Forsaken Dreams

He was biting down on a sandwich when I entered the kitchen.

I didn’t say anything and so did he. And I liked it that way. For now. I sat down across from him on the round island. I took the other half of his sandwich on the plate and took a bite out of it. I chewed. I swallowed.. That’s when I started to eat and chew faster. I was so hungry, and I never realized.

Before I knew it, the sandwich was gone, but my stomach was still rumbling. I wiped the crumbs off. Meanwhile, I look up. I see Kip staring at me. I glare.
`
“What?”

“Nothing.”

He quickly looks down. I shrug and got to the fridge. I was still hungry. But when I looked in the fridge, everything involved cooking. Something of which I didn’t know how to do.

Before I came to this house, before today, I kept alive by easting canned food, and packaged wrapped food I found at houses. I never learned how to cook.; Now I wish it was a skill I learned. Too late now. I guess.

“Need any help?” I heard Kip say.

“No, I’m good.”

I grabbed all the ingredients to make an omelette. I don’t know how I’m going to do this but I’m willing to try.

I almost had it too. I was done cracking, mixing and ready to put it on the stove. But I was having a hard time figuring out the stove. Pathetic? Definitely. I’m seventeen, I should know how to do this. I just don’t. I guess its okay though. I was fifteen when all this happened. When kids my age was learning how to cook and such. I never got that chance.

“Are you sure?” Kip chuckled, peering at the stove.

“I’m fine.”

“Here.”

He was suddenly beside me, taking over. I let him. And I didn’t care. I watched him stir the omelette with a spatula, I watched him put ingredients and spices into the pan, I watched him flip the omelette into the air and finally, I watched him serve it onto a plate. One plate I noted. I was amazed though. I would never have been able to do that. I wish I could, so then I didn’t have to have him to do this for me.

“Thanks.” I say not looking at him as I sit. The omelette smelt so good. My mouth was starting to water. My stomach was growling. Louder than ever before. How many days has it been since I ate? 2? 3? 4? I don’t remember. But I knew I had to start eating it before I ate something that I would regret later.

I ate. And before I knew it, the last piece was gone. My stomach still faintly growled, but I was done eating. I’ll eat later. For now, I need to confront Kip.

“Kip.”

“Hmmm?” He said, lost in thought. He looks up at me into my eyes.

I wanted to shy away but I had to stay rooted. I had to be stern when I start asking my questions. I stared deep into his dark chocolate eyes with my emerald ones. I need him to know how serious this is before I start.

“Tell me what happened Kip. I need to know.” I finally tell him. No quiver or shakiness in my voice.

“I-” He started to say. Nothing came out after that.

That’s when I realized that this was the first time I saw Kip hesitate and unsure of himself. He was always ready for action but at this moment, he seemed surprised, shocked even. Maybe it was because of me. But that didn’t make sense.

I was getting angry now. He cant avoid this. I knew he knew something. I just needed to know what.

“Kip…” My nerves all jumbled up. So anxious to hear what he needed to tell me, even if he didn’t want to. “…tell me now! What happened to my mother?”

He looked up abruptly then. His eyes cold, haunting, and curious.

“She was your mother?”

“Yeah.” I whispered. “Please, Kip. What happened to her? Did I?-” I cleared my throat and gulped. “…kill her?”

He stared at me for awhile. Like he was searching through my eyes, my thoughts. It made me uncomfortable.

His voice evaporated my thoughts.

“Yes. That woman was dead when I got there to save you.”

“Thank you.” I managed to say.

He nodded. “It wasn’t a problem. I enjoy killing those fucking flesh-eaters.”

I flinched at the swear word. Yeah, before the apocalypse I swore all the time. But now, it didn’t seem right. I learned to speak differently.

“How? How did I kill her? Do you know?”

He shook his head no.

I believed him. But why did he hesitate in the beginning when I asked him? I knew he was hiding something. Something about me? Who knows. But either way, it felt like I needed to know. I wasn’t going to force it out of him. I would never do that. I will find a way.

I gaze at him. As did he. We sat there, just staring. And I had a feeling he knew what I was thinking.