If I Only Had The Heart

20. 20. 20. I can’t believe I’m turning 20! Finally! And well, I’m turning 20 in about… two hours. Ugh, time seems to not go fast enough.

“What do you want for your birthday?” Tim asked and tossed popcorn at my head. Childish.

“Free The Maine concert tickets.”

Pat laughed.

“Seriously though. I don’t know; I didn’t think about it” I shrugged.

“Great, no gifts then.”

“Oh Timothy, you’re the best brother ever” I said wryly. “When’s Abbey coming home, by the way?”

“Tomorrow, for your birthday.”

I smiled.

Abbey was in San Diego visiting family and she said she would be back for my birthday so we could… party hard together. I don’t even know what party hard means.

“You’re not going to hire a striper are you?” Tim had asked, when we were talking about my birthday “she’s not even 21 yet!”

I had laughed at him, silly Tim, and Abbey had winked at me; so, I have no idea of what’s going to happen.

“We should take you to Disneyland” Pat said.

“Yes!” I turned to Tim. “You book the plane tickets and I pack my bags. Go!”

“No, it was a joke!” Pat said desperately, seeing me practically jump from the couch. I giggled, leaning back against him.

“Yeah, I know Patty. Is anyone else coming tomorrow?”

“Maybe” Tim said, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“So… there’s going to be a party.”

“Maybe.”

I sank even more to Pat’s side. Whenever I asked Tim about my birthday, he would answer e with a maybe. I don’t know why I haven’t given up yet.

“No matter what you do, I’m not going to say anything about your birthday.”

“Even if I pour sour in your eyes and throw your body into a pit of flames?”

“You’re mean!” Pat said. I giggled.

“See, you better go to asleep, ‘cause Abbey’s flight is tomorrow morning” Tim spoke.

“Go home, then.”

“No, I’m staying over tonight” he said, crossing his arms behind his head. I rolled my eyes at his relaxed posture.

“Stop, you two! I wanna hear them” Pat complained, pointing at the tv with his chin.

I yawned after a minute and got up.

“Leigh!” Pat complained again.

“I’m going to my room! You know, I could wait two more hours until midnight and eat those cupcakes that are in the kitchen but I had to wake up early today and go to work” I threw Tim a look “and I just can’t wait to go to bed, so, goodnight.”

I walked past Tim as he grabbed another handful of popcorn. He scooted his hand up to his mouth and in the last minute, I smacked his hand away, causing him to have popcorn all over his face and hair.

“Damn!” He shouted. I chuckled and so did Pat; we were laughing so hard that it was hard for us to breathe.

“Get back in here!” Tim yelled as he got up, seeing me run upstairs. From there, I could see him grimacing, trying to remove all the butter and popcorn from his head.

“Goodnight!” I screamed, closing the door to my room.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep” Tim said, nudging my arm.

“Yeah, right” I mumbled, closing my eyes.

He poked the side of my head, causing me to fall to my side. I almost fell, and stumbled on my own feet to get straight again. Some kids next us giggled, watching us. Tim smiled sweetly at them.

“Tell me again, why are we here?”

“Abbey’s coming back to Arizona” Tim told me, seeing me yawn. We were at the airport. I didn’t want to be here. Seriously.

“At 7 in the fucking morning.”

“Yeah.”

“Great Abbey, great.”

“If you wanted to sleep, why did you come?”

“Because I love Abbey” I said, yawning again. “Today is my birthday, by the way; you haven’t wished me a happy birthday yet.”

“Oh shit, yeah” Tim smiled and hugged me, you know, in one of those bear-like hugs of his. I writhed against him.

“I. Can’t. Breathe.”

“Happy birthday, baby girl” he let go of me and said, ruffling my hair.

“Thanks, Tim” I smiled and hugged him again.

“Aw, that’s sweet” I heard a sweet, feminine voice come from behind me. Duh, it’s obvious it was Abbey.

“Hey!” I smiled, pushing Tim away as he tried to hug her. She set her bags down and hugged me.

“Happy birthday, Leigh!”

“Yeah, thanks. Not so happy though. Tell me why 7 am? 7 am, Abbey! I was supposed to be in bed right now, sleeping hugged to a teddy bear.”

“Stop being dramatic” Tim said, hooking his arm around Abbey’s waist and pecking her lips quickly.

“Enough with the lovey dovey! I wanna go home!”

“Nope.”

Tim pulled Abbey to another kiss and I made a disgusted sound, looking away. The same kids who had laughed at us earlier were still there, laughing at us once again. They were three, two girls and a younger boy. The older girl was about 10, with flushed cheeks and a curly honey blonde hair. The younger girl was shorter, with straight light blonde hair, looking exactly alike with her little brother. Seeing them, I pointed at Abbey and Tim kissing.

“Do you think that’s cool? That’s not cool. First, they’re in a public place; there are kids here!” I pointed at the kids and they laughed. “Second, a lot of germs are spread by kissing. It’s dangerous! Third… Ew, I’m his sister, it’s disgusting.”

“Have you ever kissed someone?” one of the girls asked, holding her little brother’s hand.

“Yes, I have.”

“And have you ever had a boyfriend?” the younger one asked. I bit my lip; her question caught me off guard.

“Yeah, I’ve had a boyfriend before.”

“And how was it?”

“I-it was great” I sputtered and they smirked. “We’re still best friends, ya know.”

“This is cute” the second girl said, twisting her honey blonde locks around her finger. An older woman, around 40, appeared and gave her a disapproving look. I heard the kids complain as the woman guided them away without even saying goodbye. Seriously, who brings kids to an airport at 7 in the morning?

“Alright, stop with this shit already. I’m getting grumpy” I said, pushing Tim away from Abbey. He rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, I just wanna go home. You can have her to yourself when we get there.”

Abbey laughed, taking Tim’s hand and guiding us out of the airport lobby.

My day was full of calls and texts, wishing me a happy birthday. Everyone talked to me, except for my boys. I knew something was up, and I probably would see them tonight, but they could at least send me a text. They are the ones who really matter.

At lunch, we headed to my grandparents’ house for a… birthday lunch? My mom bought cupcakes and Tim lit these little candles, making them birthday cupcakes. Pat devoured half of them.

Later that day, we were all gathered in the living room watching Chasing Liberty; they didn’t even complain because it was my birthday. Halfway through the movie, Tim got up and checked his phone. He left the room and called someone; I’m not a curious person in general, but today I was all alert. I stretched my ears, trying to hear whatever he was saying.

“No, no” Pat said and placed his hands on both sides of my head, turning me to the tv.

“Tim, I want a chocolate cake!”

Abbey giggled and I heard Tim snort.

“Yeah, okay, okay” he said, coming back in the room and hung up. He pointed at me “you, go get ready.”

I sat up straight, causing Pat, who was leaning against my arm, to fall forward.

“Why?”

“Because we’re going out” Tim told me simply.

“Where are we going?”

“To your birthday party.”