I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream

Andy fucking hates the doctors.

As soon as we walked in he started acting like a child. He folded his arms and refused to move.
"Andy, come on!" I urged, but he just turned his head away. Luckily no one was around to see him behaving like this. "Look Andy, if you wanna get better, you gotta see a doctor!"
"But I'm not gonna get better, Ashy! I'm gonna--"
"Andy... Please..." I sighed. Just then, a girl who, despite only being about 5"2 - 3, must have been about 18 at the very least, walked up to us. She was wearing a Black Veil Brides t-shirt and her dark brown fringe was resting slightly on her face. The rest if her hair was perfectly straight and brushed past her shoulders and lightly tanned neck. Her eyes were covered by thick, black rimmed glasses. The girl had her lower left lip pierced, a Monroe on the right and 14gs in her ears. She also had a teddy bear in her hands. "A-Andy." She stuttered, brushing her fringe from her eyes. "A-Ashley's right. I-if you wanna get better, you have to see a doctor. We're all praying for you. The whole Army. Don't let us down..." She started crying a bit. Andy knelt down and hugged her tightly. I noticed he was crying as well.
"I'm sorry." He whispered to her. "Okay. I'll go see them. Thank you for your prayers. I'm sure I'll get better now." He smiled and stood back up. The girl smiled back and handed Andy the teddy bear. "I go this for you. He's a dream bear. Supposed to keep away nightmares."
"Aaww. He's beautiful. Thank you." Andy beamed. "Hey, what's your name by the way?"
"I'm Abigail. But you can call me Abi if you like." She smiled.
"Abi..." Andy sighed. "That's very pretty."
Abi and Andy walked over to the waiting area and sat down on the chairs. They began to talk and laugh while I went over to the receptionist to tell her that Andy had (finally) arrived.
She nodded and began typing something into her outdated as fuck computer.
"The doctor will be in shortly." She smiled. I smiled back and walked over to Andy and Abi who were hysterically laughing about something.
"What are you laughing about?" I chuckled as I sat down.
"Good thing you sat down!" Abi laughed. I raised my eyebrow and wondered what the Hell she meant. Andy tried holding in his laughter. And failed.
He exploded into fits of giggles and Abi copied his actions.
"Okay, seriously guys! What's so funny?!" I frowned.
"You have a massive hole in your pants! We can see your underwear!" Andy laughed, gasping for breath.
You know sometimes in anime things, where the characters face goes all flat and dark and a massive sweat droplet thing kinda goes down their face? Yeah. I just had one of those moments.
I took my jacket off and tied it around my waist. Problem solved.
"At least I was wearing underwear..." I mumbled.
"Andrew Biersack?"
We all turned around in unison. The doctor stood behind us, clipboard in her hand.
Andy looked at me and bit his lip ring. I honestly thought he was gonna start crying again. I held his hand and smiled. He nodded in return, seemingly understanding what I meant. We stood up and waved goodbye to Abi. She waved back and mouthed "Good luck" to Andy.
Andy and I followed the doctor back to her office. She opened the door and we all walked in. (I say walked, Andy was pretty much crawling along.)
"Take a seat." She said, sitting behind her desk. Andy and I sat on the chairs, still holding hands. The doctor was shuffling through her papers, her smile long since faded and I could tell this wasn't gonna be good.
"Well, Andy." She said. "The test results have come back..." Andy's head shot up. "And I'm afraid it's not good news..."
We just stared at her blankly, waiting for her to continue.
"The doctors say you have about five months. I'm very sorry." My left hand suddenly felt cold, as Andy's hands dropped limply to his sides. His beautiful blue eyes seemed empty and his usually pale palour looked like tracing paper. I gently picked up his hand again and began rubbing circles in the soft faded leather of his gloves with my thumb.
"Is there anything you wanna talk about?" She smiled sympathetically.
"Actually, yeah..." I sighed. "Last night Andy started coughing up blood. I was wondering what that could be to do with."
"Andy has lung cancer, and that's just a typical side affect of it. I can sort out some medication for that now." She said, clicking away on her computer keyboard, occasionally scribbling something on a green medical form.
I looked up at Andy. He was staring blankly into space, blinking only every now and again.
I looked down and saw that he was clutching tightly onto one if the paws of the bear that Abi gave him.
"Alright." The doctor said. "Take this form to the chemist. They know what to do with it there." She handed me the form and stood up. Andy and I stood up as well as she opened the door again and showed us out.
"You okay, baby?" I said, swinging our arms slightly.
Andy just sighed. He let go of my hand and walked on ahead. Yeah, good question, Purdy. Your fiancé just found out he has about five months to live, of course he's gonna be fucking perfect, ain't he?! I sighed at my thoughts. God, I'm so stupid! How the fuck does someone as smart as Andy put up with me?! I looked over at Andy. Abi has just passed himnsome tissues to dry his eyes. I'm so glad she was there.

**************************

Back at our house, I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a can of Cola and made a beeline for the back yard. I sat on the bench on the deck and drank quietly by myself and just stared up at the clouds.
I wished it was me that had the cancer. Not Andy. He didn't deserve it. I did though.
I slammed the can down on the floor, placed my head down in my hands, face first, and cried. I can't believe this was all happening so fast!
Suddenly I felt a pair of arms around my shoulders and pull me include to them. I breathed in and instantly recognised Andy's scent. Well, minus the cigarette smell of course.
"I never meant to be the one who kept you from the dark." he sang.
"But now I know my wounds are sewn, because of who you are.
I will take this burden on and become the holy one.
But remember I am human, and I'm bound to sing this song.
So hear my voice, remind you not to bleed.
I am here.
A saviour will be there, when you are feeling alone.
A saviour, for all that you do.
So live freely without their harm..." He kissed the top of my head and sighed.
"I told the guys." Andy said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. Words seemed to escape me so I just nodded against Andy's chest.
Then something clicked.
I was gonna give Andy the best life ever.

**************************

Despite the medication, Andy continued spitting out blood almost every night.
So while I was awake at night, I began to plan things.
One night, I texted CC to ask if he was up for a little challenge...