Downpour

As soon as Rain was out of sight and earshot, I turned and punched Tayden on the arm as hard as I could. He opened his mouth and glanced towards Rain before shaking his head.

“What the hell was that for, Bay?” He rubbed his arm lightly before crossing them across his chest. I stared at his eyes.

“I told you she’d catch us if you didn’t be a little more discreet!” I whispered harshly, “I really don’t want my best friend to hate me right now, especially not for the reason that I’ve been sleeping with a guy who’s basically a brother to her. She’s going through a rough time Tayden, chill out when she’s around. And we aren’t dating, incase you forgot.”

He rolled his eyes and shoved past me lightly, careful enough not to hurt me, but enough to where I got the message: He was pissed at me.

He turned slightly and looked around the kitchen where we’d been having this conversation. He’d look anywhere but at me, “Honestly Bay, if you don’t want to be in a relationship with me, why do you act like you do? I’m not a bad guy you know, and I seriously doubt Rain would be pissed if she found out. That is if she doesn’t already know, her cancer didn’t make her stupid.” His words stung as he turned and walked out the door, slamming it harder than it had ever been slammed before. And it had been slammed quite a few times since we all moved in together.

Rain’s door opened slowly and she peeked her head out, a beanie perched to where you thought her hair was just tucked under. Until you looked closer that is.

“What happened?” I turned away from my best friend’s question. I knew I was crying, because I knew I cared about Tayden. More than a person “just sleeping with

him” should be. I knew somewhere in the past weeks I had fell for Tayden, hard.

“Nothing.” I mumbled, wiping my eyes fiercely, trying to wipe away anything that would give how I felt for Tayden away to her if she saw my face.

“Don’t lie to me Baylin. What happened between you two?” I contemplated telling her in that exact moment, but I knew she’d had a rough day already because of my grandmother. Like she needed another Peters bringing her down as well.

“We just got into a little fight about the baby.” I turned to her smiling, wiping one stray tear away from my face. “It’s nothing, we’ll work it out. You know us, we fight all the time.” I laughed, but if she had paid attention to my laugh she would have known it was empty. I didn’t think one bit of this was happy or funny. I could sit there and cry all day if no one would interrupt me. But I couldn’t show Rain how bad Tayden affected me. And I certainly couldn’t show Tayden.

The doorbell rang and made us both jump. I laughed lightly again, this time somewhat real. I gave her a fake smile, trying my best to not let it look fake at all. “That’s probably Patrick. Want me to get it?” I knew she hated when I asked that, and I always let it slip out before I could filter my brain.

She hated being weak, and treated like a child who couldn’t do anything for themselves. I knew it made her feel handicap. She was getting so weak it was scaring me, which is why I always offered in the first place. She usually declined my offer, but this time she accepted looking down.

“Tell him I’ll be in my room. And Tayden will come around. He’s a hot head. My poor niece might get that trait.” She bent down and kissed my tummy, like Tayden always did and I almost bust out crying again. I had to get out of this house.

“I will,” The doorbell rang again. “I’ll give you two some alone time, okay? I need a walk.” I grabbed my purse and walked to the front door, opening it to see a smiling Patrick waiting there. Before I’d known him this well I never thought he was like this, I thought he was stuck up. But instead he was one of the sweetest most down to earth guys I’d met. And I was happy how he felt for my best friend.

“Hey…” Patrick said looking behind me as he stepped in the door.

“She’s in her room.” He smiled and started walking that way, but I wasn’t through with him yet. “And Patrick?” He stopped and turned back towards me. “I know you love her, and you should tell her before it’s too late and you’ll regret never saying a word.” I knew the sole reason he wasn’t saying those few words were because of her cancer. He didn’t want to have her, and then lose her. But neither did I.

As I stepped outside I thought about what I had said to him. Should I tell her Tayden and I are kind of in a screwed up relationship? Would she be as mad as I thought? Or would she do like she did whenever she found out I was pregnant with his child? Just let me cry and not yell. I wished it would be the latter but I just wasn’t sure. I couldn’t tell her, not just yet. Not until I figured out what Tayden and I’s relationship was exactly.

I knew how I felt about him, but his feelings towards me were a mystery. He’d always showed he was pissed off whenever I said I didn’t want to let Rain in on us just having sex, but that hadn’t made any sense. Unless he did actually like me? But he couldn’t, right?

I stopped in my tracks and laughed to myself. Seriously? Was the world against me today?

Just as I thought about him, and how I felt and how he maybe felt about me, I was proved wrong. Tayden was sitting at a table smiling at a girl like he’d never smiled at me. The girl was gorgeous, long brown hair, perfect skin. And she was looking at Tayden as if he was God’s gift to Earth.

Of course he didn’t like me how I liked him, he liked her. But why was he still sleeping with me if he had another, not pregnant, girl to sleep with? Which by the looks of things so far, he did.

He looked up and his eyes met mine. He quickly looked down then to the girl in front of him and started talking to her again. I held back the tears again and turned towards the park. I couldn’t go home, and I couldn’t stay here. I didn’t know what to do. I felt unwanted everywhere I went.

As I turned into the walkway that would take me straight to the swings I heard him calling my name.

“Baylin! Wait up!” He jogged until he was next to me and took a big gulp of air.

“You waddle fast for a pregnant girl.” I didn’t laugh or smile, and he did both. I wanted to punch him again. Punch him for sleeping with me if he didn’t feel anything more. But I couldn’t, because it had been my idea. My stupid idea that was torturing me more than anything.

“We can’t sleep together anymore.” I said before doing a complete 180 and going back towards the house. Tayden caught up with me again.

“Why? Because I was having lunch with some girl you didn’t know?” He laughed harshly and I walked faster.

“No.”

“Then why Baylin? Give me some answers, please. Because you’re confusing the fucking hell out of me.” I looked at him, his eyes begging me to give him anything he could work with to answer his questions.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He scoffed as I bent my head down, watching as the house came into view.

“Well too bad, because I do. You’ve been spinning me in circles since this started! I’m getting really confused, if you want me to just see you say so. Because then I’ll keep that promise, and that girl back there? She means nothing to me. Sh-“

I cut him off before he could finish his answer. “She’s your pity fuck isn’t she? The one you go to, to get laid when I “spin you in circles”?” I opened the door and turned to him. “You know what Tayden, I don’t care. Sleep with whoever you feel like. I’ll be fine, but I’m not sleeping with you again.”

He groaned, his eyes staring at mine with such anger I almost felt afraid for myself. “Are you fucking stupid, Baylin? Seriously? I never slept with that girl, she’s an old friend from high school, and she just listens to me rant on and on about this girl I fucking love.” Those words stung. So he didn’t love me, he loved someone else. I felt tears come to my eyes, and I wiped them away. “But the girl I love won’t give me the time of day, or admit that she feels the same way.”

I looked up at him as his voice got back to a normal speaking level. He looked hurt. How could anyone not love Tayden? That girl had to be the luckiest girl in the entire world. She really didn’t know what she had, and here he was calling me stupid.

“I don’t understand why you’re telling me this Tayden. Just to make me feel bad?” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He opened those blue eyes and stepped closer to me, wrapping his arms around me so quickly that I didn’t have time to register what had happened until his lips were against mine. I couldn’t help myself but to close my eyes and let myself slip away into the kiss. It was filled with such emotion. Why had he just told me he loved someone else, and then kissed me?

He broke away and leaned his forehead against mine, when he opened his eyes he smiled and looked at me.

“Baylin, I love you.” He pulled his forehead away from mine. No doubt my mouth was down to my knees. Wait, what? He smiled at me sadly when I didn’t say anything back. I wanted too, oh boy did I want to. I was just speechless. “All those nights we spent together, they meant the world to me. And I have to say, if I had to get anyone pregnant before I was married, I’m happy it was you. I couldn’t imagine having a kid with anyone else. I think I’ve always loved you, but I wouldn’t let myself admit it until now.” He bent down like he always does and kissed my belly, right above my belly button. “But I understand if you don’t feel the same way, although your actions say otherwise.” He got off his knees, and walked past me, going into his room. He closed the door lightly and I turned away stunned.

That’s the moment that I noticed Patrick and Rain sitting on the couch together. They had been laying down, so from behind the couch we couldn’t see they were even there. They had sat up to look at us obviously. Rain was looking at me, tears in her eyes.

That’s when the cold hard truth hit me. Tayden had just told me he loved me. And Rain had heard it all.