I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream

"I'm afraid it's terminal. I'm very sorry Mr. Biersack."
Andy quickly grabbed my hand.
The doctor handed Andy the forms, as if Andy wanted the confirmation of his death in black and white displayed in a frame for all eternity.
When we finally got back to my car, I opened the passenger side door for Andy. He smiled weakly at me before sliding his thin, tall frame in.
I got into the drivers seat. As soon as I shut the door, Andy collapsed into my chest and broke down in tears. It tore my heart into pieces seeing him like this and knowing there was almost nothing I could do to help him.
It's not fair. He's only 19, far too young to die! What could he have possibly done that was so bad that the Almighty felt the need to take him away from me? He was a saviour to many. Just read all the messages we 've got from the Army, God! My Andy's a fucking saviour! Or was it something stupid that I had done? Probably. Now Andy's gonna die and it's all my fault. I'm sure Andy would tell you different though. The tears stung my eyes. But I couldn't cry. I had to stay strong. For Andy.

"It's all my fault, Ashy!" He cried. Told you.
"It's not your fault, baby. Please don't blame yourself." I replied as calmly as I could, stroking his soft, ebony black fluffy hair.
"But it is! If I had just fucking listened to you when you told me to stop fucking smoking, I'd be fine! I'm so fucking stupid, Ash! You may as well leave me now 'cause I'm..." The rest of his sentence was just mumbling as he buried his face into the crook of my neck, colouring it black from his now running makeup.
"Don't be silly, Andy. I'd never leave you. I love you too much to do that." He looked up at me and smiled, a proper smile this time. I smiled back and began absent mindedly twirling a lock of his hair around my finger.
"I love you more though." He grinned.

He's so cute.

I reached into my makeup case and pulled out some makeup wipes and a a mirror. I handed them to Andy, who gratefully and carefully took them. He opened the mirror, pulled out a wipe and began to clean up his face, remove all the black stains from his cheeks.
When he had finished, he put them on the dashboard and resumed his position snuggled up against my chest.

Like I said. He's so damn cute.

About 20 minutes later, I was sure Andy was asleep until he lifted his head, tool a deep breath in and sat up straight.
"Ready to go home now?" I asked.
Andy nodded. I started up the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. As I drove down the road back home, I couldn't help but noticed how lost Andy looked.
Not that I'm really surprised...

****************************
I pulled up in the drive way and stopped the car. By now Andy had actually fallen asleep.
Bless him.
He looked so pretty when he slept. I pushed a lock of hair from his face and tucked it behind his ear. I then got out of the car and quietly shut the door behind me. Walking over to Andy's
Side, I again very quietly so as not to disturb him, opened his door and lifted him out. I pushed the door closed with my hip, wincing when it slammed shut. Luckily it didn't wake Andy.
I carefully slipped my hand out from underneath Andy, supporting him with my chest so he didn't fall, reached into my pocket and grabbed my keys. I
Locked the car and walked over to the house. Fumbling about with the keys until I found the right one, I unlocked the front door and shuffled in sideways.
Killer and Tokyo, my two little fluff balls, came bounding up to me, slipping and scrapping on the wooden floor. They barked and barked. Typical.
"Sshhh!" I hissed. "You'll wake up Andy!" To my surprise, they actually did shut up and padded upstairs, most likely to go sleep in mine and Andy's room.
I locked the door and shifted Andy into a more comfortable position.
I then followed the little monsters up stairs and sure enough , there they were, curled up on the pillows. I lay Andy on the bed and took off his shoes. Killer and Tokyo woke up at the sudden movement on the bed. When they realised it was just Andy, they curled up into his chest and went back to sleep.

That honestly had to be the cutest thing I had ever seen.