Forsaken Dreams

XXVIII

"You can stop staring." I heard him say.

But that's the thing, I couldn't. I was too frozen to move. I was used to the limps gone on the dead but not someone who was living.

"Come here." He said.

I started to tell him I couldn't move but nothing came out. My voice was gone. Just breathless air is all that remained now.

I thought I had seen everything. But this moment has actually shaken me to the core. I really feel horrible. Not frightened, just horrible and sick. If I just throw up even though I'm not actually ill, will I feel less shaken?

I just want to curl up in my warm, soft bed at home right now. To have something solid in this spinning world. I want to write again. And I want a hug from my mother.

How does this happen? How does seeing something disturbing make your body actually sick?

I never thought this was possible. Maybe it's natural to be upset when something bad happens to you or someone you know. I wanted to think of something else other than the fact that his lifeless arm was detached from his body. That instead of small spills of blood from aiding him before, there was a flood.
I swallowed and looked away. And I thought of birds.

One of the only things that haven't deceived me, haven't let me down, haven't turned, and haven't made my messed up life more complicated than it already is.

I wanted to be back on the rooftops where the wind is even more hectic. Where I can be free and soar, like the birds. I sometimes dream about being a bird. A bird doesn't have to live like this. Their life actually got simpler since the apocalypse happened. No people to disturb or frighten them. None held against their will anymore.

The dead don't care for them. It's like they don't exist in their empty brains. They are apart yet free from this world. Something I would like to be.

"Please!"

His plea jolt me right back to reality and away from my fantasies. I look at him now. I don't feel sick anymore.

"Yes?" I say, my voice hoarse. I smile a little to the fact that I got my voice back.

"I'm sorry.." He says as he puts his head down.

"What?" I say all so quietly. "What are you sorry for?" This time a little louder.

I manage to take a step towards him, and when I do, I catch a tear falling down his face. This makes me get to him faster.

"Hey." I put my hand on his arm in empathy
and he says, "I'm sorry you had to see this. I'm sorry you're wasting your time on me. I'm just sorry."

"Don't be. I'm alright. Don't worry about me."

"I had no choice. I had to do this.."

"I know." I nod.

"I hope you understand." He said weakly.

"And I do."

I stood, lifted my shirt halfway up and started unbuckling my belt, taking it out from the hoops of my jeans, and I wrapped it tight around his arm above the elbow. And then I snatched the ointment and hydrogen peroxide from the first aid kit to clean the bleeding area so no other infections start. He gasped and closed his eyes shut at the stinging I know it was causing.

"It just hurts for a moment." I said casually. He just nodded without looking at me.

After I was done cleaning and aiding yet a second time, I threw away the bloodied paper towels and used up ointment in the trash can. Before I could turn around to get back to him, I heard a thank you.

I look at him instantly. "Thank you for all that you've done. I appreciate it more than you know."

"No problem." I smiled kneeling next to him again.

He shifted weight onto the right side of his body so he can extend his whole left arm. "My name is Seth Risk."

"Kaelee." I said, still smiling, shaking his hand.
♠ ♠ ♠
Meep!
Seth <3

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