Right Here Waiting

Eliza’s heart was pounding in her chest. She and Katie were waiting outside of the Manhattan Center to get inside for the concert. The concert itself was standing room only, and Zacky had managed to grab two backstage passes to get them in more quickly. Eliza swore she wasn’t going to use hers to go backstage, but she did want to get in the door faster. She fidgeted with her shorts, making sure they were over her leggings just right as she waited.

Forty-five painstaking minutes later, the lights went down and the guys took the stage. Each member, with the exception of Brian, looked at her and smiled. She assumed that they had told Matt she was there. If they had told Brian she was there, he didn’t appear to know. He looked out of the crowd, his face blank. Eliza watched as he picked along his guitar to the songs.

She couldn’t keep her eyes off of him as the concert wore on. He didn’t smile much, he kept his eyes either out over the crowd or down at his guitar and he didn’t involve himself much in the conversation between the guys.

Before she knew it, the concert was over, and people were filing out of the venue. Unsure of herself, Eliza followed Katie backstage to see the guys. She was greeted by a huge hug and a smile from Val. They talked for a few minutes as they walked into the area where the guys were sitting. Eliza’s eyes scanned the room and found Brian missing.

“He left about three minutes ago,” Jimmy explained.

Eliza’s shoulders slumped, feeling slightly defeated. She stayed in the room talking with the guys, though. She saw how happy Katie was to be with Zacky and decided to let her stay a while. With a promise to text her when she got to the hotel, Eliza said goodbye to the guys and Val and left the venue.

She took her time walking to the hotel. She looked at all the sights and listened to the city sounds and she took the twists and turns. Finally, the hotel was in her sight and she sighed in relief, ready to sleep the entire day away and think about things another day.

She hummed to herself as she waited for the elevator to take her to her floor. When the doors opened, she turned to her right, heading down the hallway to her door. She had her head down, fiddling with her pocket trying to find her room key, and thus didn’t see the figure leaning against the wall beside her door until she was feet away.

The head lifted up and Eliza saw Brian’s face from underneath the hat. Her heart did a little flutter and she smiled at him. He didn’t return the smile. He straightened himself up as she stood a foot away.

“Hey,” she said, the smile still on her face.

“Why did you come tonight, Eliza?”

The smile faltered a bit and she blinked.

“Katie got tickets. I didn’t know until this afternoon we were in New York to see you guys play.”

“Why did you still agree to it?”

“I’ve always wanted to see you guys play. Since I helped so much with the album, I figured I could see what I did in action. Plus you made me sound so amazing in that interview, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Well, you should’ve stayed in Boston.”

“Why are you acting so cold, Brian?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. I haven’t been right in a while.”

“Want to talk about it?” Eliza asked, reaching a hand up to stroke his cheek. He didn’t pull away like she expected him to, but he didn’t seem completely comfortable with it.

“I still can’t get over how much you’ve changed. I’m not sure I like your hair this color,” Brian said, changing the subject.

“Just because my appearance has changed doesn’t mean I’ve changed, Brian.”

“Why haven’t you worn any of your bracelets?”

“They aren’t really acceptable for work.”

“When is the last time you sang?”

“Last week in the car with Katie.”

“Other than tonight and last week, when’s the last time you spent time with Katie?”

Eliza paused, looking at him. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“Why isn’t your hair pink anymore, Eliza? You’re wearing skirts and pantyhose and button-up shirts? That’s not you.”

“I wore skirts and button-up shirts before, Brian.”

“What about pantyhose?”

“It’s appropriate for work.”

“Speaking of work, are you even happy being a secretary?”

“Yeah, actually, I am,” Eliza said, knowing as the words rolled off her tongue how big of a lie they were.

“Eliza, you’ve changed. You’re not the girl I used to know. When I said make your parents proud, this is not what I had in mind for you, and I don’t think they would approve.”

Eliza slapped him. “How dare you speak about what my parents would or would not approve of, Brian.”

“I will because I was there,” Brian said, leaning in to her face. She could tell he was pissed off, but not because of the slap. “I was there when your mother died. I was there when your father was in the hospital. I was there with you when you first came back to Huntington. Remember that day in the hospital? The last time you heard your father’s voice? Who was there, Eliza? Who was there during the funeral to give you support? When your fucking fiancée hit you, who was there to defend you? I was, Eliza. Not that asshole you live with. I know you, and I know you’ve fucking changed.”

She stared at him for a minute. “You made me cry, Brian. I never cried, not until you. I cried for weeks after I left.”

He was taken aback by that. He had seen her that last day when she left, but he didn’t know she’d cried more than once. “You want to know why you cried, Eliza?”

She was almost afraid to answer, but he beat her to it. “You cried because we loved each other. You cried because you fell in love with me. You cried because you believed lies some bitch told you. Had you not left, I would’ve cleared everything up, Eliza.”

Tears were welling up in her eyes.

“If you had stayed in Huntington, you and I would be together right now. I never would’ve asked you to change a single thing about yourself. I fell in love with your pink hair, your piercings, your badass attitude, your love for music, and your ‘I-don’t-take-shit-from-anyone’ mentality. What does David say about your tattoos? I bet you can’t have them showing in the wedding, can you? I would never have done that to you. I would never hit you, or ask you to change anything about you because I loved you just the way you were.”

Still, she didn’t say anything. She didn’t know how to respond to what he was saying. She could feel her heart breaking, knowing he felt the same way as her.

“I’m sorry, Brian…I can’t do this.”

“No, you won’t do this. You’re being a little bitch about this. Why can’t you just talk about it? You’re engaged to a fucking asshole, and everyone can see it but you. Want to know why? You’re afraid of him and that’s not how it should be. You took on one of the biggest guys in the school for me. Now, you’re letting some stuck-up lawyer from Pennsylvania run your life like you’re some meek girl. You’re not, Eliza. Come with me. Come back to Huntington, go on tour with us, and come back to where you belong.”

“I belong in Boston, Brian,” Eliza said, close to her breaking point.

“You belong with family and friends that will protect you, not hurt you. You belong with a guy who will love you, not break you. You deserve to let all your music shine through everything. You deserve to be happy, Eliza.”

“I’m happy, Brian.”

“No, you’re not. You’re doing this because it’s familiar to you. You’re afraid to come back to Huntington, aren’t you? You’re afraid that I may truly love you.”

“Brian, that’s not—”

“That’s exactly what it is. You’re afraid that something is really going to happen and you’re really going to have feelings for me. You’re afraid to really fall for someone. If you’re worried about money, Eliza, I’ve got it. I’ve even bought—”

“It’s not about his money, Brian,” she said, but her gaze didn't meet his.

“Really, then what the fuck is it about?”

“I’m pregnant!” Eliza hollered out. Her chest was rising up and down angrily. She hadn’t wanted to admit that to Brian, but he was pissing her off.

“What?” Brian said in a small voice.

“I’m pregnant, Brian. With his child. That’s why I’m still with him; I don’t want to raise kids out of wedlock. I want my children to be with the father.”

Brian was shocked. He hadn’t expected that at all. Suddenly, he was angry. Why he was angry, he wasn’t sure. “Well I hope you have a great life with your fucking family.”

He pushed past her to leave. She whirled around and grabbed his arm.

“Please don’t leave like this,” Eliza said.

He turned back to her and saw the tears in her eyes. He also saw the fear. He wasn’t sure if it was fear of David, fear of the child, or fear of losing him. Honestly, he didn’t know which one he wanted it to be.

“I’m sorry, Eliza. I have to go now, before I say something I may regret later. I don’t know if I can be your friend through this. I wish you the best of luck, but that would be asking a little too much.”

Eliza let go of his arm and watched him walk away with tears in her eyes. She wanted to stop him; to tell him she loved him and wanted to go home with him. She wanted to tell him the real reason she was still with David, but she couldn’t.

No one would ever know if she had anything to do with it.