Forsaken Dreams

The next morning, I wake to a soft hum of a person breathing, and the warmth to a persons touch. My eyelids flutter open. I was laying on the floor, an arm was draped along my side. For a moment, in the half-conscious dizzy space between waking and sleeping, I wondered who it was. I wondered if I was a little kid again and my mother was laying beside me playing with my blonde hair, whispering stories, and telling me that my nightmares aren’t real. Dark, creepy nightmares. My heart skittered in my chest.

Now entirely awake, I twisted around under the large towel. Beside me was Kip, lying on his side, asleep. Dim daylight made a halo out of his hair and he was gorgeous as ever.

As crazy as this sounds, I wanted to stay there and never move. It was the most comfortable place I’ve been to since the apocalypse.

I stayed like that for an hour, and then I knew I had to get up now. I couldn’t let him see me like this. See us like this. I slowly lifted his arm a tad bit over, and slid right out. Well that’s what I hoped happened. I was still stuck. He moved or fluttered his eyelids every time I tried to get out. Urgh, this is hopeless. He finally lifted his arm to wipe sleep from his eyes.

Oh crap, oh crap!

I was really hoping he would fall back asleep, and that would have happened too if we weren’t sleeping on this uncomfortable floor. He woke up. I knew he also saw me laying beside him because there was a long pause. Long. I pretended I was asleep so I could avoid confrontation. It wasn’t like I made this happen. Okay, maybe I had a small part in it, but still!

I expected him to get up and act like this never happened, or worse, scoff in disgust. But he didn’t. Instead, he rested his hand on my hair and started brushing it with his fingers. I smiled. How sweet! Can it just be this? This and nothing else in the world. Just us. I knew the answer. It was no. Plus, JJ was out there somewhere, and I couldn’t do that to him.

I kept my breathing even and rhythmic, still pretending to be asleep. I even mumbled a few times. Making sure it was convincing. After what felt like hours, he finally got up. In the meantime, he cleaned himself up, changed his clothes, and started to make breakfast.

I would have stayed on the floor longer if it wasn’t for the smell of the food. I could hear the bacon sizzle, and smell the eggs. My mouth watered. I got up, knowing my hair was messy, but I didn’t care.

“Hey.” I said to him sitting on the stool at the island table.

He nodded in my direction.

After a pause he said, “I assume you like bacon, right?”

“Yeah I do.”

“Good.”

Our conversation didn’t seem like much, but I loved it. It felt like home. These were the kind of conversations me and my mom would have. Random, short, and to the point. I smiled at how awkward they used to be.

“What?” Kip said, his smile matching mine.

“Oh, nothing.”

He finished cooking and served us both. It was so delicious. This was a luxury I sure missed.

“Thank you Kip.”

“Of course.”

“No, for everything.”

He looked at me then, and searched my face for reassurance. After he knew I was serious, he nodded and smiled.

“No problem, Kaelee. It’s my pleasure.”

I said nothing and looked down.

“Thank you for the company,” he said.
I looked up and met his eyes. I saw humour and amusement in them.

“I’m actually surprised.” I said.

“At what?”

“That you were able to handle me.” I laughed, I couldn’t keep it in anymore.

He laughed a harmonious laugh, and then he snorted, which made me laugh harder. We both did. It had to be a good fifteen minutes before we stopped. Even then we were wheezing, trying to catch our breath.

Everything was finally calm and back to silence.

That’s when JJ came to my mind.

He needs you.

You cant forget about him.

He’ll never forgive you.

The voices said crowding my mind. And they were right.

“Kip, I have to leave soon.”

“I’ll come with you. We need firewood anyways.”

I sighed. “No, leave for real. Permanently.”

His smile disappeared.

“Why?” he replied.

“We had a deal remember? I’ll tell you everything I know about this apocalypse, not that you need it, for you to let me stay here for a couple of days. Honestly, I thank you immensely for your hospitality.”

“But why do you have to leave so soon?”

“I told you.”

“A couple more days wouldn’t hurt.”

“No they wouldn’t, but I have to.”

He went quiet. I looked at his face, and it almost made me want to cry. His face was heartbreaking. Suddenly, his face went cold and looked up.

“Fine.”

“Kip, are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I-”

“Kaelee, just stop. Okay?”

Kip left the kitchen and went up the stairs. I could hear him and his footsteps were heavy, which meant he obviously was mad. And he was mad at me. My throat felt tight and heavy. I did this.