Bliss

Blaine's had this dream before. It's a terrible dream, a nightmare actually, and it never seems to end. Even when the actual nightmare part has passed, he's still stuck in this dream he can't get out of and he doesn't know when he will wake up from it. He doesn't know how far the dream will go and if it ever ends.

It always starts in the same place, a bathroom. Kurt's bathroom, if he needs to be specific about it. He knows its Kurt's bathroom because once day Kurt had taken the time to explain what his home looked like, even his bathroom. Blaine knows Kurt's mother helped design it before he was born. The walls are tiled with ivory and light peach colored ceramics and the room even seems to smell like peaches. It's just the way Kurt described it to him, and even thought his mind might be a little off, it is a dream. Does it really matter?

He can hear the sounds downstairs and he sighs. Blaine knows what happened next, and it breaks his heart. He can't stand to watch the events unfold, but he can't stop from watching when they do. He hopes that maybe, one night, the dream will change.

He stands in the corner of the bathroom as Kurt walks in, looking tired and labored. He watches as the younger boy turns on the tub faucets and lets the hot water start to fill. Kurt throws his things in the corner and Blaine turns away. He can hear (or at least imagine hearing) Kurt getting undressed, and even though he knows it's not real, he feels like he shouldn't be watching. Blaine's always been shy when it comes to things like that.

When he does turn back around, Kurt's in the tub and covered almost to the neck in bubbles. The first time he had this dream, he thought it was kind of adorable, but he knows better now. Now he can see the tears on Kurt's face, the hurt his sighs express, and the way he just lays in the water with his eyes shut, not moving. He almost looks like he is in a pained sleep.

Blaine sits on the counter of the sink near the tub as the rest of the dream unfolds. He watches as Kurt stretches an arm out to slide something out from underneath the floor-mat. Something small, sharp, and silver. He watches as Kurt holds it with his soapy fingers, and Blaine sighs himself. He wants nothing more than to snatch it from Kurt's hands, to take it and throw it out the small bathroom window, to tell Kurt that this isn't right and that everything will be okay.

He tried it the first few times, but nothing ever happened. He's just a bystander, unable to stop as Kurt closes his eyes once more, takes the blade, and drags it roughly across his wrists. He watches, tears stinging his eyes because he knows he is helpless in this situation, as Kurt drags it a few more times and then repeats with the other wrist. The younger boy's hands are shaking and Blaine is crying. It takes more slices for the second wrist because the first is so weak, the cuts aren't as deep, and Kurt is in so much pain. Despite it, he's smiling. He's happy that the essence of his life is flowing from the sliced vein and into the soapy water.

Blaine sits on the counter and watches in tears as Kurt takes those last few breaths of life, and breathes no more. The tub water is a russet color and blood runs down the white porcelain sides. He turns himself to look at the clock on the wall across from the bathtub. It's one of those fancy digital ones, the kind that tells not only the time, but the date, and, for some reason, the temperature outside. Blaine blinks a few times, because he's finally noticed a difference in this dream.

The clock reads 10:10 p.m. and the numbers on the clock are flashing. Never ever have they flashed before, and Blaine is curious. Why, of the twenty or thirty times Blaine has had this dream, is it that they flash time? The date doesn't flash, it just stays the same. The longer Blaine looks at the clock, the slower the time seems to blink, and eventually it stops. Then, slowly, the clock changes from 10:10 p.m. to 10:09 p.m.

That's strange.

Blaine stares at it curiously, aware that the room is lit only by sunlight coming in through the bathroom window.

It couldn't be ten at night, it should have been the afternoon. Kurt had just gotten home, and he could hear a car in the driveway, meaning it could only be around five or five-thirty in the afternoon. This clock wasn't making any sense at all.

He ignores the rest of the dream, trying to figure out the mystery that is this clock. It's not like he's missing anything else important in this nightmare, he's had it hundreds of times. He knows that it's Finn in the driveway, coming home from football practice and that the boy will be the first to find Kurt. Then, Finn will call Burt, who'll rush home, as Finn makes another call for an ambulance.

It was difficult to ignore the scene without being emotional, and he sobbed the first few nights. As time went on however, he had learned to calm his feelings by repeating the fact that it was only a dream, yet it never stopped the ache in his heart as he watched Kurt's body being carried away in a black body bag.



Blaine wakes up in a cold sweat, his heart racing, and even though he knows better, looks to his clock. He wants to see the flashing numbers say 9:30 pm but they instead they tell him that it's only 6:30 am and he has just slept thought another nightmare. He hears noise downstairs and knows that his sister and grandmother are already up for the day, both of them being early risers. He can't decide whether he should go join them or lie back down to try and sleep again.

He rolls over and closes his eyes, knowing since it's the first day of summer vacation he doesn't have to really get up this early. Sleep is going to elude him, he knows this, but it can't hurt to try. The back of his eyelids act only as a screen for his mind to show the most vivid parts of his nightmare again and again, so he gives up. Rolling out of bed, he looks in the mirror across and sees that his hair is a ruffled mess, his shirt is twisted around, and the sheets are tangled in a giant knot atop the bed. He must have moved around a lot during the dream, even though he was quite still in his head.

Downstairs, he's greeted by his little sister Cat, who is happily buzzing around the kitchen in her kitten pajamas helping their grandmother make breakfast. The older woman is simply smiling at the youngest child but watching Blaine closely, like she knows that something is wrong. She doesn't say anything though and that's how Blaine knows she knows that he's not alright. She simply smiles and goes back to work, waiting until either he tells her straight out or she can get him alone to pull it out of him.

"We're making pancakes, Blainey! Grandma says I get to help flip them since I told her that Mommy wouldn't let me!" Cat bounced happily over, joining her older brother on one of their grandmother's bar chairs. He has to help her a little because she's still a little shorter than the chair, only being six years old, but still super proud that she made it up.

"Well, how else are you supposed to learn?" Their grandmother smiled at them and again gave Blaine a look like he should be telling her what was wrong, "Cat, come help stir." The older woman handed a yellow mixing bowl to the smaller girl and gave Blaine a look that pretty much said 'Follow me.' Blaine rose from the bar chair and followed his grandmother into her living room, leaving his sister to stir the sticky batter.

"What's wrong Blaine, you don't look well." So she could tell.

"Nothing's wrong. I just didn't sleep well last night." Blaine lied. It wasn't a total lie, but it was better than admitting that he actually hadn't slept well in months.

"You're lying Blaine. You've always been a terrible liar." She smiled as her grandson ducked his head in embarrassment.

"It's a nightmare. I've had it for a while now and every time I wake up from it I can't get back to sleep. I'm stuck lying in bed until it's normally time for me to get up and go to school. I'm scared to sleep because I don't know how far exactly the dream will go."

"Did you ever think it might mean something?" His grandmother asked and Blaine stared at her, a little confused.

"How in the world could that even mean anything. He kills himself!" Blaine shouted, which only made it easier for his grandmother to hear him.

"He? This dream is about a boy?" She smiled and Blaine looked away, feeling embarrassed again.

"Yeah, it's about a boy. I met him this year because his glee club sent him to spy on ours. He's really nice, sweet, and so kind. He's bullied though, the way I was before I transferred to Dalton. He's braver than I was though, he stayed." Blaine said and she nodded, seeing how just thinking about this boy brought up her grandson's mood.

"Explain the dream to me." She said.

Blaine explained about how he always finds himself in Kurt's bathroom, about how he's there before Kurt is. How he watches as Kurt kills himself in the bathtub and Finn finds his dead step-brother there. Then the funeral they have for him, how Kurt is fixed to perfection and lays silently in the casket before they lay him down into the ground. He tells her about how sometimes the dream doesn't make it to the funeral and how other times it continues to the next few days after Kurt's died and his family is mourning. He even tells her about the clock last night, how time started going backwards.

"That's very interesting Blaine. It's very, very interesting. Have you told this boy?" She asked and Blaine shakes his head.

"No, I can't tell him. He'll think I'm crazy, that I've lost my mind and need to be put away. I'd never tell him that I dream about him doing something so morbid." He said and she shook her head, getting up from the couch.

"Fine, do what you want. But I have a feeling that the clock in your dream had a reason for going backwards like that. Maybe you only have so much time left to do something. Unfortunately, I'm not you, so I don't know your exact feelings towards this boy, nor am I him. The way you talk about him though, and the amount of worry this dream has put you through, I think it might be something a little more than friendly in your mind." She said and Blaine sat there, stunned at his grandmother while the older woman walked back in the kitchen to teach her granddaughter how to properly flip a pancake.



Later that day, Blaine was laying on the couch, supervising his sister as she played on the carpet with her dolls. He could feel himself drifting off to sleep but he didn't want to. He didn't want the dream again. His eyes were getting heavy.

Again he found himself in the Hummels' restroom and a tub full of bloody water. Kurt had already died, and he wasn't with Kurt's family. He glanced at the clock, which was still going in reverse. When he had awoken from the first dream, it had read 9:30 and now, it read 3:27 and was still going back. Was his grandmother right? Was this clock really counting down to something. If it was, then to what?

"Blaine!" He woke back to reality, staring at his little sister's giant hazel eyes. She looked ready to cry.

"What's wrong Cat? Is Grandma back yet?" He asked and the little girl shook her head.

"Alice's shoe is under the couch, and that's where the evil bunnies live. Can you get it for me?" Blaine sighed, silently wishing that he had come up with a better way to teach his sister a way to keep her room clean then by telling her that evil bunny rabbits made of dirt would eat everything that got shoved up underneath her bed. He had told her it applied to everything, even the couch. Now, his sister was scared to try and get anything out from either place.

Blaine ducked underneath the couch and grabbed around for the doll's tiny shoe and felt his finger's brush against something that could have been it. He pulled out a small blue plastic shoe and handed it to his sister before sitting back on the couch and pulling out his phone. He typed out a quick hello to Kurt and sent it, immediately waiting for a reply. He wanted to prove to himself that they dream meant nothing, that his friend was perfectly fine and that there was absolutely nothing to be worried about. Sure, he might not get an answer since he was still in school. Dalton got out a day before McKinley did, and their school day also ended an hour after Dalton's. Whether Kurt answered or not was all up to what he was doing.

His phone vibrated beside him and he immediately grabbed it and opened the new message. It was from hello from Kurt and that alone was very scary. Never had Kurt just texted him a simple 'hello', it was always a 'hey, how are you.' or 'hello, how is it going?" never just a 'hello'.

Blaine texted back a simple request, something they normally did. He asked him to get coffee; even mentioning that it was his treat. Kurt never turned down a chance for coffee after school. He would wait for Kurt's obvious agreement and then get ready to meet him at the Lima Bean, to have conversations about what they planned to do that summer.

"Blainey…"

"Yes Cat?" He turned back to his sister, who was still playing with her dolls. She slipped a pink dress on one and looked at him.

"Do you like Kurtsie?" She asked and Blaine was taken aback.

"Where in the world… why would you think that, Cat? Kurt is my friend."

Cat looked at her older brother, and shrugged, "I dunno, you just always seem to give him those funny looks. Like the ones the princesses give princes in the movies. They always get married and have a happily ever after, so I figured that because you give Kurtsie those looks, you two would get married and have a happily ever after."

"Oh really now? And just when do I happen to give Kurt these 'looks' that you say I do?" Blaine stared at his sister, who continued dressing up the plastic toys in front of her, the TV mumbling lowly in the background.

"When you invite him over and you two watch movies in the living room. You give him the look that the prince gives Cinderella. It's sweet and sometime, Kurtsie has the same look towards you."

Blaine stared at his sister strangely, wondering how she could have ever thought this and if any of it could be true.



Kurt stared at the clock. Just another hour and he could go home. Another hour and he wouldn't have to worry about bullies, slushies, or locker shoves.

He could make it through another hour, right?

was giving some pointless speech about how next year they would take Nationals for sure. That next year they would just have to try a little bit harder, but Kurt wasn't really listening. Everything said was going in one ear and out the other, because Kurt was, in all honesty, tired of trying.

It seemed like no matter what he worked at, it always failed. Well, everything except getting his dad and Carole together, that had worked wonderfully, but it didn't really play out the way he had originally planned. Except for that one event, everything else he worked at seemed to fall to pieces.

They had planned something of a party, because even twelfth place at Nationals was something to celebrate to them, except he wasn't in a celebrating mood. His face looked happy, but he was just tired on the inside. He wanted to go home and sleep.

But you can't. You have a coffee 'date' with Blaine.

Oh, right. He had promised to get coffee with Blaine after school. Way to make him feel even more like crap. He regretted saying yes right after he hit the send button.

Even the things he planned with Blaine weren't working the way he had hoped. Then again, he should have learned this lesson with Finn, that if it isn't there you should stop trying to force it. Just because Blaine was gay as well didn't mean that he was particularly interested in Kurt. Maybe Blaine only saw them as really good friends.

Which was why Blaine invited him to his house often.

Which was why Blaine asked him for help with the Warbler numbers, even though he knew Kurt was in the New Directions.

Which was why they go out for coffee multiple times during the week.

Which was why Kurt had his hopes up for so long to get nothing in return.

He sighed and tilted his head on the back of the chair. No one really paid any mind to the fact that he wasn't participating in their party, they probably thought he was just tired or annoyed with their silliness. He just glanced back at the clock and willed it to go faster. It wasn't going to work though and in fact, it just seemed to go even slower the longer he stared at it. People seemed to be getting louder than they needed to be and his head started to hurt. Why were the final minutes of his junior year more painful than the rest of them put together?

"Kurt?"

He turned his head in the direction from where his name came, and, even though he wanted to smile, he began looking worried. Blaine was breathing like he had ran a mile and he was far from his Dalton dapperness. His clothes were a wrinkled shirt and jeans, a worn pair of sneakers on his feet. His hair was everywhere and Kurt was actually amazed at how well it looked without the massive amounts of gel he knew Blaine used. Kurt had to admit, even though he wasn't in his school uniform, he still looked wonderful.

"Blaine... hey." That was all he could really get out, because he had no clue what Blaine was doing here right now. They were supposed to meet after school and now he was at his school, minutes before it was about to end for the year.

"Kurt, I…I have to talk to you. Outside, preferably." By now, the rest of the glee club had noticed that Blaine was there. They stared at the strange boy in their room, the boy that they had only seen at sectionals and regionals. Kurt stared strangely at him, still wondering what could be so important that he would come all the way here, but he rose from his seat and walked outside with Blaine.

The rest of New Directions watched as the two walked further down the hall, were they were unable to be heard and watched as Blaine rapidly began speaking to Kurt, whose face remain confused.

"He's actually doing it. Yay for Blainey!" Rachel turned around to see a small girl standing behind her, no doubt having entered from the door opposite the two boys walked out of.

"Um guys… there's a little girl here." Rachel said and the others turned around to look at her, but the small girl still watched the two boys outside. She seemed very interested at their conversation, even though she couldn't hear it.

"Well hello, what's your name?" Mr. Schuster knelt down in front of the girl, who blinked at him with big hazel eyes.

"I'm Catherine, but people call me Cat. That's my brother, Blaine, but I call him Blainey. He's talking to Kurt, but I call him Kurtsie. Blainey's been having nightmares about Kurtsie, and he doesn't like them. Kurtsie dies in them and it makes Blainey sad. I hope they get married like the people in the movies!" She gave out a little more information then she needed to, but she couldn't help it! She was so excited about her brother finally telling his prince everything; she even snuck out of the car to come watch. She'd followed Blaine into the school, staying far behind

"So wait, the Warbler dude is homo? Damn…" Santana said and Catherine blinked at her, not understanding.

"You're not going to be like Daddy right? You're not going to be mean to my Blainey because he would rather have a prince than a princess, right? Please don't be like Daddy. Daddy doesn't like Blaine's singing and singing friends, but I do because they are all nice and have good singing voices. Please don't be mean to Blainey, he can't help it. He really likes his Kurtsie… You're not going to hurt Kurtsie are you! That would make Blainey even sadder and me too, because if Kurtsie gets hurt then who is supposed to come over and make cookies that we can actually eat instead of the black kind like Blainey does…" She trailed off and everyone stared at the girl, who was still mumbling things under her breath.

They went back to watching the two boys down the hall, and smiled at what they saw. Maybe now would have been a good time to stop watching, but no one could tear their eyes away from the sight of both boys kissing in the middle of the empty hallway. Not even Puck, who had once thrown Kurt in the dumpster and slushied him every day he got the chance for being gay. Now though, he knew it wasn't anything bad, and he was happy for Kurt.

Catherine peered through the legs of the older teens and saw what everyone was looking at. Her tiny face cracked into a big smile and struggled to get out of the giant mass of leg. She ran over to her older brother in the hallway and clung to his legs, taking him by surprise.

"Does Kurtsie know? Does he know about what you think about him?" She asked, staring at both boys.

"Yeah, Cat. I know… I know." Kurt smiled at Blaine, who took his hand and walked with him back in the choir room. When they entered, everyone else applauded loudly and caused Kurt to turn a violent shade of red, but laugh none the less. He went back to his seat and patted the one next to him. Blaine took it and Catherine went down the steps to play with the rest of the glee club. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder, savoring the feeling of something he had been wanting to do for such a long time.

Kurt made an important mental note though.

The minute he got home, he had to dispose of the note left on his desk this morning and the razorblade hidden underneath the bathroom floor mat.