Downpour

“What the hell are you doing?!” I shrieked, momentarily forgetting that I had been trying to cut back on the cursing before the baby got here that way my precious little girl wouldn’t have to hear all the mean words. I had passed by the laundry room momentarily before I spotted Tayden in there apparently trying to do his laundry.

“Um…my laundry?” he asked, giving me an odd look and holding up the bottle of laundry detergent. “I’m running out of clean underwear.”

I huffed and gave him a look. “I am too Tayden, but who taught you to do laundry? A blind person? You don’t mix whites and darks…” he closed his mouth before looking into the washer then back at me.

I put my hands on my hips and cocked an eyebrow. “Really? I just…”

“Do you want pink whitey tighties?” I asked stepping into the small laundry room and pulling his white t-shirt out of it, along with some of his white socks.

“I do not own whitey tighties, Bay!” he said, taking over on pulling out the rest of his white clothes. I knew he didn’t, but anything I could say to get Tayden to remotely crack a smile came out of my mouth. For the past week we’d been at the hospital non-stop. I was only a short two and a half weeks from my due date, and I was told to take it extremely easy. Dealing with Tayden and his lack of knowledge of all things cleaning was making that hard.

After he was done I stood there and continued to lecture him on how to do his clothes properly. “Now measure up to here with laundry detergent. Good, pour it. Now close the lid. Congratulations, you did it!” I gave him a fake smile, and he shook his head before kissing my lips.

“Thank you, Mom. Now go sit down, you heard what the doctor said. Easy, Bay. Easy.” I nodded before walking over and sitting on the couch. I didn’t bother to stare at the television, the picture just above it was enough to keep my focus.

Before we’d moved in, my parents had put up pictures of me and Rain as we grew up. We’d always been unseparable, so having a picture of me without her in it was rare. After we moved in and everything I guess we just never took the time to take it all down. There was one picture, just to the right of the television, of us when we were around the age of eight at the most. We each had our half of our BFF necklaces on, our hair was done up in braids the same way, and we had cheesy smiles on our faces. A tear escaped the side of my eye as I continued to stare at it.

I only looked away when I felt the couch move under Tayden’s weight next to me. His hand rested over mine and when I glanced at him he was giving me a sad smile. I knew he didn’t want me to be under so much stress with the baby and all, but he also knew that I couldn’t change what was happening. I smiled at him, turning my hand so my left hand entwined with his right.

“I love you. The both of you.” He said motioning to my stomach, I rubbed it automatically and looked down. She kicked and I let out a soft laugh, it was almost as if she were replying to Tayden.

I voiced her opinion. “We love you too.”

His face got serious all of a sudden and he stood up. He was biting his lip and walking back and forth. He stopped, looked at me and held up his hand. “Hold on.” He was gone out the room in a matter of seconds, and back just as quick. His hand was closed in a fist and he came in front of me. He looked nervous as hell. “I don’t want you to be mad at me for thinking I went out and spent a lot of money with our little girl about to be here and all, so just know I didn’t. Okay?” I nodded, not exactly understanding where he was coming from.

Then he was on his knee, and a small ring was held out in front of me. “What?” I asked, glancing at the ring then to his face, which was a bit flustered. I opened my mouth to say something else but he cut me off.

“Rain’s going to kill me for not being able to see this. But Baylin, will you marry me?” My eyes never left his to look at the ring. I just stared at his eyes as long as I could before I had to blink.

The small smile that had been present on his lips faltered. He then stood up when he realized I wasn’t going to say anything. “Um, right. Too fast? I just- I thought.” He groaned loudly and I was still too shocked to say anything. “I’ll- I’ve- go.” He shoved the ring in his pocket and was out the front door before I could tell him anything else.

My hesitation wasn’t from not knowing what I wanted. I knew exactly what I wanted, I just didn’t know if I what I wanted was for the best. I was barely an adult, and I’d already gotten pregnant, but being married on top of all of that was a big deal.

I stood up, knowing full well that Tayden would be extremely pissed at me for what I was about to do. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts before I came to a familiar one. It rang twice before the familiar voice came through the line. “Hello?”

“Pat? Can you come pick me up and bring me to the hospital? I’ve got to see Rain.” My voice spoke as I said her name. Even if she was in the hospital, she was still my best friend. She was still the person I confided in when I didn’t know what to do, or did something stupid. Both of which applied to my situation at the moment. There was a long pause before Patrick answered and I held my breath.

I was willing to walk to the hospital at the moment just to see my best friend. I wondered if this is what Tayden had felt like waiting for me to answer a few minutes ago. Of course his was probably ten times as worse as mine. “Yeah, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He said before hanging up.

I grabbed my purse before searching around for my shoes. I made sure Copper had food and water in his bowl, and let him use the bathroom outside before bringing him back in as the doorbell went off. I walked to it, my purse flapping on my side. Patrick grinned softly at me, sunglasses perched on his face. I smiled back before walking towards his vehicle with him.

The ride to the hospital was extremely quiet. It seemed as if Patrick had something on his mind just like me, but neither of us felt comfortable enough to voice our thoughts. The music was on, but it was so low you could only hear the melody. The words were so faded it sounded as if it were part of the tune. When he pulled up to the drop off part I raised my eyebrow at him. I thought he’d at least want to come in and talk to Rain for a bit.

“Her parents are here. I’m not sure they like me being here so much. I’ll come visit her later though.” I nodded, grabbing the door handle before he spoke again. “Tell her I love her?” I smiled at him, nodding before making my way into the maze of hallways before coming to her door. I knocked softly before opening it to come face to face with her parents.

“Oh Baylin, sweetheart we weren’t expecting you.” Her mother cooed, sounding as bad as she looked. She had dark circles under her eyes and her voice cracked as if she hadn’t gotten any sleep in a month. “They just gave her something to knock her out. Her headache was getting bad.” She gave me a sad smile and for a second I thought they should have given her the medicine instead. She looked as if she could have used the sleep.

“It’s alright. Just being with her is enough.” She nodded and gave me a small hug before following her husband to the door.

“We’re going to go eat, feel free to stay as long as you like.” Her father said, and I nodded taking the seat he had just been sitting in. I pulled it closer to the bed and laced my fingers with my best friends. I watched as her chest rose and fell as she breathed evenly. She looked so peaceful sleeping there that I almost wished she could stay like this until she was gone. She wouldn’t be suffering through the pain or the faces of others that were in pain from her dying. I kissed her hand and swallowed.

“I wish you were awake right now. I really needed your advice, but this will do.” I sighed, leaning back, resting the hand that wasn’t in Rain’s on top of my stomach. “Tayden asked me to marry him today.” I paused, as if she would actually reply. “I don’t know if I want to though, Rain. I’m too young to be having a kid, much less be married with a kid. I just,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I love him, I really do. I don’t think I’ve loved anyone as much as him.”

I glanced at the picture I’d given her and smiled at Tayden’s smiling face. Seeing him walk out that door was enough to break my heart. “I’m just not sure if I’m ready. And knowing that Tayden is scares the living beep out of me.” I censored my own words, knowing there wasn’t a good enough word to describe it than what I was censoring out, yet not wanting to speak the forbidden words.

“I just want to be happy. With him, our baby…you.” I sighed, “He means so much to me, which is crazy because out of all the guys I never thought I’d end up with your cousin.” I laughed a bit, rubbing my thumb along Rain’s hand. She was cold, most likely from the temperature in the room. Lately I was always hot, and I myself even had goose bumps.

“I don’t know how you’ll react to this, but we’re behind the lies. I was coming to tell you right away. And to tell you that I didn’t even answer. I just let him leave.” A tear fell down my cheek. “He proposed to me Rain, and I just left him hanging. I just let him walk away from me.” I wiped furiously at the tears that seemed to be coming out more and more now. “Seeing him walk out that door nearly broke my heart. Knowing I caused him that…fuck.” I muttered, wanting to curse again just for cursing and saying a forbidden word.

I sniffled, raising up my shirt to wipe my face, not even caring if I got any of the makeup I bothered to put on, on it. “Rain, I messed up. I did it again. I’m a screw up, and I just want to be with him. I just- I have to go. I have to fix this before he just walks out of our lives.” I looked down, rubbing my stomach. I stood up slowly, bending over to kiss my best friend on the forehead.

“If my talking is effecting your dreams, I just wanted to let you know you’re beautiful. Inside and out, Rain. A year ago, and right now.” I stared down at her frail face, her cheekbones more prominent than they’d ever been in the entire time I’d known her. “I love you so much, Rain.”

I wiped away another tear before finally letting go of my best friend’s hand. I knew one of these days it might be the last time I’d see her. I wanted a picture of her burned permanently in my mind. As I walked towards the door I glanced back another time, wishing she’d been awake. Wishing she could have told me what to do, or how to handle it. How to handle Tayden, because she knew him far better than I did.

I stepped out the room and shut the door, closing my eyes briefly before taking a deep breath and walking forward. I rounded the corner and almost knocked someone over. Looking up I glanced into the eyes I so badly wanted to see right now.

“Tayden.” I breathed out, and his face didn’t change. He didn’t crack a small smile like he normally did when he saw me after a while, or even look hurt. His face was blank, and I knew that he was in pain. Pain that I had caused him. I reached out to touch him but he flinched away. He looked down then back up.

“What Baylin? I kind of don’t want to talk to you right now.” I nodded, looking down.

“I just wanted to tell you my answer was yes.”