I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream

I sat down on the couch in the living room and decided now would be a good time to drink myself into oblivion.

And then I remembered Andy.

He hated it when I got drunk. He always looked after me when I couldn't even stand up. He can't be dealing with that right now. So instead I just pulled my knees to my chest and cried.
Yes, you heard that right. I, Ashley Purdy, decided to cry instead of get wasted.

But that's just how much I love him.

The door opened slightly and Andy poked his head through the gap.
"Ashley?" He whispered, walking in. I hastily wiped away my tears and put my feet back on the floor. "I heard you crying... Are you okay?"
"I wasn't crying. But yeah, I'm okay. How are you feeling?" I smiled.
" I'm okay." He smiled back. He walked over and sat down next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I did the same to his waist. "But please don't lie to me, Ash." He continued. "I know you were crying. You don't have to act all tough and macho around me, y'know."
As if on cue, the tears came flooding back and I cried hard against Andy's chest, role reversal, if you will.
Andy gently kissed the top of my head and rubbed his hand up and down my arm in a soothing manner. "I love you..." He mumbled.
"I love you too."

********************************

Two months later and it was Andy's birthday.
We had a small party. Just me, Andy, the guys, Sammi and a massive cake in the shape of the Batman logo I had specially made.

Andy's face when he saw it was priceless. Like a little kid at Christmas.

We all got him presents, of course.
Jinxx got him 'Batman Arkham Asylum' and the new one 'Arkham City'. Andy looked puzzled and laughed at Jinxx when he told him that he didn't even have anything to play them on.

Cue CC.

When Andy unwrapped the XBox CC had bought him, he literally pounced on C! It's was so funny!
Jake got him a shit load of Batman action figures (see the theme here?) and a Batman card. Naturally, Andy played with them all day.
He may be 20 years old, but he's still seven at heart.
I think Sammi won though.
She got him an actual Batman costume.
Complete with Batarang and everything.
Everyone was in fits of laughter, except Andy who thought it like, the coolest thing ever. I told him to go hang it up, so he walked up the stairs, and just when I thought he was gone, everyone heard a 'Game over, Joker!' before I got hit in the head with a plastic Batarang. Again, the laughter unsued. I picked up the Batarang and aimed it at Andy. He quickly scarpered before I could throw it back though.
"Omg, so Andy is really Batman? I was convinced that it was Bruce Wayne!" CC laughed.
And what did I get him? I'll get to that later.

After Andy came back down, I picked up all the wrapping paper from the floor, Jinxx lit the candles on the cake and dimmed the lights.
Everyone sang Happy Birthday and I walked over to Andy and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Happy birthday, baby." I whispered, kissing his cheek as he blew the candles out.

Then next half hour was spent by everyone eating cake and generally having a laugh.
Despite everyone have fun, the whole day was tinged with sadness.
This could be Andy's last birthday. After all...

"Aaaaassshhhhllllleeeeeyyyyyy!" Andy whined. "You still haven't given me a present yet!"
He clung on to my arm, crouched down a little bit and gave me those darned puppy dog eyes.
"Who said I got you anything?" I teased with a wink.
Andy just stared at me blankly. About five minutes later I gave in.
"Alright, alright! You can have your present now!" I laughed. Andy jumped and squealed with delight, clapping his leather studded glove clad hands together.
Everyone turned around to see what Andy was so happy about. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a tiny black box. I got down on one knee and Andy stopped jumping. He looked at me, his blue eyes were wide and shimmering like sapphires.
"Andrew Dennis Biersack, will you marry me?" I smiled, opening the box to reveal a silver ring with a diamond on top and two smaller diamonds either side. Andy's hands flew up to his mouth, covering them as the tears fell down his cheeks.
"Oh my God... Yes!" He whispered. He moved his hands from his face and I could now see the massive grin he was trying to conceal. I gently pulled the glove off his left hand and set it on the floor beside me. I slid the ring onto his finger. Andy then jumped at me, flinging his arms around my neck. As we landed in a heap on the ground, the grin on Andy's face burst through. Everyone was clapping and cheering and I'm pretty sure Sammi was crying.
I sat up again, Andy still on my lap, his arms still around my neck. I held him close and that's when I heard him say "This is the best day ever, Ash. I love you so much. We can make it through this. I promise." I couldnt help but smile.
If only he was right....

******************************
That night, after everyone had gone home, I walked upstairs, Tokyo and Killer following behind me. I walks into out room to find Andy sitting on the bed, dressed in his Batman pyjamas, arm stretched out and smiling at his ring.
"Do you like it?" I asked him.
"Oh, Ashley! I love it! It's beautiful!" He beamed.
"Just like you then...." Andy blushed when I said this. Whenever I said anything like that, he would blush and deny it. He never realised his true beauty. The makeup, hairspray and leather covered Andy you see on stage every night, the one that makes your teenage fan girl (or boy) heart race is nothing compared to the clean faced, pyjama wearing, Batman obsessed kid with his hair often scraped back into a messy ponytail, half of it still haning over his face and shoulders, kid at heart that I see every night after the show.
Andy was on his laptop, reading all the Tweets from the Army who were wishing him a happy birthday. We love you guys, we really do.
Andy took off the ring and carefully placed it on the bedside table before snuggling down into bed. I tucked him in tightly then put my own pyjamas on. (Minus a shirt. Andy didn't like it when I wore a shirt to bed. He said I wasn't as snuggly then.) I climbed into bed next to him and then he did the same thing as he did every night: He put his hands on my chest and laid hid head on them. Then he snuggled up as close as possible as I wrapped ny arms around his thin waist and stroked his hair until he fell asleep. I had just drifted off myself when Andy started screaming. He sat up quickly and began clutching at his sides. He began coughing violently. He moved his hand away from his mouth. It was covered in blood.
"Andy! Go clean your mouth out in the bathroom! I'll get some painkillers!" I shouted already halfway down the stairs. I heard Andy run across the hall and into the bathroom, the door slamming after him. I raced into the kitchen as fast as I could. When I found the medicine draw, I fumbled around, throwing boxes and bandages every which way, until I found the painkillers. I then quickly filled a cup with water and ran back up stairs.
"Andy? You okay in there?" I asked, my ear pressed up against the bathroom door.
No answer.
I walked in just as Andy was spitting out the last of the blood. I handed him the pills and the water and began to rub circles on his back. He took a sip of water to swill his mouth clean before spitting it out. He then popped the pills in his mouth and chased them down with the rest of the water. "You feel a bit better?" I asked. Normally Andy would kill me for talking to him like a small child, but right now I think he appreciated the comfort. He nodded before reaching for my hand and walking back to our bedroom.
We both got back into bed, resuming our previous position.
"I'll take you to the doctors in the morning." I yawned. Andy nodded in reply.

This was gonna be fun.