From Brilliant to Brutal
the games
My mummy didn’t come back! I had to spend day after day dreading what it would be like back at home, whether my mother had been drinking and whether she was in a good mood.
After the first time she had hit me she had continued to do so every time I did something against her rules – which I didn’t know myself; she seemed to make more up every time she was in a bad mood.
I had noticed over month that my sisters were all safe from her cruelty, they never got hit and mother still treated them like they were her angels, it was only me that got hit and was always doing things wrong. Even when mother was in a terrible mood with me she was always happy with her precious little baby’s, even though I was the youngest child of us all, obviously making me the worst and the biggest mistake of us all, it also made me an easy target, as she reminded me every other day.
“You weren’t meant to happen… you were the worst mistake I ever made!” I was use to these cruel words they were nothing new. I just prayed that they weren’t true and that I wasn’t a mistake and she did love me and want me. But after a while of her repeating those very same words, it made me think and start to believe her. My only hope was my father!
My father was still my hero when I was at home, he made sure one of my other sisters cleared away the dishes and I got to watch what I wanted on T.V. every now and then, I didn’t mind watching what one of my sisters wanted, just not all the time, I didn’t want to watch there crap all the time.
I felt liked I was doomed if my father stayed at work late (even though he did most of the time, so he wouldn’t become the reason of mothers terrible behaviour), when he wasn’t there I was mothers toy, she would play games with me! I would have to wash the dishes and clear the table in a time limit, other wise she would punish me by beating me to the floor so I couldn’t walk and then making me be servants for my sisters, they thought it was great having me to do all there work for them and get them drinks and snacks whenever they wanted. If I ever dared to try and get a drink or a snack for myself my mother would beat me! I use to plead with her saying I was really thirsty and dehydrated, but I soon learnt not to bother doing that as it made her get me a drink of water and but washing up liquid in it and stand over me waiting for me to drink it. If I refused, as I tried many times, she would force feed it to me! I always clasped after I took a sip of it but she would wake me up and carry on pouring it down my throat.
After the first time she had hit me she had continued to do so every time I did something against her rules – which I didn’t know myself; she seemed to make more up every time she was in a bad mood.
I had noticed over month that my sisters were all safe from her cruelty, they never got hit and mother still treated them like they were her angels, it was only me that got hit and was always doing things wrong. Even when mother was in a terrible mood with me she was always happy with her precious little baby’s, even though I was the youngest child of us all, obviously making me the worst and the biggest mistake of us all, it also made me an easy target, as she reminded me every other day.
“You weren’t meant to happen… you were the worst mistake I ever made!” I was use to these cruel words they were nothing new. I just prayed that they weren’t true and that I wasn’t a mistake and she did love me and want me. But after a while of her repeating those very same words, it made me think and start to believe her. My only hope was my father!
My father was still my hero when I was at home, he made sure one of my other sisters cleared away the dishes and I got to watch what I wanted on T.V. every now and then, I didn’t mind watching what one of my sisters wanted, just not all the time, I didn’t want to watch there crap all the time.
I felt liked I was doomed if my father stayed at work late (even though he did most of the time, so he wouldn’t become the reason of mothers terrible behaviour), when he wasn’t there I was mothers toy, she would play games with me! I would have to wash the dishes and clear the table in a time limit, other wise she would punish me by beating me to the floor so I couldn’t walk and then making me be servants for my sisters, they thought it was great having me to do all there work for them and get them drinks and snacks whenever they wanted. If I ever dared to try and get a drink or a snack for myself my mother would beat me! I use to plead with her saying I was really thirsty and dehydrated, but I soon learnt not to bother doing that as it made her get me a drink of water and but washing up liquid in it and stand over me waiting for me to drink it. If I refused, as I tried many times, she would force feed it to me! I always clasped after I took a sip of it but she would wake me up and carry on pouring it down my throat.
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