All The Thoughts Wasted On You

Brendon, you're a fool. You think Ryan doesn't know about the tricks? The ones you use to just go out to clubs and then ruin everything if Ryan were to see you?

Brendon likes to go out to clubs. To get away from Ryan, he uses stupid excuses that a seven year old would use to get out of school. When he's at the clubs, Ryan doesn't know that he drinks and turns into a slut. A transformation takes place - the foolproof, clever Brendon who loves Ryan turns into an uncontrollable drunken slut. He dances with other guys and he makes out with them like there's no end. Yet, Ryan's heard two of those stories and he doesn't take them too seriously. But, Brendon, he knows. he knows what you're up to, he just doesn't want to believe it, so he doesn't.

Ryan...is a nice, normal guy who can sing and plays guitar and is hopelessly in love with Brendon. Okay, yeah, he is a slut. But, he's Ryan's slut. Ryan is hopelessly hopeful that Brendon doesn't cheat on him every night with one-night stands and doesn't believe the truth because he doesn't want to. He doesn't believe Brendon's excuses and lies to get away, but gives into them. Stupid fuck.

Ryan, you're an idiot. An idiot! You just let him go and then he goes and cheats on you! Don't you know what he's like? He's a lying, cheating slut! Do you really want him as your boyfriend, Ryan? But you love him...of course you do. He's your boyfriend. If you didn't love him, he wouldn't be your boyfriend, would he? Stop being stupid!

Ryan, he wonders if he should confront Brendon. Part of him wants to say it, yet part of him doesn't. Part of him just wonders if he actually remembers due to his drinking, but another part tells him that he will remember.

God, Ryan, it's so damn confusing, isn't it? Why don't you just tell him? Tell him how you feel. Tell him he's a slut. You don't believe him anymore. But you still love him.

This is why it's so confusing! You love him still, but there are a million different parts of your mind telling you to do different things.

Face it, Ryan. You're a failure. You don't know what to do and you're wondering why you ever loved him in the first place. Why do you still love him? He's a slut!

On a social networking site, Ryan has his page. On his page, his default picture is himself smiling with Brendon, who is listening to his iPod. In one of his albums, there's a picture of him and Brendon together. Brendon is not wearing a shirt and their arms are around each other. Smiles are spread across both of their mouths.

So Brendon still takes it as he usually does with one-night stands and different people to shag in his drunken state. Brendon, he's taken by a guy, who looks as if he's about 25 and he starts to kiss Brendon. The guy, he's pretty, he's good looking, he's handsome. But he's not Brendon's type and he's not a good kisser. He's a total idiot. Brendon realises. He doesn't like him.

"Get away from me." Brendon says. He takes a bottle and smashes it against the guy's legs, where the glass tumbles down. Is Brendon coming to his senses, or is this man just not for Brendon?

Brendon stumbles back through the door and goes up to his bed. He lies, back to the bed and mutters profanity to himself.

"I'm such a slut." He says to himself, sighing over his lifestyle.

"But Bren, you're my slut." Ryan says at the door, giggling. They start to make out as if nothing has ever happened.

...but, Brendon, you're still a fool.