Downpour

"Baylin, will you go shopping with me?" It's been forever since we actually did something together. Just me and her and depsite how awful I felt, how sickly I looked, and how I didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to have another normal day with my friend. "Tayden's birthday is coming up so we have to get him something."

Baylin smiled and went to her room to get ready to leave. I put on a skirt and a creamy orange tank top then slipped on some white flip flops. I decided that since Copper didn't really do anything that we were going to take him with. He's a tiny dog so people shouldn't care. People have brought in cats bigger than him to the stores and shops around here. I put a harness around him and called for Baylin. Just as I called for her, she stepped out of her room. We grabbed our purses from the table by the door and took Copper with us to the mall.

We walked around the entire place, stopping at little stores, trying on hats, and laughing. I'm glad that she decided to go with me. Even if she was still mad at me.

"Let's go to the picture booth!" I said as I walked towards it and grabbed Baylin's hand. Baylin didn't really like the picture booths because of how cramped they were inside. Plus, we had a dog. We took four pictures together. I told her that they couldn't be serious ones. We only could have one and we had to smile while the others had to be goofy.

We went through the photos when they were done. The first one was of Baylin, Copper, and I. We pretended that he was a hotdog, but I got the butt so I didn't open my mouth like Baylin did. Who knows what would have came out of that butt while my mouth was open.

The second one was of me crossing my eyes and poofing out my cheeks. Baylin lifted up her nose to look like a little pig and crossed her eyes. We were laughing so hard that we didn't have time to pose for the third one. That photo consisted of us laughing, of course.

The fourth one would have to be my favorite. Baylin was holding Copper in the photo and we both were smiling. Just as it was about to take the picture, she kissed me on the cheek. I was still smiling. Baylin agreed that it was her favorite photo too.

We had a giant memory board at home where we tacked everything that involved us on it. That's where it was going to go. Along with the photos we took when camping, at the beach, when we had our first drinks, movie tickets, concert tickets, everything that involved us was located on that board.

We went into store that had a bunch of instruments in it. I was going to buy Tayden a gift card for it. I didn't know what he wanted or needed, so that would have to suffice.
"Maybe we could get Patrick to take him to a strip club or something." Baylin cringed at the thought. I laughed, "Maybe that's not such a good idea after all."

We left the mall and were driving around the town that we lived in. It was pretty big, but there wasn't that much to see since we've seen it all before. "I think I'm going to get a wig."

Baylin looked at me oddly. "Uh, sure...Sure..Let's go get you a wig." We went to a costume shop that was always open. Because despite the fact that it wasn't Halloween, kids bought stuff. To pull pranks and stuff like that. We looked at all the wigs.

I tried on every color imaginably. Baylin took snap shots with her phone since we forgot to bring our camera. I left to go into the changing room and put on a costume. Baylin went into the one next to mine and changed into a costume as well. We walked out.

Baylin was wearing a crazy outfit with giant breasts and yellow pigtails. I was wearing a knight suit. "Come on, Rain. Everyone puts that on. " She was disappointed in my decision until I turned around. I also placed a pair of perky, lucious, pink buttcheeks on the knight costume and shook my hips side to side. I felt like we were in a movie, getting our costumes ready for a costume party. But no, we were just doing it for fun. We tried on a couple more. A nun, nurse, bumble bee, and a fire fighter. We may have altered the outfits by adding more, but that's what made it more fun. Not to mention each costume that we tried on, we took pictures together. "We should make a scrap book." Baylin said as we were putting on our regular clothes. I didn't buy a wig. I figured it'd be too itchy.

As we were walking out of the store, we saw Patrick and I turned the other way. I grabbed Baylin's arm and started powerwalking. "What? What? Are we racing? Slow down. I want to enjoy my time with you, not speed through it." She stopped in her tracks. Only for a few seconds. But those seconds gave Patrick enough time to see that it was her, I don't think he noticed me..

"Hey, Baylin! Wait up!" Baylin turned to see who was calling her and she smiled. "Hey!" I grabbed Baylin's arm roughly and whispered in her ear. "He doesn't know, Bay."
"Uh..Oh.."
"Hey, what are you girls up to?" I turned my face and looked down so he wouldn't notice that it was me. "And who's your friend?" He looked at me and I continued to look down. I was looking everywhere else other than his direction. "Hey, um, we have to go." Baylin grabbed my hand and Patrick grabbed my other.

"...Rain? Is that you?" I bit my lip and turned towards him. "Hi, Pat..."

He looked as if he just saw someone shoot his dog. "What...What did you do to your hair?" I laughed nervously, "Bay, will you give us a minute? You can go home, I'll just...have Patrick take me home if that's alright?" I looked at the both of them and Baylin nodded her head and let go of my hand, heading in the direction in which she parked her car.

"Rain, what'd you do? You look like a proper cancer patient!" Proper cancer patient? Since when did I have to look a certain way? That remark pissed me off, but I did my best not to show it. Afterall, he didn't know.
"Yeah, about that..."



Pat and I drove to the beach and grabbed a blanket from his truck and sat on the sand. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't even want to get this attached to you. But that was impossible. I mean, look at you!" I pointed to him and continued with my explaination. " I didn't want another person to be hurt. And I didn't think we'd...like...last this long. Not that we were ever boyfriend and girlfriend to begin with. "

"We weren't?" He tilted his head to the side. He thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We never exactly made it official, but I guess I knew where he was coming from. "I mean, we never...made it official, you know? I just...I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want any of this to happen, I didn't want you to treat me differently, and I just..I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me." It seems like that's all I was ever doing anymore. Making people made at me, disappointed in me. I felt like I wasn't just hurting them, I was hurting myself.

I stared out at the ocean, the sun was starting to set. "Rain, " he put his hand over mine, "nothing you say right now is going to change the way I feel about you, okay? I'm going to help you through this. I'm going to stand by your side like everyone else. Don't shake your head at me." I was looking down and shaking my head, trying not to cry. I have really done enough.

"We're not going to mope and be sad about this, okay? I know it is sad, but we're going to be optimistic. When you get home tonight, make a list of things you haven't done yet. Make a bucketlist. Because, dammit," he smiled and lifted up my chin, "I'm going to make everything on that this come true if it's the last thing I do." And with that, he kissed me. This boy came straight out of a movie. He was so perfect.



Patrick offered to stay the night, but I declined. I wanted him to, yes, but I wanted to stay the night with my best friend and Tayden a little more.

By the time I got home, it was eleven at night. "You're home early," said Baylin who was getting ready for bed already. "Where's Tayden? " She yawned and turned off the television before pointing towards the guest bedroom. She walked towards me and hugged me tightly, " I love you, nighty night." I hugged her back, " I love you too, sweet dreams."

I grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured myself some tea from the fridge. I had another chemotherapy appointment tomorrow. I want Baylin to come with, but I don't know how she'd react. I sighed and walked to my room with my cup of tea.

Sleeping was not in my agenda today. It was two in the morning and I still haven't fallen asleep yet. I've tried sleeping on my stomach, side, no pillows, with pillows, blankets, no blankets. I could not fall asleep. It was almost irritating. I sighed, got out of bed, and head towards Baylin's room.

I opened the door quietly and Copper lifted his head up from the bed, then put it back down when he realized it was just me. I could hear Baylin's soft breathing from here. I shut her door and carefully walked towards her bed. As I sat down and lifted up the covers she opened her eyes and groaned. "Are you alright?" She opened them a little more and looked at me. "I'm fine. I just can't sleep."

"You're like a little kid." I nodded my head and snuggled against my best friend. And just like that, I was asleep.