Downpour

I stayed awake for quite a while after Rain came into my bed. I just laid there, staring at her for the longest time before finally deciding I couldn’t sleep. I sat up, brushed my hair behind my shoulders and sighed. Keeping this pregnancy from Rain any longer would only make me look worse in the long run.

I silently crawled out of bed and went into the hall. I crept down it, careful not to accidentally do something that would wake Rain up. I stopped in front of Tayden’s bedroom and contemplating on whether or not I should knock first before I went in. His room wasn’t that far from mine, and Rain was a light sleeper, so I wasn’t risking it.

I opened it slowly, peering inside. In a mess of blankets I saw a sleeping figure. I stepped inside, careful not to step on anything that might hurt my feet. His room was a complete war zone. I closed the door quietly and walked to the side of his bed he was on.

His face was so angelic, even squished up against a pillow. It was as if he was painted so his features were in perfect alignment. He had a light smile on his face, and I almost felt bad for waking him up. I put my hand on his back, rubbing it lightly. I could feel the muscles beneath my fingers and his body rise and fall with every breath. “Tayden…” I trailed off, suddenly second guessing myself.

“Hmm?” his eyes fluttered open, before coming into focus and resting on my shadow in the dark. He suddenly looked wide awake as he twisted himself and sat up. I noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt then, the covers hiding that from me before.

“What is it? Is Rain okay? Where is she?” I put my finger up to my lip.

“Shh, she’s in my bed. She’s sleeping, and she’s perfectly fine. I wanted to talk to you…” I knew I should have waited.

“At..3:17 in the morning?” he asked checking his alarm clock next to me. He rubbed his eyes and laid back down, his head singing into the pillow. He scooted over and pulled the blanket back. I smiled slightly and slipped into his bed. I was now laying where he had just been, and it was warm and comfy. I pulled the comforter around my neck and he did the same.

“Talk. I’m comfy, I’ll listen.” I resisted an urge to giggle like a seventh grader and pulled my legs closer to my body.

“I’m sorry too. And I want to tell Rain.” His eyes bore into mine until I couldn’t stand it anymore and I looked away. I felt weird being in the same bed as him. Before we’d watch movies together, even snuggle at times, but it was never anything more than friends. Now it was like I was breaking the law, I felt bad.

“Tell her then.” He shifted farther away from me, leaning over to pick something up off the floor. When he leaned back I noticed it was another pillow. He placed it between us and rested his head on that one, so his face was only a few inches away from mine. His arm wrapped around it as if it were someone’s midsection.

“Do you want me to just come right off the bat and say it’s yours?” I wanted him to hold me like that. Actually, I just wanted to be held like that period. It’s as if he knew something was bothering me, because he put his hand out and rubbed my arm under the blanket. His touch was warm, and comforting. Exactly what I had needed.

“Well I don’t want you to say it’s not mine. So yeah, I think the sooner it’s out in the open the better. Plus it’ll be less stress for you if you don’t have the weight of a huge secret like this on your shoulders 24/7. Also, I don’t think you’re going to be hiding it much longer.” I laughed with him and shook my head.

“No. I don’t think so either.” He smiled and held the pillow tighter. I wanted to yank it from his arms and toss it across the room, sliding into them myself. “Can I ask you something?” his eyelids fluttered shut.

“Sure Bay, anything.” A smile graced his lips, and I wanted to do nothing more, then to press my own lips against his and kiss him till our lips were both sore. But I couldn’t do that, I would probably never be able to do that. I was left with nothing to do but clear my throat.

“Why’d you sleep with me? The second time.” His eyes opened again and he looked as if he were thinking. Finally he sighed and let out a long breath.

“Nothing I’m going to say will make you happy.” I nodded, knowing this already. He didn’t have feelings for me, I knew it wasn’t something like that. “I care about you Baylin, I do. I’m not saying anything more than that.” He looked sad, like I’d upset him.

I felt myself pulling the pillow out of his grasp, and tossing it aside. It was as if my body was moving on its own, no longer connected to my brain. It wasn’t doing what I was telling it to do. Instead I scooted closer, to where our chests were touching and I could feel the heat of his breath on the top of my head. I slid my face into his neck and took in his scent.

“Would you do it again?” I felt him tense up, then his hand rested on my hip. What was wrong with me? Was I trying to get into another fight with him? Of course he didn’t, he’d given me far more than enough hints to make it perfectly clear the first two times were mistakes, and he didn’t want to strike out.

His breath sounded different as I trailed my finger down his arm. “Bay…” he protested, but he did nothing to stop me from continuing. Looking in his eyes, he was begging for me to stop, yet there was a hint of something else in there. Something I didn’t understand. I ran my hand down his chest, making sure to go extremely slow as it passed the top of his boxers. He groaned, a hint of laughter in his voice. “Bay, you’re being very mean.”

He was keeping his hands to himself, only leaving one resting on my hip. He didn’t dare to move it. He was being a good guy. He was being a nice guy; the one that would do anything not to break your heart. And I was making it extremely hard for him to continue to do so. I repeated my question, my lips hovering over his ear. “Would you do it again?”

“Yes.” He breathed out, the hand on my hip tightened and he pulled me towards him. I traced my finger over his chest lightly. “But we shouldn’t.” I froze. Denied.

I nodded, trying to get away from him, but he wouldn’t let go. “Baylin, it’s not you. Okay? I just don’t know how far you’re willing to go. And I’m extremely horny right now.” I knew he was blushing, openly admitting that to me. The girl he used to play with in the tub when we were little.

“Tayden, this could work…” I contemplated what I was going to say next, and just as he opened his mouth to speak, I started instead. “It’d be extremely awkward if I had sex with anyone else right now. This is your baby. Please?” I hated begging him, but nine months without sex? Hell it was only around three, and I was already going insane. Tayden was my only option, as long as I didn’t let my feelings get the best of me. I hovered my lips right above his and he pressed his lips to me, groaning as I pressed myself against him.

I hoped this would work.

<><><>

I was sitting by the kitchen counter smiling like an idiot to myself. I knew it wasn’t anything more than sex to Tayden, but he’d made me feel so special after. He hadn’t left right away like the other times; he’d actually hugged me close to him and fell asleep like that. Only moving when I left before Rain could wake up. Even though I was definitely going to tell Rain about the baby, I didn’t have to tell her we were still having sex. That would have made it way more awkward that it already was.

Rain was watching the TV intently, holding her tummy. She’d been throwing up all morning, and it didn’t seem to be getting any better. I popped a pretzel in my mouth and watched her laugh at something the guy on the TV had said. Tayden walked in the kitchen and flashed me a great big smile. It was the first time he’d done that in a long time.

He looked in the living room and when he saw Rain wasn’t paying any attention to us, he walked over and stood next to my chair. I took my attention off my best friend and smiled at her cousin. “Hi” I whispered, just enough for him to hear it.

He had just gotten out the shower, so his hair was still slightly damp. Droplets fell onto his shoulder as he got closer to me. He glanced over at Rain again before leaning in and giving me a giant kiss. It shocked the hell out of me to say the least. We agreed this was only sex. If he was horny now he’d have to wait. Rain would notice something and I was eating. Food came first.

But he didn’t say a thing. He just stole a pretzel and walked into the living room to slide onto the couch next to Rain. I watched them talk and laugh about the show together. I knew he was going through a lot, if not complaining when he kissed me like that was what he needed to keep a smile on his face, I’d be more than happy to do just that. Then again, I wouldn’t be complaining anyways.

I grabbed my bowl of pretzels and sunk into the couch on the opposite side of Rain. She smiled and I held the bowl out, offering her some while she watched it. She silently took some and continued to keep her eyes trained on the TV. I continued to stare at her.

No matter what she said, hair or not. She was beautiful. She was strong, selfless, and a trooper. There would have been no way I could have went through what she was going through right now. I wasn’t that strong of a person to deal with the emotional stress that came along with it.

I placed my hand over hers and rested my head on her shoulder. It was moments like this I would treasure forever.

<><><>

As I walked in the kitchen I heard humming. Tayden was standing at the stove putting the dishes in the dishwasher. I looked around for Rain, but I couldn’t find her. Leaving the room I went down the hall and knocked on her bedroom. This was it. I was going to tell her, and hope for the best reaction possible.

“Rain? Can I come in?” I heard a muffled yes and I saw my best friend laying in bed, the cover to her neck watching television. She still wasn’t feeling great so she decided the comfort of her own bed was better than the comfort of our couch. “Rain I have to tell you something.”

She muted the TV and turned to me, looking sicker than ever. I rushed to her side and felt her forehead. She felt fine. Lacing my fingers with hers I took a deep breath.

“What is it Baylin. You know you can tell me anything.” I nodded and tears prickled my eyes.

“I just wanted to let you know I loved you, okay? No matter what you say to me after I tell you. I love you, and you will always be my best friend.” I swallowed back a sob and she nodded, looking a bit worried at my behavior. Then I said those words, the ones that changed my life, changed Tayden’s, and would change hers too.

“Rain, I’m pregnant and Tayden’s the father.”