Downpour

I stood there, just staring at my best friend. She was sitting on the couch staring me in the eyes, her head completely bald. I didn’t know what else to say. My best friend was dying. My best friend. Dead. I suddenly couldn’t hold myself together anymore. I felt like screaming.

All this lying was tiring me out. Lying to Rain about being pregnant. Lying to Rain about sleeping with Tayden. Asking Patrick to keep our secret. Being lied to by both Tayden and Rain, when I thought Tayden was the only one I could completely trust with everything throughout this all. My head was spinning and I didn’t know what to think anymore.

When had we gotten so distant? We used to be the ones to tell each other everything the second it happened. When had that all changed? And how the hell hadn’t I noticed?

Rain was still staring at me when I bust out crying. Crying because of this baby that was keeping me from being totally honest with my best friend. Crying because my best friend wouldn’t be with us much longer. Crying because the guy I was having a kid for, was losing the one person who was like a sister to him. Suddenly pouring all my shit on him made me feel like the bad guy. I never should have asked him to keep this a secret from Rain. She should know.

As much of a bitch as I’d been earlier in a second Rain was by my side. I slid down to the floor, trying to curl up into as much of a ball as I could. I knew Rain was hurting, yet she still went out of her way to help me. I wish I could be so genuine like her. She wrapped her arms around me, and patted my back, telling me it’d be okay.

She wasn’t supposed to be telling me these things. They weren’t going to be okay. She wasn’t going to be okay. The girl who my entire life was by my side, would be ripped away from me without a choice. I could do nothing but cry. Even if I was mad at her for keeping this from me, I couldn’t be too mad without being a hypocrite. She still didn’t know about me and Tayden, or our baby.

I don’t know how long we sat on the floor together. When I looked up, and hugged her never wanting to let her go, I noticed she had been crying too. I wiped her face with my fingers and broke out into a laugh. We probably looked so silly sitting on the ground like this crying our eyes out. I knew my makeup was down my face, and Rain hadn’t had any on. Her eyes were a bit red and puffy, and she laughed with me.

“We look like complete dorks.” Rain said, trying not to sound so sad. I didn’t blame her, I’d sound the same way if I talked. I just simply nodded and rested my head on her shoulder, not wanting to let her go.

“I’m still mad at you.” I almost started crying again as she nodded, but the front door opening distracted me. Tayden walked in, a leash in his hand. He dropped it as soon as the door was closed. Copper trotted to us, his tail wagging and his tongue sticking out, as if everything were okay. He came right up to us sitting on the floor trying to climb on Rain’s lap but failing miserably.

“Are you guys okay?” I wanted to snap at Tayden’s words. Ask him if he thought we were okay. I went behind my best friends back and betrayed her with him, all the while she was dying. And he knew. And he didn’t tell me.

“I’d rather not speak to you again.” I said, turning away from him, burying my head in Copper’s fur. My emotions were going crazy, and the words slipped out before I could filter them. I looked up at Rain and saw her giving him a small smile. He walked to his room and slammed the door.

I knew it wasn’t his fault. But he should have told me. Something like this should have never been kept from me. Sitting in my room later that night got me thinking. I needed to tell Rain. And soon, but I needed to talk to Tayden before I did that. And I’d just told him I’d rather not speak to him again. Shit.



I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, looking at my belly. It was definitely bigger than before. I now looked like I had a little gut. I’d gained a pound, which isn’t a lot, but still enough to make me wonder. Soon I’d be much bigger than this, and have to get new clothes.

I started thinking about how I was going to raise this child with Tayden if we hated each other. Then I started thinking about how I’d raise a child period. I was so young, too young for this. I should have been in my late twenties or early thirties when I had my first kid. Not nineteen. I couldn’t even legally buy beer, yet I was going to be given a child to raise?

What would my parents say about this? They’d be pissed off, I knew that much. They’d never agreed with sex before marriage. At least the father wasn’t some random guy I’d had sex with at a party. It was a guy my parents had watch grow up, knew his parents, his entire family. So that might take some of the anger off of it.

It’s not like my parents could even tell me what to do with this child. I was a legal adult, it was my decision. Well, and Tayden’s.

I put my shirt down and exited the bathroom, glancing to the kitchen and seeing him sitting on the stool. He looked upset. I’d never seen him like this before. He was sitting on a stool pushing food around on his plate, not taking a bite. I took a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen. He must have seen me go into the bathroom, because he didn’t have to look up to know it was me.

“I’m sorry Baylin.” He glanced up at me then down at his food, pushing it all to one side, then back to the other over and over again. “I should have made Rain tell you later. But she didn’t want you to treat her any different than you did.” I nodded, Rain had told me everything.

And even though I was slightly pissed, I wasn’t going to shut out my best friend when she really needed me. Especially if she didn’t have a long time left. I’d been in the dark for too long, and I was going to do my best by making up for lost times. “Did you know the whole time?”

“Yeah. I was the first person to find out after her parents did.” I nodded, stepping towards the fridge. “I really am sorry Baylin…I never meant for any of this to happen.” He wouldn’t look at me. He looked at the fridge behind me, but never at me.

His words slightly hurt. He hadn’t meant to have sex with me? Twice? I knew he didn’t want a relationship after, but not meaning to do it more than once was a little much. Then again, I never actually saw Tayden being able to settle down with me. I pictured him marrying a nice girl, with nice parents, and a nice house, and a nice face.

My life had taken a turn I never thought it would come to. I’d seen countless movies with single mothers. Or parents that had to cart their kid back and forth between the two because they weren’t together. I didn’t want that for my kid, and I hoped Tayden didn’t either.

I didn’t say another word. I just turned around and walked to my room. Shutting my door behind me. I sunk down after it was closed, and placed my face in my hands. There was a knock on it, and I shot up, wiping the single tear that escaped off my cheek before opening it.

Tayden was there, and this time his eyes met mine. He stepped in without being asked to, and shut the door behind him. “Baylin I am so sorry.” I nodded, turning away from him. I felt his breath on my neck before he lightly grazed his lips against my skin. I turned around and he pressed them against mine. His hand weaved itself in my hair, the other held me firmly against me as he kissed me so deep and so passionate.

When he let go he backed up, never breaking eye contact with me. I was shocked, I had no idea what that was about. Did he have feelings for me like I had for him? “I’m sorry.” He said again before exiting the room.

I looked next to my bed, the picture of him and his father still sitting in the last place I left it. I walked up to it and picked it up, cradling the fragile paper carefully. It was extremely beat up, the edges being ripped in certain places. Tayden’s birthday was coming up.

Suddenly, I knew exactly what I was going to do for him.