayed in the bathroom with me, emotionless. He held my hair up when I couldn't. He tried making me food, but I couldn't eat it. I couldn't do anything. In a couple days, I will do this again... I was scared. Down right, out of my mind, scared. And I had to tell Baylin soon because I wouldn't be able to stay home that often in a couple weeks or so, that's when I'd start losing my hair. That wasn't the terrifying part..The terrifying part was going to be her reaction when I tell her...