Exchange

“JESSSSS!” David whined as we waited at the bottom of the stairs for Kayleigh to hurry up and finish getting ready, “be upset with her not me” I defended, earning me a bear hug from him. “what was that for?” I asked him, “I’m just going to miss your sassy comments” he said sadly, “David, I’m only going half way around the world to live forever” I said rolling my eyes before giving the optimistic part of my little speech, “we’ve still got a show to get through plus another day or so, and we can email, and video webchat all the time! It’ll be like I’m still here just I wont be around to yell at you for making a mess in the kitchen or Kayleigh for taking forever, OR Pat constantly being on my nerves. But I promise nothing will change!” I said optimistically as he forced a ghostly smile. “but you’ll have to fight with me for the time to webchat with her” Sebastien added in trying to get a lively spirit back into him. “you’ve got a few more days before you even have to worry about that, right now lets worry about Kayleigh taking her sweet ass time and you boys not getting to do a soundcheck!” I yelled before starting to make my way upstairs… only to be met half way by Kayleigh walking down to us.

Pierre met us over at Chuck’s place with his dad’s van so we could pile all the equipment and boxes of merchandise into the van to take to the place the boys were playing tonight. Since it was new years eve the city was, well nuts; traffic, road blockages, people, did I mention traffic? We left an hour earlier than we needed to since Simple Plan were playing in a small venue RIGHT in the middle of the city, only a few blocks away from all the big things that were happening there later tonight… naturally making it about 10 times more difficult than necessary to get in there. “Look, we’re playing a show in there tonight…” Pierre tried to explain to the security guard but he just kept ignoring him and refusing to move. “let me out” I instructed, “Jess” Sebastien warned, “just let her, if she gets us in…” he said unlocking the doors.

I grabbed my bag and jumped out of the van walking directly to the security guard, “can I help you?” he asked as I stood there rummaging in my bag. “yes yes you can. You see my band here are playing a show HERE tonight, and we need to get back there to set up. I know for a fact that other bands have already gone round back” I said still looking through my bag. “is there something ELSE I can help you with, without a pass I can’t let you back there” he insisted, “I’m sure you can, considering when tonight’s organiser and the venue manager find out at the HEADLINING band were refused entry and that they don’t have a band for tonight…” I led on for a little longer before jumping back in the van giving the boys the all clear. “What did you do?” Sebastien asked warily , “I told him he could lose his job if the headlining band didn’t show up tonight especially considering that there are record label reps coming” I shrugged, “but we’re not the headlining band?” asked David confused “I know that, he clearly didn’t.”

The boys set up their equipment and did a quick sound check while Kayleigh and I helped Pat set up the merch where all the other bands had theirs all set up. The organiser of the night then handed out passes, which really made me question the security guard out back who wanted to see our passes, before reminding the cohort that the first band went on at 6:45pm and to not miss the set time. We wandered off to find some dinner trying to find somewhere that wasn’t packed so tight that you couldn’t move. “How about that place?” asked Jeff pointing across the street to a burger place, “looks good, the line isn’t that big but there’s no seats” said Belle, “why don’t we order and take the food back to the venue and eat there?” suggested Chuck coming up with the best suggestion so far.

We hung around with a few of the other bands that were playing tonight around the back of the venue until doors opened when we all went inside; Kayleigh and Patrick headed over to the merchandise section of the venue while I hung around backstage with the boys. This was going to be the last gig I get to see, which made me stick to Seb’s side in a one armed hug, with the exception of bathroom breaks of course. As they boys got called up, I moved to the side stage with them “break a leg” I told them all, giving Sebastien a quick kiss before he ran on stage becoming a ball full of energy.

I danced around on the side of the stage till their set was over and then receiving a sweaty hug from Sebastien… well a sweaty group hung since everyone chimed our hug. “HEY WAIT FOR ME!” yelled David from somewhere around us before I felt him jump on us and move us a little. “GUYS I CAN’T BREATHE” I managed to yell while being slightly suffocated in this hug, “WAIT NO WAIT FOR US!” I heard Kayleigh yell before her and everyone else joined us. “okay guys let her breathe now” said Chuck realising that I probably couldn’t breathe with 9 people hugging me for so long. The next few hours flew by, we sat around hanging out with ‘Anything But Mute’, the headlining band, who we had a few drinks with and before we knew it, it was midnight.

Midnight. Well 11:55pm on the 31st of December. As it got closer they shoved everyone that was back stage on to the stage. “So there’s a few more minutes left, you guys ready for the new year?” John, the lead singer of ‘Anything But Mute’ asked the crowd earning a pleased roar back from them. “well from everyone on stage here, bands, crew, friends and all, we’d like to wish you a happy new year in just a moment” he continued. “you lot ready?” he asked, waiting for the all clear from the event manager to initiate the countdown, “I’ll take that as a yes, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 2…1 HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE” he yelled. Before I could even fathom a though I had been spun around and received an unexpected kiss from whom I recognised to be Sebastien making me relax and kiss him back.

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“Kayleigh if you look at me one more time like that I swear…” I started as I packed away the last of my clothes in my suit case, which I hadn’t packed away last night. “NO YOU CANT LEAVE” she yelled at me tackling me onto my bed, well the now spare unoccupied bed. “Kay, I don’t want to but…” “no buts! You can stay here with me and Sebastien, Sebastien think of your Sebby” she pleaded, “friendly reminder that he is your brother and that you just said that” I reasoned, “but how can you not be upset about having to go home, I’m going to miss you, everyone’s going to miss you, aren’t you going to miss us?” she pleaded on the edge of tears. I honestly didn’t think it would effect either of us, ANY of us, this badly, I really didn’t.

“Kayleigh, the word “miss” doesn’t even explain how much I’m going to miss all of you, You and Sebastien the most. I’m just still… I’m not letting it consume me… not yet. I’ve had my share of tears of this, and I miss home and my family, and I know this is almost home and you are my family, but well my flight leaves in 5 hours and there’s nothing we can do about it” I rambled on the edge of tears. I really didn’t want to go but at the same time I did. But I was leaving my best friend and my boyfriend, it was the biggest internal struggle and I really didn’t know what to do.

“bye room” I whispered as I closed the door for the last time, still hoping that I would get to see that room once again at some point in my life, before I headed down stairs where I found all the boys standing there. Belle and Kailyn didn’t come because we’d said our goodbyes yesterday knowing that they would be worse today, and we would be sitting here in tears… the very thing I had been avoiding. “boys,” I whispered as I was given a big group hug, “you boys are going to make it big, I promise” I told them as they all let go, “I’m honestly going to miss you all” “DON’T LEAVE” shouted David dramatically… enough emotion in it for everyone in the room, “David” I whispered pulling him into a hug, as I pulled away with tears in my eyes I saw them in his eyes, “David this is your fault” I said sniffling, “I’m going to miss your stupidity”, “Pat, who the hell am I going to make fun of and pull pranks on now?” I asked making him smile, “Chucky… why did I say that?” I said laughing as they all laughed, “Chuck, YOU are in charge of emailing me everything, I’ll miss your organisation and your ice hockey nerdiness” I teased, “Jeff, man you’re going bald” I laughed, trying not to let the tears spill out “I think you’re the only normal one here” I whispered, “Pierre MA MAN!” I yelled as we did some weird bro hug kind of thing, “we gotta have jam sessions on the internet okay?” I asked and he just nodded. “Don’t forget me when you’re famous because you boys will be. I promise” I assured them before getting another group hug and being shuffled out to the car.

I sat with my head resting on Sebastien, we’d had said our official goodbyes last night knowing there’d be too many tears to do it anywhere else. But we had decided that it wouldn’t be the end, we would try the whole long distance thing and if in time, we couldn’t do it, well then we were still friends and we wouldn’t loose touch. We made promises to email every single day and video chat when we can, and call once a week. We still had everything of each other and I even had something of his… his ATTICUS shirt.

We got to the airport and Mr Lefebvre grabbed my bags out of the boot, Sebastien, Kayleigh and I went inside while he parked the car. I left as I came, with Mr Lefebvre, Kayleigh and Sebastien… I had said my thank yous and good byes to Mrs Lefebvre and Natalia, thanking them for absolutely everything, every little thing that they had done for me over the last 6 months. I checked in my bags and we stood around for a while talking about meaningless things. “Jess you have to go in now” Mr Lefebvre said looking at the clock. “Thank you for everything Mr Lefebvre, honestly, I’ve had an amazing time and thank you, really just thank you. I don’t think I can say it enough” I told him before receiving a warm smile, “You are more than welcome my dear” Mr Lefebvre replied in French. I looked over at Kayleigh who had that sad look in her eyes which I had come to know in the last few days since our ‘official’ goodbyes. “Kay, I’m going to miss you, I’ll call you during my layover in Vancouver yeah?” I asked and she just nodded before I hugged her, “Sebby” I whispered barely audible, I don’t think I could have managed to speak any louder than that, “I love you my dear” he whispered back before giving me a kiss, one last kiss was all I got before I went through to my flight.

A tear trickled down my face, as I turned away towards the security checkpoints, realising that this was really it.

One last kiss.