Like The Brightest Star, You Shine Through

For the rest of the day, I absolutely dread my little date with the infamous womanizer who’s asked me to “hang out” after school. Whenever he says “hang out”, he means “fuck” or “at least give me a blow job”. I know this because I’ve heard stories. I may not have friends, but I still have ears, and people talk. People gossip; the main focus of it being Ronnie. As if he even had to introduce himself. He may be oblivious, but I’m damn far from it.

I’m honestly surprised I could even pass with him staring at me and hearing my voice, especially with my massive fuck up when he asked my name. I should be prepared for that, but I wasn’t. At least I am now, and I know what to do in the future. Thank God. I know he’s never going to talk to me again after today, when I reject him and tell him I don’t want to have sex. Either that, or I’ll completely forget about the equipment that I’m lacking, and never stop to think about what’s happening before he pulls down my pants and sees...that.

Shaking my head and groaning quietly, I take my usual seat down on the steps in front of the entrance of the school, right where I told Ronnie I’d be after school. The whole time waiting for him, I hope to God that he’ll ditch me and never show, and I’ll be able to go home and just laugh about this later on. I don’t want to hang out with him. Mostly because I don’t want a single person to find out about my secret and I can’t hide it worth shit, and I don’t want to get too close to him if he never finds out, and I have to live with lying to him constantly.

I don’t trust him not to tell the whole school if he finds out my secret. He’s not only the focus of all the gossip, but he also contributes to it. If he finds out, he will tell the whole damn school, and I’ll be laughed at and beat up non-stop, until my parents somehow found out (because God knows I’d never tell them myself) and decided to move away and send me to a new school, forcing me to lie to everyone all over again about myself and be so much more scared of anyone finding out because I won’t want to have to move again. Then I’ll be a shut in for the rest of my life until I’m able to morph my genitals into what I want them to be, with the help of surgery.

But no matter how much I wish he doesn’t show up, he does. He stands at the bottom of the stairs and looks at me with his hands in his pockets, a small smile playing on his lips. I sigh softly to myself and slowly pull myself up to stand, trudging down the stairs to stand beside him.

“So where we off to?” he asks me, still smiling and starting to slowly walk away from the steps, across the front yard of the school.

I hang my head and watch my feet as I take every step to follows behind him, shrugging my shoulders and biting my lip. “Doesn’t matter,” I mumble, swallowing and quickly glancing over at him. “Just as long as it’s not my place. I don’t want you knowing where I live and finding out a few weeks from now that you’ve been stalking me,” I say bluntly.

Ronnie chuckles softly and nods, picking up speed and forcing me to do the same to keep up with him. “You like ice cream, right?” he asks, glancing at me from over his shoulder, that stupid smile still on his lips.

I look back at him with a blank expression and shake my head. “No,” I answer. “I’m lactose intolerant, and I don’t think you want to hear me passing gas all day. I don’t know about you, but farting isn’t very attractive.”

He laughs again and nods, turning his head to look back in front of him again as he continues to walk. “Fair enough,” he says, adjusting the straps of his backpack on his shoulders. “I’ll just take you somewhere you can get your own food, then.”

I don’t answer as I follow along behind him, towards the parking lot where I assume his car is parked. He’s spoiled; therefore he obviously has a car. And it obviously adds to his attractiveness to all those airhead blondes that are so obsessed with getting laid. They make me sick to my stomach, and I thank myself for not being born with the desire to be one of them. I’m just fine being this kind of girl, and it’ll be even better when I don’t have to hide my dick, and I can actually be an official girl.

He leads me to his Escalade and I raise my eyebrow, slowly shaking my head to myself. This guy’s a prick. No, he hasn’t done anything wrong, but just his appearance and presence, and his possessions. He dresses like a rock star though he’s only in high school, he acts all holier-than-thou, and I doubt he owns anything under fifty dollars, other than condoms.

I drop my bag in front of the passenger seat and crawl into it though anyway, slamming the door shut after I’m seated. I buckle up my seat belt as he tosses his back into the back seat and jumps into the driver’s seat, buckling up his seat belt as well before jabbing his keys into the ignition and starting the vehicle up, the engine making only a quiet purring sound, as opposed to the roar I hear every time my parents start up our family car.

Staring out the window as Ronnie pulls the car out of the parking spot, I watch the outside world shift and move as he drives out of the lot and onto the road. I examine our surroundings as they pass by the window, waiting patiently for us to arrive wherever we’re going. Black Sabbath is playing quietly from the stereo and I hum along softly, nodding my head subtly to the beat with my eyes still focused on the world outside the window.

“You like metal, too?” Ronnie suddenly asks in a surprised tone, and I look over at him to see a grin spread across his face. That same fucking grin I’ve been seeing all day.

I nod a bit, forcing a weak smile back at him. “Yeah, I do,” I answer, sighing softly to myself. “Guys aren’t the only people who like breakdowns, you know,” I mumble, leaning back in my seat. “Girls like good music, too. All the stupid, materialistic girls are the ones who like repetitive, pointless music. Girls with real working brains and individuality actually know what good music is.” I quickly stop myself from talking out of fear of sounding stupid or something and I shake my head, groaning quietly to myself.

The grin is still on Ronnie’s face and he nods in understanding. “I totally agree with you,” he replies, chuckling softly. “I mean, I don’t mind the other girls, but it’s nice to know that girls can actually handle this kind of music, too.”

I agree quietly and nod even more, letting my teeth sink into my bottom lip. Maybe this isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be, but hell, we’ve only been ‘hanging out’ for five minutes, at most. The night could go absolutely anywhere from here, and I’m scared by both outcomes. If it goes well, he might think that automatically makes us friends, and I’ll have to work harder at keeping my secret. If it goes badly, I can’t trust anyone not to start some sort of stupid rumor. But then again, I can’t trust anyone not to start a rumor if it goes well, either.

The car ride is just a few minutes longer before Ronnie parks in the parking lot beside a McDonald’s restaurant and I roll my eyes with a slight smirk, shaking my head to myself. Well, this guy sure knows how to impress. I’m tempted to make some smart ass comment but I manage to hold off and keep my mouth shut.

He looks over at me and smiles a bit before shutting the car down and pulling the keys from the ignition, then opens his car door and unbuckles his seat belt to jump out of the heightened vehicle. I unbuckle my seat belt and do the same, our doors slamming shut at the same time. I meet him at the end of the SUV and he smiles down at me before walking towards the door of the building, and I follow closely behind him, my heart pounding in my chest. Not because of him, but because I know this is serious, and I can’t afford to let my secret slip.

Chewing on my lip, I follow him inside the building and try my best to keep quiet and not say anything too strange over the duration of our time there. It’s going to be long day, and this is only the beginning of “hanging out” for today.