Suicide Season

"Oli how could you do this to me?" I screamed, looking at the tall, heavily tatooed, twenty four year old stood in front of me.
"Babe! I was drunk I didn't sleep with her! She sucked me off" He almost sounded like he was pleading with me
"I don't give two fucks! You said the only girls mouth aloud near your dick was mine! You said you wouldn't touch groupies again!" I sobbed my hands over my eyes so he couldn't see how hurt I was
"Look babe I really am sorry! I can't tell you how sorry I am. I didn't want to hurt you but I was drunk" tears fell from his eyes.
"These things always happen when you're drunk Oliver!" I cried walking out of the Kitchen into the Living room.
"Rob-"
"Save it for the next girl Oli!" I ran to our bedroom slaming the door behind me and locking it. I put Sleeping With Sirens on listening to IF I'm James Dean You're Audrey Hepburn... I sat on the bed crying,
"Robyn!" Oli screamed banging on the door and trying the door knob. "I'm so sorry." she sobbed. He slid down the door, I knew this because I was now sat by the door now. He resited the words quietly to himself.
I looked back at our bed. I unlocked the door and bolted and dived under the covers. Oli opened the door, shutting the dog out. He sat by my siloette on the bed, the covers were pulled over my face so that he couldn't see i was still crying. He slid to the floor, his knees pulled up so that he fit in the gap between the wall and the bed. The silence was unbearable. It was the sort of silence you'd expect when someone is about to break up with you. He sighed heavily.
"Babe can we talk about this? Rationally" his sheffeild accent rang somberly around our bedroom walls
"We've talked about it" I wimpered turning towards him so that i could peek at the back of his head. His head was in his hands. The rose tattoos just viewable where his hair parted at the back of his neck.
"By the next girl did you mean it was over? I don't want this to be over baby. I couldn't live with myself if I ruined something that was as beautiful as what we have." He was getting angry at himself now.
"I don't either, I just get so paranoid when you're gone. I know I shouldn't and I keep telling myself I trust you and now you've betrayed that trust."
"At least you didn't find out, at least I told you." I had to give him that he had rang me up on his way back from Canada, their last show on the last tour. When he got home and had recouperated (I'd stayed over Sam Carter's from the Arcitects house since he was home for a few months) we had had this blazing row when I got home.
"Oli, I love you more than anything. People spread shit. Yes I'm a fan but you shyly approached me in that bar, asking if you could buy me a drink and then you took me home. Meeting you was the best time of my life. I just... i just can't if you get me." my arms were now out of the quilt and I was pushing my hands to my head. He had a way of making me confess everything to him. It was impossible. I just couldn't live with out him but I doubted I could withstand another blow like this to our relationship.
"I understand. I think anyway. It's how I'll feel when you get your big break and start jetting off with Calvin Klein or something like that. I'm going to be jealous then. I'll have to make sure that my tour clashes with your photo shoots." He smiled and so did I, he saw it. "Can i have one last chance I promise I won't fuck up! I don't want to loose you at all." I stroked his long dark brown hair, smiling as I did. It was one of my favourite things about him.
"You can have all the chances in the world but I think I've proven that you can't mess this bitch around, do it again I'm gone." I said seriously
"I don't want you to go, if you go, I'll run after you, as far as our feet will take us."
"See you're a prick sometimes and then you remind me why I love you're sappy ass." my face fell.
"But you love it." He laughed to himself turning to looke deep into my green eyes and knowing I was trapped in those deep almost black eyes with those colourfull tattoos not phasing my concentration at all.
Here's a little back ground about us. I'm Welsh, I lived in Cardiff with my mum and two little brothers. I used to work in a bar and did modeling on the side for my photography student friends. I was training to be a Radio presenter and eventually got there. I had been working the night I met Oli. My best friend Charlotte sat at the bar complaining about her lack of man friend as the place began to fill. About two o'clock a group of five guys walked in, all heavily tattooed, I recognised them but didn't know where from. Little did I know my wall adorned their poster. At this point I was wearing a Drop Dead hoodie, it was a gift off of my mum and actually didn't recognise the shop brand at that time. I was busy bussing tables and waiting all the people inside the mini club. I was having a laugh with Charlotte when the tallest member of the group came over. He had full sleaves of the most trance like tattoos I had ever seen. His hair was dark brown and he eyes ten shades darker than any I'd seen before. They had me locked in my place the moment we met eyes. He sat at the bar. His friends singing behind him.
"Hey what can I get you?" I asked shyly, Charlotte just stared at me drunkly her vodka and Coke perched on its edge as her head leant on the bar. I was never shy.
"Um I don't know what do you recommend?" he asked quietly, it was apparent by his accent that he was from the north east. His accent was firm but his voice was quiet.
"I'm going a shot of straight Jager, a shot of vodka, a Jack Daniels, washed down with a bottle of carling."
"Wow you can drink." He smiled
"I work in a mini club I learnt. I personally drink Carlsberg."
"I drink Vodka." Charlotte slurred.
"I think someone needs to go home." I said to her.
"No i'm quite happy to watch how this unfolds." I whistled and motioned for her best friend Buffy to come and get her, Buffy's boyfriends Ricky high fived me and they left.
"Your best friend seems epic."
"Meh she's okay."
We got talking nicely and the rest of his friends left, he stayed to talk to me while I worked.
"Why haven't you gone yet?" I asked innocently after I told my boss he was with me and I would Lock the club up. We were the only two in the club.
"I wanna make sure you get home okay."
"Thank you but I get a taxi."
"Then the taxi can take you home and then me to my hotel." He looked at the bar.
"If you wish." I looked at him smileing.
"Um, Robyn.... can i have your number?"
"Yeah sure it's on my phone, put yours in too." I gave him my Iphone
I woke up the next morning to a text saying Morning beautiful xx from Oliver, the guy I met at the bar.
After nearly a year of dating around his year off. Oli said he wouldn't be around for a while but he'd make sure he'd call me and text me as much as he possibly could. He did as he said and I was thankful, I needed some concentration in my life as my degree got harder and my demand for modeling outside of my friendship group got more hecktic. This was about the time I realised the guy I was seeing was Oliver Sykes the front man of Bring Me The Horizon. This was pointed out to me by my mother who had recognised him from my wall.
It was a year later that Oli turned up on my door step, roses in hand and asked me to model for Drop Dead and live with him in Sheffeild. My mum wasn't happy with the Idea but let me anyway. I was now 20 and had finished Uni and was looking for work. This gave me chance to work and live on my own. So I moved in, I was happy, very, happy.