Alone.

02

I keep crying. No longer caring to stop it. Screaming, loud screeching in my head. My face in my hands as the man in the suit tells me that I’m an orphan and that my parents aren’t my real parents. I‘m five.

“Your mother…was a irresponsible person. She…put you in a dumpster, where we found you as a baby.” He kept pausing as if trying to see that I was listening. I was. How could anyone not want to know about themselves, about their family? All those years…I didn‘t know. I was happy with the two people I thought were my parents, the three people I thought were my siblings.

“We, your foster parents and I, thought it was time to let you know about your family…and what happened. We, uh, took some blood work, and your DNA matched with a man named James Hart. We believe him to be your biological father…”

My father? I don’t know why the man was telling me this. I could hardly understand, but if he is my father, my real father. I need to know. As a child, I have never ever been so sad in my entire life. I thought I lived the perfect life up until now, until this day.

“…as for your mother, she pleaded guilty and admitted to…getting rid of you. She’s in jail now Mathai. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Get rid of me? Tears came faster this time. I never felt so unwanted before. So alone. The man said that there is nothing wrong with the family I was living with now and can continue to live with them. That the paperwork had been finalized. But I didn’t care about that. I wanted to know more about my real father, James Hart.

“What about my daddy?” I say finally speaking. My small little voice cracking from the crying.

“He’s…not here.”

“Where did he go? I want to know. Where is he?” I screamed this time. Everyone in the office cubicle staring at me. I didn’t care.

He clears his throat and loosens his tie. “Calm down Mathai.”

“Then where is he?” I whisper this time. All my energy, all my resolve plummeted.

“I’m so sorry…he’s, uh…dead. He died around the time you were born, found in his home a week after his…”

I stopped listening, not caring even if it was important. A lump formed in my throat. More tears threatening to fall. I grew cold and shivered. I knew why this man and my foster parents shared this with me now. Because my real father was dead. They found out and got worried. That’s why they were all acting weird for weeks. Whispering to each other and stopped whenever I came into the room.

This was why.

~


The memory was so vivid, so detailed, that it was hard enough not to remember it. Even though I was five, It was still so easy to remember that day when my little world came tumbling down. The day I found out my little world wasn’t so little anymore. I often miss the little girl, whose dreams had no barriers, who believed in a world where anything is possible, with a heart that was full and unbroken. Sometimes I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all.
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Hello!!! :)
This story is going to be average moving I don't plan on it being super long, probably between 30-40 chapters...? Well, I guess that's long...I kind of want it to be around the length of Hang but we'll see how it goes. After all, this story is it's sequel ;)
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