Kiss the Lips Of Evil

Without him I really am nothing. I didn’t want to do it, but that was the only way I could think to stop all of this. I was being hurt, not only physically, but emotionally. But Johnny was right, I am a dirty whore, a cheap slut that doesn’t deserve the things I have. Do you know what I do deserve? To be burried in a pine box and shoved into the ground. Without Ashley, I didn’t have anything, I was empty. Why did I have to break up with him? I’m such an idiot.
I got up from the couch in the front room and walked towards the back. I tried to open the door, but it was locked.
“Andy! I still love you! Please, come back to me...” I could hear Ashley crying hysterically. I wanted to go back to him, I wanted him next to me right now. It’s only been a few minutes, but I made a horrible mistake. I sat against the door, crying silently and listened to the pain I had caused Ashley. My phone vibrated in my pocket, scaring me. It was a new tweet from Ashley.

AshleyPurdy: I guess it just wasn’t meant to be, but baby I will always love you... ;-;

What could I tell to him that wouldn’t hurt him? He was still in pain, but hopeful that I would go back to him. I want to go back to him. Maybe something like that...

AndyBVB: Don’t worry baby, some day soon we’ll be together again. Now is just not the time. I’m sorry and I’ll always love you...

I tossed my phone away from me and buried my face in my legs. I regret this decision. I should have just talked to him. I could have just told him what happened and he would have forgiven me. He already knew that I did something terrible, but I was terrified, so I couldn’t make a right decision. I’m in an abusive relationship now. If I didn’t keep going to Johnny, then I’m sure he’d just hit me.
My phone vibrated again. I picked it up. I had a new text message from Ashley. I really didn’t want to read it, but I had to.

Ashley: Why?
Me: I had to. I’m so sorry.
Ashley: That’s not answering why though. That’s just excuses. Please just tell me what is happening. What is making you so upset that our relationship is dead because of it?
Me: I can’t... It hurts to much.
Ashley: You’d better tell me Andy or so help me

He was getting angry with me. I should tell him, since we aren’t together anymore.

Me: Remember that day we went to the park, and I went to the bathroom?
Ashley: Yes...
Me: I...

This was hard to type, but I knew I had to tell him:

Me: I... Had sex with Johnny in the bathroom. I knew it was wrong and I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to tell you because I had a feeling that you would be really mad at me for cheating again.

Ash didn’t reply. I heard a thud in the back room. There were more desperate cries, a scream, then a crash. He had empty whiskey bottles in the room with him, I’m sure he just broke one. I sat, waiting for him to come into the bunk room and yell at me, but nothing happened. I pressed my ear against the door, trying to hear what was happening, but there was no noise coming from the room. I was afraid of what was happening, what might happen.
I grabbed my phone and climbed into my old bunk and just waited. Before I knew it, minutes had gone by, hours and I had fallen asleep. In my dreams, everything was usually perfect, because I was with Ashley, but this time I wasn’t. Those cold blue eyes that I started to fear showed up in my dreams. Watching me as I slept, touching me, his disgusting lips touching my skin. I didn’t want it. The lips trailed down my chest, then pulled a knife and stabbed me in the heart. I could feel the burn as the knife made its way in and out of my fragile skin. Then the eyes changed color, to the same shade of brown as Ashley’s.
“This is what you’ve done to me Andy. You deserve to bleed, to die. You deserve this!” Ashley called out. He was crying tears of blood with a knife sticking out of his chest. Similar to the one he was using on me. The handle had my name on it and the one he was using had his. With the final stab, he twisted the knife, pulling out my hear and I fell to the floor.
I shot up out of my sleep, letting out a small scream. My heart was beating fast and I was covered in sweat. I wiped my forehead, ran my hands through my hair, then checked my chest. No knife, but the burning feeling was still there. I looked at the tattoo’s on my wrist. The red and black letters that formed a band around both of my wrists that read ‘Kiss The Lips Of Evil’, the same style as Ashley. I felt more tears fall down my face. I checked my phone for a new message from Ashley, secretly hoping that there would be something there.
There was nothing. I checked twitter, nothing. Facebook, nothing. He was probably cursing my name, wishing for me to die after what I’d done to him. My phone vibrated again. I was getting a phone call. Across the screen, I saw that number. The one that ruined everything I had with Ashley. The one that caused me nothing but pain. I debated not answering it, but picked up the phone for fear of what might happen if I didn’t.
“H-hello?” My voice was shaky, my chest was tight.
“Tonight after the show we’re all staying in hotel rooms. You’re gonna keep me company tonight.” Johnny said into the phone. I wasn’t in my relationship with Ash anymore. I didn’t have to put up with this, with him. If he told Ash, so what? We already broke up.
“No.” I said in the phone.
“What did you just say to me?” He growled. I’m sure that if I were in the same room as him, he would have hit me, like he did this morning. I refused to suck him off and swallow, so he punched me in the stomach.
“Y-you heard me. I said no. I’m not going to.” I was shaking from mostly fear. The things that he could do to me right now, it scared me.
“Fine then. I’ll just tell tell Ashley about what we’ve been up to. I’ll tell him that you and I had sex when you were still together. Then imagine what it’ll do to him. It’ll crush him, he’ll leave you.”
“Well you’re too late for that. Ash and I broke up an hour ago. I don’t deserve him, I’ve hurt him way too much, so I broke up with him.”
“You’re lying.”
“No I’m not. You can check twitter.” I heard the line go dead. I let out a shaky sigh and got up from my bunk. I looked over at the door to the back room and just kind of hoped that the door would be unlocked. I walked over to the door and reached for the knob. My heart twisted while I turned the knob, hearing the click. I pushed slowly, as the door opened, I didn’t want to walk in and see what I did, but I did. Broken glass everywhere, Ash passed out on the couch with a half a bottle of Jack in his hands. His face stained with tears, his phone on the floor next to my foot.
I walked over to him and kneeled on the floor in front of him. I kissed his forehead.
“It’ll be OK baby. Soon we’ll be together again. I know by then you probably won’t want me, but I’m here for you. I know I’ve hurt you so much over the past few months. I know all I’ve done was hurt and do things to hurt, but don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you. I promise that I’ll do something so large you’ll never question my love for you. You’ll never have to worry about any of this pain anymore. I promise you, baby everything will only get better from here on. The only thing I need is for you to take me back. Please, I was an idiot to let you go in the first place. I never wanted to, I just thought that-” I stopped when I felt arms grab me.