Somebody That I Used to Know

“You’re a coward.”

Those were the last words he had said to her and standing there in the same room as him caused them to come rushing back. Sloan looked around the room and clutched her beer even tighter. She had a feeling she would need to be incredibly drunk if she wanted to make it through the night without having a breakdown.

“Sloan! I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show up, baby doll!”

“Well, I’m here,” Sloan grimaced as she looked at her best friend.

“And you look smokin’,” Candice smiled.

“C, I’m just in a tank top and cowboy boots.”

“Whatever, you still look hot. I’d kill to have legs like yours, bitch.”

“I’d kill to have a chest like yours, bitch,” Sloan smiled back and laughed for the first time since arriving at the party.

“So…uh…does Austin know I’m here?” Sloan nervously asked.

“Why does it matter?”

“Seriously Candice, I’m crashing Austin’s party.”

“It’s at John’s house so it’s John’s party,” Candice argued.

“Yeah, John’s party that he’s throwing for Austin.”

Candice shrugged. “Whatever. I wanted you here so I could hang out with my best friend. Who cares what Austin Gibbs thinks?”

Sloan gave her best friend a look and Candice sighed. “Baby doll, you need to get over him. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I’m sure Kennedy wouldn’t mind having that fine little body of yours under him.”

Sloan rolled her eyes. “I’m not sleeping with anyone tonight. That would just cause unnecessary drama and I don’t really feel like being called a whore by Austin.”

“Sleeping with someone makes you a whore? Sweetie, you’re young and independent. Do whatever the fuck you want…actually it’s more like do whoever the fuck you want. If Austin has a problem with it he can suck a dick.”

“I wouldn’t say that if I were you because it’d probably be your boyfriend’s dick he’d suck,” Sloan laughed.

Candice groaned. “You’re right, it probably would be John’s dick that he sucked.”

“Who’s sucking my dick?” John asked with a hopeful look on his face as he came up and wrapped an arm around his girlfriend.

“Not me,” Candice shook her head. “Sloan and I were talking about how you and Austin have a weird bromance where he sucks your dick.”

“Hey, it’s not gay if it feels good.”

“No, it’s still gay, especially if it feels good. Actually, I think if it feels good that makes it ten times more gay,” Candice argued while John just shrugged and Sloan laughed.

The three stood around talking for a while. Sloan thought about how she was constantly the third wheel when she was around Candice and John but she was used to it by now. At one time she hadn’t been the third wheel around them. John said he always felt bad for Sloan having to be the awkward third person so he introduced her to Austin.

“Candice, I don’t want to go out with you and John tonight. Whenever I go out with you it’s always the same. By the middle of the night you and John start making out or being all lovey dovey and I just sit there awkwardly,” Sloan sighed.

“Sloan, it’ll be different this time, I promise. John has a friend he wants to introduce you to.”

“How many times do I have to tell you guys that I don’t want to go out with Kennedy? The boy is fine and all but he’s definitely not my type.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot that you go for those dirty hipsters,” Candice said.

“I don’t go for dirty hipsters.”

Candice rolled her eyes, “Whatever. Anyway we’re not setting you up with Kennedy. We want you to meet Austin. He’s opening up for the guys on their next tour.”

“Why is every guy in Arizona in a band?”

“I don’t know but you’ll like this one, trust me.”

Sloan groaned but still went with Candice to the bar to meet up with John and his mystery friend. As soon as they entered Sloan saw John sitting in the corner with some guy. Sloan casually checked him out. He had brown hair that looked slightly dirty, a mustache, and was wearing cowboy boots. He looked like a dirty version of John.

“Sloan, I’d like you to meet Austin,” John smiled. “Well Candice and I are going to go dance.”

Sloan rolled her eyes as she watched her two friends walk away. “Wow, that wasn’t obvious or anything.”

“John isn’t the best with being subtle,” Austin agreed. “I’m Austin by the way. I know John already introduced me but I figured I should be a gentleman and introduce myself.”

“I’m Sloan, and you look like you need a shower.”

“I thought John said you liked dirty hipsters?”

“Hipsters don’t call themselves hipsters therefore you aren’t one. Nice try though.”

Austin laughed. “I like you. You’re sassy.”

“And I feel like I’m going to get abducted by you.”

“What?”

Sloan shrugged, “You look like a chomo with that mustache.”

Sloan and Austin spent the rest of the evening talking and getting to know each other. They talked for hours but for them the time flew by. After that night Sloan was no longer a third wheel.

“I’m surprised that you’re handling everything so well. Especially since Austin’s here tonight with…” John started but immediately stopped when Candice hit him. “Ow, what the fuck was that for?”

“Because she doesn’t know yet, dumbass,” Candice hissed.

“What don’t I know yet?” Sloan asked.

“Oh, nothing, nothing important,” Candice smiled.

“Seriously guys, tell me,” Sloan said.

“Well…Austin…he…” John started but he didn’t get the chance to finish. Sloan looked over right as a blonde girl she’d never seen before wrapped her arms around Austin and kissed him on the cheek.

“Who the fuck is that?” Sloan asked.

“Austin’s girlfriend,” John softly said.

“We were going to tell you sweetie but we never found the right time and…” Candice started but Sloan ignored her. Sloan couldn’t stand to be in the same room as Austin and his new mystery girl. She quickly pushed her way into the kitchen and grabbed another beer which she promptly chugged down.

Sloan sat in the kitchen by herself for a few minutes until the one person she didn’t want to see walked in. He walked right past her towards the drinks never once looking in her direction.
Being so close to him brought back all the memories of their end, the memories of why they were no longer together.

“Do you ever think about the future?” Austin asked as he and Sloan lay on his bed.

“Of course I do. I think about finally graduating college and hopefully getting the job I want,” Sloan answered.

“No, I mean do you ever think about us? Do you ever think about our future together?”

Sloan leaned up to look at Austin. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I can’t imagine my life with anyone but you Sloan. I want to marry you someday. I mean, fuck, I’m not proposing to you right now or anything because we’re both fairly young but I do know that eventually I want to end up with you.”

Sloan’s eyes became huge and she shook her head. “Austin…I…we…I think I should go.”

“Wait, what?” Austin hopped up to stop Sloan.

“I didn’t realize that you had those thoughts about us. I mean I love you Austin but, fuck, I don’t want to get married. I don’t believe in marriage.”

“Just because your parents’ marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean you have to be scared of it.”

“It’s just not what I want with my life, Austin, and if that’s what you want then I think it’d be best if I just left now. There’s no point in prolonging the inevitable end.”

“You’re just going to run away from this…from us?”

Sloan didn’t say anything she just pushed past him and headed towards the door with tears in her eyes.

“You’re trapped by your fear, Sloan. You’ll never live your life to the fullest,” Austin called after her.

Sloan turned around, “I’m sorry Austin.”

Austin shook his head and spat, “You’re a coward.”

Sloan walked out and never once looked back. She convinced herself it was the right decision. Marriage was messy and just ended in heartache. Sloan had learned that firsthand by watching her parents’ marriage and eventual divorce.

Even though Sloan thought she was doing the right thing that didn’t stop the tears and the depression that overtook her. Every time the phone rang she hoped it was Austin even though she knew better.

One day a few weeks after her and Austin’s break-up someone knocked on her door. Sloan ran to the door hoping that it was Austin but was instead met with John’s face.

“Hey Sloan, umm…Austin asked me to come by and pick up his stuff he left here. I think he mentioned some records or something?”

“Why couldn’t he come and get his things himself?”

John just shrugged. Sloan quickly pulled out her phone and dialed Austin’s number. Instead of ringing though she was met with the operator’s voice which told her that Austin’s number had been disconnected and changed.

Sloan was furious. “He changed his number?!”

“I…umm…I guess so,” John nervously said.

“Well here are his records. Tell him I never want to see his fucking face ever again,” Sloan seethed as she pushed the box of Austin’s stuff into John’s hands.

John left and Sloan sank down on her couch with a box of tissues. She was tired of being strong and just wanted Austin back but she knew that bridge had already been burned.

Sloan stared in disbelief at Austin as he acted as if she wasn’t even there. She’d had enough of him so she decided to do something about it.

“Hi, my name’s Sloan,” she said as she stretched her hand out for Austin to shake.

“What the fuck are you doing? I know who you are,” Austin snarled at her.

“Oh, really? Because you sure aren’t acting like it. You’re acting as if you don’t know me, as if I’m a stranger.”

“I don’t like associating with cowards. That’s why my current girlfriend is better than you; she’s not a coward.”

Sloan felt as if she’d been slapped in the face.

“You are ridiculous,” she spat as she turned and began to walk out of the kitchen.

“Just walk away like a coward, Sloan. That’s what you always do, isn’t it?” Austin called after her.

Sloan ignored him and pushed her way through the crowd of people, praying the tears wouldn’t fall until she made it safely outside. As soon as she made it outside the tears came and she broke down. She heard footsteps behind her and turned around to see Candice running towards her.

“I’m so sorry, Sloan, you were right. It was a mistake inviting you here tonight. I just thought that Austin could at least be civil,” Candice profusely apologized.

“I love him. I’m still in fucking love with him,” Sloan cried.

“Oh baby girl, it’ll be alright. He’s leaving tomorrow at 9 for tour so you’ll have three months to get over him. I’ll help you. Don’t let what Austin says get to you.”

“He’s right though…I was scared so I just walked away. I’m a coward and now I want him back but it’s too late; he has a girlfriend.”

“It’s never too late,” Candice softly said.

Sloan shook her head. “This time it is.”



Sloan barely slept that night. The words of Austin, John, and Candice reverberated through her head, making sleep nearly impossible. She finally fell asleep around 6 am but soon awoke with a start as she realized what she had to do. She looked over at the clock and saw that it was 8:45. She quickly threw on clothes and raced out her door. She had no idea if this plan would work but she had to try.

Sloan pulled up to Austin’s house right as he was walking out the door towards the van that would carry him from city to city on his tour for the next three months. She put her car in park and quickly got out. As soon as Austin saw her, a look of hatred flashed across his face.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Austin asked.

“Proving to you that I’m not a coward,” Sloan said.

“Well that’s great and all but I’m getting ready to leave for tour so you’ll just have to wait,” Austin sarcastically said.

“Will you just listen to me for two fucking seconds?!”

Austin stopped and glared at Sloan but didn’t say anything so she took that as her cue to continue.

“You were right…when we broke up I was a coward. I loved you but was too scared to admit that I might want to spend the rest of my life with you. So here I am now, standing here telling you that I’m a coward no longer. I love you and if that means spending the rest of my life with you or marrying you then that’s fine because I know that I hate living without you.”

Austin shook his head. “You’re too late. I have a girlfriend.”

“I’m not going to take that as an excuse because I know that your relationship with her can’t be as good as our relationship. Austin, you’re an asshole and you drink too much yet you’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever known and I bet she doesn’t realize that. I can’t imagine that she tries to understand why you do the things you do or loves you the way I do.”

“Sloan, I…” Austin started but she quickly interrupted him.

“Austin, please just…just answer this question: Does she look at you the way I do, does she try to understand the words you say, and the way you move? Does she make you as happy as I did?”

Sloan held her breath as she waited for Austin’s answer.

Austin was silent for a few seconds until he finally shook his head, “No…no she doesn’t.”

Sloan smiled as Austin continued, “Fuck, Sloan, I want you. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted and I’ve tried to forget about you but I can’t.”

“So what does this mean?”

“Well first of all, it means you’re not a coward anymore,” Austin laughed and then continued. “It means that I want us to get back together.”

“I want that, too,” Sloan said as she wrapped her arms around Austin.

The pair stood like that for a couple seconds until Austin pulled away and said, “Darlin’ I have to go. I have a 3 month tour waiting on me.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” Sloan softly said.

“Don’t worry about anything though,” Austin reassured her. “I’ll call and text you; and when I come back home we’ll finally be together for good.”

Sloan stepped back and watched as Austin drove off, both of them knowing she had faced her fears and she’d be waiting for him when he got back.