Daily Beatings

I leaned against the fence in front of me. The only thing separating me from the stage where soon the boys of Marianas Trench would march out and play my favourite songs straight to me.
I wasn’t big on reality, which made it quite easy to pretend that the other hundred or so people weren’t here at this tiny concert for a local band. I could pretend it was just me and my best friend - Carter Andrea.
“I can’t believe your dad actually bought us tickets!” Carter squealed, jumping up and down.
“They were only like, 10 bucks.”
“Yes, but once Marianas Trench gets super-duper famous they’ll be like 50 a piece.” A dream of ours, to watch ‘our boys’ make it big. So far - with an album and two music video’s out - they weren’t doing very well.
“It’s hard to believe you can still play the ‘Daddy’s little girl’ roll at 21…kinda pathetic actually, Sam.” Carter said to me, leaning on the fence beside me.
“It’s a talent I will never give up. Besides, he’s been buying us tickets since we were 13.”
“Have we ever paid him back?”
“Ha! Hell no.”
“I love your dad.” We were broken from our conversation by a loud scream on stage. I couldn’t help it, I answered with a squeal and a jump.
The band immediately went into playing Say Anything. My favourite song of theirs. I sang along to every line and actually started crying with joy. God, I’m a fan girl.
“So how you guys doing tonight!?” Josh yelled out to the small crowd. Carter and I were honestly the most excited to be there. It seemed everyone else was there because of cheap ticket prices. “We are Marianas Trench, and I apologize.” Josh spoke into the mic. I knew he wasn’t looking at me but I gave him my best ‘no.’ look.
The band played song after song; I leaned against the fence and stared up to Josh’s beautiful face. To believe, this man was only 3 years older than my 21 year old self. Close enough in age that we could be friends. I sighed with them impossible dream.
*
“You need a ride home?” Carter asked as we searched the parking lot for her brothers Bronco.
“Naw, I drove here on my own. George is in the back.” George was my beat up old 77’ Camaro. Once a sought after muscle car, now a piece of shit on wheels.
“You drove five blocks in George?” Carter looked at me in awe.
“I’m very proud of him, thank you very much.” I said, hugging Carter goodbye as Tony’s Bronco came into sight.
“Well…Be safe. And call me when you get home.” Carter said. She had absolutely no faith in my precious Georgey.
I walked farther down the parking lot to my piece of shit. I know, I’m rather bi-polar in how I see him.
I jiggled the handle a few times before he allowed me to enter. I sighed and leaned again the seat, thinking of the amazing night I just had. Laughing to myself, I jabbed the key into the ignition and turned.
George made a sickly groaning noise, and then went silent.
“Oh no…Oh no, no, no.” I chanted, turned the key again. The same happened. George sputtered then gave up.
“Not tonight, baby, not tonight.” I spoke to him, stroking the dashboard encouragingly. I turned the key once more.
Nothing.
“God dammit!” I screamed and hit my head on the steering wheel. I felt hot tears sting my eyes.
This is what I called my monthly break down. I guessed it was PMS allowing the strength I had to let loose and I remembered all I should be crying about, and did.
My band was failing, leaving me with no money and mooching off of my older sister, Jessica.
I had a better chance of finding Waldo than a boyfriend.
My mom died when I was 15.
Carter was my only friend.
I had no real job.
I let myself cry it out for at least a good hour before I decided I needed to pop Georges hood and at least try to fix the problem, whatever it may have been.
As soon as I opened the door I was hit with an icy rain. “Fuck you, Vancouver.” I grumbled, realizing I had left my jacket at home.
I popped open the hood. I stared at the abyss of metal parts and plastic caps.
I’m fucked. I thought, poking at what I believed to be the engine.
I poked and prodded at it for hours. Continuously going to back and trying to start it again. Nothing ever changed.
By my fifteenth round back into the car I was crying. Giving up, I flipped open my phone, a charge battery message flashed back at me.
“FUCK IT ALL!” I screamed and fell back against the front bumper.
I curled myself in a ball, resting my back against the bumper I let myself weep on the cold, wet cement. Terrible Vancouver weather beating against the back of my waist length brown hair.
I sat there for god knows how long - weeping over my wasted life – before I heard footsteps coming towards me.
Serial killers or harmless civilians, I didn’t care. I kept my head down and continued to cry.
One of the two people responsible for the footsteps draped something over my shoulders and picked me up –picked me up! I didn’t even give a fuck as they began carrying me off, I simply cried into their shoulder as the other closed the hood on George and took my keys from the ignition.
“You sure you know her, Josh?” The other person asked the one carrying me. I seized up, realizing who they were.
“Not sure, Matt.” Joshua Ramsay spoke. Holy mother pickles. “But she was front row and kept smiling at me. I think I recognize her from somewhere.”
School. I wanted to say something but didn’t. For a short 5 months I had attended the same school as Josh Ramsay. I didn’t really know him - and he dropped out half way through the year - but he had probably seen me in the halls.
We entered a small room - which I guessed was the green room at this tiny venue. Josh set me down on the couch. The thing he had put around my shoulders was his sweater, which I now pushed my arms into.
“You okay?” He asked as Matt walked away to finish whatever it was he was doing before.
“Um…ya…A little cold I guess…” I said, trying to refrain from passing out.
“I’m Josh.” Josh held his hand out to me.
“Samantha Greene.” I shook it and smiled.
“So, Samantha…why exactly were you crying in the rain?” Josh asked, sitting down beside me.
“Um…my car broke down.” I said, giving him an innocent smile.
“You need a ride home?” He asked.
“Yeah…t-thanks.” I was surprised when Josh gave me the biggest smile I had even seen.
“Now I remember you!” He said. “Stuttering Sammy.”
“Oh dear god no.” I moaned, letting my head fall into my hands.
“Hey, sorry. That was mean.” Josh bent down to my height. “I meant that I’ve been trying to remember where I knew you from since I saw you in the crowd.”
Stuttering Sammy was a name the 12th graders called me in my first year of high school – Josh included. On the bright side, it helped me get over my stuttering problem.
“Yes, I was the laughing stock of Magge Secondary.” I sighed. “You yourself, Mr. Ramsay, weren’t exactly a cool cat either if I remember correctly.”
“Touché.” Josh laughed. Sitting up straight he gestured for Matt to come over to the couch we sat on. “Hey Matty, I do know her.” Josh said, smiling. “Sammy Greene. From school…You might remember her sister.” Josh winked at Matt.
Huh? What does Jessica have to do with them? She was a year older than them! “Jess Greene?” Matt’s eyes light up as he spoke her name. “I haven’t seen her in years!”
“Can someone please fill me in on what the fuck is happening right now?” I asked, shyly raising my hang.
“Matt dated your sister back in school.” Josh nudged him in the ribs. “He was grade 11, her 12. She probably never told you.” He said, giving me a kind smile. “Sisters are evil bitches.”
I giggled. Then mentally kicked myself. Giggling!? Samantha Christine Greene you do not giggle! Especiallynot in front of Joshua Ramsay.
“It’s a small world after all…” Matt sang softly and went back over to the guitars he was packing.
“Now, Sammy. I promised you a ride and I will stick to my promise until the day I die, but-” Josh stood up, placing his fist over his heart.
“Thanks Josh, I really appric-” I said, smiling.
“I’m not finished.” Josh cut me off. “But, we have a problem. I need to help the guys finished cleaning up then go with them in the van back to the house. From there I can get my car and give you a ride to your place.” Josh gave me a nervous smile. “You down?”
“I’m down.” I laughed at his poor choice of words. “I have no other way home. Besides, I can help. I’m in a band myself.” I said, pushing myself off the couch. “But…um…” I said, remembering something. “Do you have a phone I can use?” I asked Josh. “I told Carter I’d call when I got home but she’s probably having a mental break down already.”
“Oh ya, sure.” Josh said, pulling a phone from his pocket. The same type as the dead one that rested in piece in the pocket of Josh’s sweater I still wore.
“Thanks!” I took the phone and began dialing Carter’s familiar number. Josh stood there awkwardly and watched me until Mike called him over for something.
“Who is this!?” Carter answered the phone. She sounded like she was sick with worry, paranoid, and irritable.
“Cart, it’s me.” I said, laughing.
“Oh my god you’re alive! I thought maybe George ate you!” She said, I could almost see her fall back down onto her couch, throwing her feet up. Grateful that she could relax.
“Ya, he tried. Broke down right there in the parking lot. I’ve been trying to get him going for a while.” I explained.
“Oh, do you need a ride? I can get Tony to come get you?” Carter only had a learner’s permit, so usually she just bummed rides off of Tony.
“Naw, I ran into some guys we knew in high school.” I said, looking over at Josh awkwardly attempting to wrap cords around his arm.
“Ooh, who?” Carter asked. “Not one of those douche bags that called us names? Please not one of them!”
“No…well…not really. Sorta…Yeah 100% But he’s nice and…and I’m using his minuets bye Carter!” I said, flipping the phone shut. “Okay…next…” I said to myself, opening the phone once again and dialing Jess’s number.
“Hello?” She asked.
“Hey Jessie.” I sighed.
“Sam where the hell are you.”
“Uh…if I told you the truth you’d come get me…”
“Sammy…”
“George broke down and Josh Ramsay is gonna give me a ride home in a bit.” I confessed. I was truly terrified of my older sister.
“WHAT!?” She screamed, I held the phone from my ear.
“Kay thanks bye!” I said quickly and shut it. “God people.” I said, wandering over to where Josh was still tangled in assorted wide cables. All the awkward I had felt around him came rushing back.
“Uh…Here’s your phone back…” I held out the phone to him.
“That’s all fine and dandy but I’m stuck.” He said. He was seated cross legged surrounded by wires. I laughed at him. He stuck his tongue out at me. “I could make you walk home in the rain…?”
“Okay, okay.” I said laughing. I found the end of a thick orange cord and tugged on it. It was wrapped tightly around Josh’s ankle at least six times. “How the hell did you manage that?”
“I’m a ballerina on the side.” Josh said, tugging at the wire on his ankle. "I was practicing twirling.”
“I’m pretty sure they’re called pirouettes, Josh.” I bent down to help him. We managed to unwrap most cords from his various limbs in under ten minutes.
“So what did your friend have to say?” I was sitting on the floor untying a cord from Josh’s shoelace – however that happens – when he asked the question. I looked up at him through a curtain of dark brown bangs.
“Huh?” I asked.
“Well, you were on my phone for a while. I figured she was freaking out or something.”
“Oh, no. I just told her I ran into some friends from high school. My sister on the other hand may eat your hands.” I went back to working on Josh’s shoe.
“Oh my, won’t that be exciting.” Josh said in such a sarcastic tone that I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Hey Ramsay!” Josh and I both looked to where Ian was leaning in the back stage door. “You done yet?” He asked.
“Almost.” I called back. Ian lifted an eye brow. Josh just gave him a nod and we ducked back out of the door.
“You need any help?” Josh asked as I lugged cords onto my shoulder.
“Yeah sure just don’t fuck it up.” I said, pointing to the other pile on the ground.
“Yes captain.” Josh saluted me and ducked down to grab the cords. Helping Josh untangle himself seemed to be some sort of weird bonding. I didn’t feel as awkward talking to him anymore.
We lugged the cords out to they’re band van and shoved them in the back with all the other band stuff. I yawned as Josh closed the back door.
“Tiered?” Josh asked. I didn’t have the energy for a witty remark, I just nodded. “Well, I’ll have you home soon.” Josh promised and opened the door into the van for me.
Ian – who was in the driver’s seat - turned around to do a quick head count. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had once left someone behind at a show. All were accounted for – Josh, Matt, Mike, of course Ian, Brett, and Andrew.
They all looked at me as I put on the seat belt in the back seat. I swallowed awkwardly.
Josh crawled back and buckled in next to me. “Guys this is Samantha Greene. I went to high school with her.” Josh introduced me. I gave an awkward wave.
“S-Sam.” I stuttered. “Just Sam.” Each of the guys introduced themselves in turn as Ian started driving.
After about ten minutes of driving and listening to the Foo-Fighters play from the CD player I turned to Josh.
“How far away do you guys live?” I asked him quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear for some reason. I just felt out of place.
“We’ve gotta drop of Andrew and Brett first, they live separately in west Van. Then back to east and I can get my car and get you home…where do you live?”
“East. Thank god.” I fell back against the seat. We had a boring, longish drive a head of us. Traffic wasn’t bad, but the lights still changed colour. And this was Vancouver, there was always traffic. Saying it wasn’t bad meant it was like Langley traffic. Slow as hell. Vancouver was like a genetic mutation between a snail and a slug minus 10 speed points.
I sighed and let my mind wander. I was in a van with Marianas Trench. Think of it that way, it was like my dream come true.
Before long I felt my eyes slip closed and my consciousness slip away. I dreamt of butterflies.