Downpour

I woke up feeling as if I hadn't slept in months. My stomach probably hadn't had solid food for months either. Not that I could eat, I could hard lift my head anymore. Patrick, Tayden, and Bay would come in and spoon feed me. Patrick would ocassionally even sing me to sleep, even though he knew sleeping was the last thing I wanted to do. This was all because I didn't know if that was going to be the last time that I was going to hear his voice or see his face ever again. Not just his, any one's. He'd sing Lullaby by The Spill Canvas, songs by Ed Sheeran and Death Cab For Cutie, all my favorite artists and bands. His voice was angelic, calm, and soft. I still got chills every time he said " I love you."

There was still so much left that I wanted to accomlish in my life. But I guess we'll just have to have everyone accomplish those things for me. Starting a family, Baylin has already got that down, getting married, go cliff diving. Hell, maybe those lucky bastards would win the lottery. They could freeze my body until they found a cure for this cancer.

Baylin came into the room, looks as if she was about to pop at any minute. Her hair was in a bun, little waves hanging out here and there. She was wearing a light pink, frilly, flowing shirt that hung down to her thighs. She wore white leggings and cute silver flats. She looks as if she could have been a ballerina. Granted she'd be the first pregnant ballerina I had eve heard of...Fuck, Baylin is too uncorddinated to be a ballerina. She just looked adorable, okay?

Which as much as I could see. My vision was getting bad. I could see people, but if someone were to ask me what was on tv, I wouldn't be able to tell them unless I heard it. If something was written down on a piece of paper? You'd have to put it extremely close to my face.

Baylin's hands were behind her back and just as I was about to scolled her for getting me something that I was never going to be able to use, she shows me her ring finger. On her finger was none other than a beautiful ring. "Tayden asked me to marry him, Rain." She smiled. I knew she was scared to be married at such a young age. I was geniuely happy for the both of them. But then my heart sank to my stomach. I wasn't going to be able to be the Maid of Honor. I wasn't going to see my best friend or my cousin walk down the isle. I wasn't going to be there to help her pick out her beautiful dress or lift it up for her when she had to pee.

I wasn't going to be there for her last day of freedom from marriage. The bachlorette party. Man, that party would have been like a dick brigade. Penis shit everywhere.

My mother came around the corner smiling and just as soon as my mother did, so did Baylin's. Next was Tayden's mother. I was getting a bit concerned and then in came Patrick. Tears came to my eyes when I realized what Patrick was dragging in on a bunch of hangers. White dresses.

"You didn't think that I'd let you leave without seeing me in one, did you?" Baylin rubbed her belly.

"Of course, they're all loose fitting. Because the wedding might be after this baby is born. I just want you to get an idea, okay? And I want you to pick the dress out. Not me, not Mom, not your mom or Tayden's. Just you. "

I slowly nodded my head the best I could. My voice was horse. "Well, don't keep me waiting. Go try them on."

Patrick's hand went across my bald head and he gently kissed me on the lips. " I love you, baby. I'm going to let you have your girl time now. I'll probably be back later."

"I love you too, Pat," I squeaked when I said his name.

A lot of the dresses did look a bit weird on her because of her big belly. Until the last one. It was strapless, a ribbon of silver glitter around her torso, right below her breasts. It was loose and flowy. It looked as if it was made of silk. The glitter wasn't ridiculous. It was just shiney. So I guess calling it glitter would be incorrect. Because that shit gets everywhere.

The point is, she looked absolutely beautiful in it, once she got close enough for me to see it all. The train was long, but not too long. The dress was simple, yet amazing. I couldn't get over how good it looked on her, even with the extra lump. "This one, this is the one."

Baylin, my mother, Tayden's, and her own, smiled and agreed with me. "This is definitely the one" they kept saying.

The mother's left and Baylin sat on the bed with me, still in her beautiful white dress that I happily picked out. She laced her fingers with mine and sighed. " I love you."

" I love you too, Best Friend. Now, go change out of the dress so no one will see it."

She changed quickly and put the dress in the black bag and labeled it so she knew which one was the one that she wanted.

"Will you be my maid of honor?" She walked over to my bed and looked down at me, smiling, knowing fully well that I wasn't going to be able to be there. However, just to please her, "I don't know who else you'd ask. You don't exactly have any other friends."

"You poo head."

"Did you just call me a poo head?" My voice cracked and I laughed.

As I laughed, Tayden walked into the room with a new boquet of flowers. He brought some every week.

His face lit up as soon as he heard me laugh. Granted it was not the best laugh that I had ever had. But it was an actual laugh. Tayden smiled. "I missed the sound of your laugh."

Baylin smiled too, "And I've missed your smile." She looked up at Tayden, nothing but love in her eyes.

"But seriously? " I laughed out loud, " What is with poo head?"

Tayden answered the question for me, "She has been trying to cut back on the swearing in case the baby hears her." Tayden walked over and kissed my forehead, hers, and then her belly.

"You two should probably get home though. It's getting late, I'm sure." Tayden nodded his head. I knew he didn't want to leave. He never wanted to, and neither did Baylin. But they needed their rest. "I'll be here in the morning.

~*~

The next day, I felt even worse. Patrick came in early and held my hand the entire time. "Go...Eat...Okay baby?" My breathing came out shallow every time I took a breath. I had a mask over my face, so no more kisses for Rain.

"I'll eat later," he kept arguing. I shook my head slowly the best I could. "Please..."

Patrick sighed and got up, squeezing my hand firmly before he left to go get shitty hospital food. His hands felt so warm in mine, I just wanted them back.

Baylin came into my room right after he left, waving at him as she walked into my room. Tayden was right behind her, holding her hand. They looked at me as if they were shocked.

"Rai, are you okay?"

I tried to laugh, half heartedly laugh, but laugh all the same. "What happened after we left.
I didn't know what happened after they left. I just remember telling them that I'll be here in the morning.

My doctor came in and motioned for Tayden to come into the hallway. All hope was lost a long time ago, I know. But what very little hope he had left was gone. All of it, gone as soon as he said those six little words. "She hasn't got much time left. "

I saw a blur of Tayden at the door and faintly heard him mutter something "Can't you just stall a little longer? Please? The baby will be here in a week or so and she needs to see that baby. We need her here just a little longer, please."

"I'm sorry, Sir.."

"How long?"

"It's tough to say right now, especially under the cir-"

He was getting frustrated. Tayden hated when people would beat around the bush.

"How... Long?"

The doctor sighed, " Tonight? A day or two at the most. She had another seizure last night. I'm surprised she's still awake, able to see, hear, move, and speak. You all were right. Rain is a fighter, but all fighters have to either give up or stop some time."

Tayden was stuttering, "She's not giving up. She will last longer."

I tuned out the rest of their conversation and looked over at Baylin, she was trying to tune out as much as possible too. She looked at me, horrified. "Hey...Hey...Smile, Bay. Smile my.. beautiful best friend..I don't want that... that to be the last thing...I see.."

"Rain...My...My water just broke."