What a Mess

Jimmy woke up to an empty bed. After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he started to think about what had happened the previous night. He'd slept with Carrie. It wasn't that hard to figure out. And he didn't regret it. And he knew deep down, Carrie didn't either.

He threw the blankets off of himself and placed both feet on the floor. It suddenly hit him. Why he was where he was. Carrie had been pregnant. With his child. She'd lost the baby. Rachel caused it (if he wanted to believe Carrie). He immediately pulled out his phone and called his house, hoping Carrie would pick up.

”Hello?” said a voice on the other end and he cringed. Rachel.

”Rach. Where's Carrie?”

”Hey baby. Where's who?” Rachel said, trying to be as sickeningly sweet as possible.

”Where. Is. Carrie?” He paused between each word.

”Oh. Her.” Rachel paused, not impressed he was asking about Carrie. ”I'm sure she's on her way back to Boston. Look, I know I made mistakes. And you made mistakes. But we should fix things. I miss you.”

Jimmy could not believe what he was hearing. ”Wait. What? You want me to forgive you and forget that you slept with someone else while I was on the road?”

”Jimmy. I know I made a mistake but...”

”And then you told me that I wasn't what you wanted. I'll be home sometime.” He hung up before she could get another word in.

He ran a hand through his hair, wondering why everything was happening like this. Carrie had left. Rachel was back. Was it a sign? He hoped not. Spending the last week and a half with Carrie had made him realize one very important thing. He had never really fully been in love with Rachel to begin with. It was always Carrie.

He had a feeling Carrie was headed back East. With All-Star break starting, Jimmy had time. Rachel could deal with James for a few days. He had to get to Carrie. He had to get her to trust him. And he had to make sure Greg wasn't going to stand in his way.

***********************

When Greg got home, he went straight to Shawn's. He needed help. He had to figure out what had just happened and he knew he couldn't do it alone. He never called, just showed up. Shawn never questioned Greg, just let him in.

”I need help.” Greg said, never saying hello.

”Alright. What's up?” Shawn asked, closing the door behind him.

”I'm in love with Carrie.”

”Oh... you're just realizing this now?” Shawn asked, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking.

”What?”

”Greg, I've known you've been in love with Carrie for over a year now. You weren't being a protective friend. You were acting like a jealous boyfriend. Yes, you hate seeing her hurt. But it's not as a friend.” Shawn explained.

”How the hell could you know if I didn't even know myself?” Greg was confused.

”Because.... I could see it every time you looked at her. Every time you talk about her. God Soup, you worship the ground she walks on. She's everything to you. I just can't believe it too you so long to fucking realize it.”

Greg sat down on the couch before putting his head in his hands. ”God.... I should have stayed.”

”Why did you leave?” Shawn asked. ”And, nice face by the way.”

”Shut up.” Greg shot at his linemate. ”I ran into Jimmy.”

”Did you get a good shot in for me?”

”Oh I got a shot in. So did he. Hence my nose at the moment. Carrie kicked both of us out.” Greg said as Shawn's phone rang.

”Shawn....” Carrie's voice came through the reciever when Shawn answered.

”Carrie... Calm down. What's the matter?”

”I made a huge mistake. Like... beyond huge. And Rachel is back. And Greg hates me...”

”Greg doesn't hate you.” Shawn shot a look at Greg. Greg's head shot up. ”Trust me... it's far from hate.”

”When he finds out what happened... he's going to hate me forever. I know it.”

”It's not like you slept with Jimmy or anything.” Shawn joked and when Carrie started crying harder, Shawn's eyes widened. ”CARRIE!”

”Don't tell him I'm coming back. I'm just going to get my stuff and....” She said, sniffling.

”Hell no. You aren't running out. That's taking the easy way out.” Shawn said sternly. ”Just... come back and talk to him? Do you know if Jimmy....”

”No.” She said quietly. ”Which is why I can't face him. What if.....? I just can't.”

”You know Jimmy won't be there. Not if Rachel is back in town.” Shawn replied, seeing the look of anger on Greg's face.

”Let me talk to her.” Greg said, holding his hand out. Shawn heistated, knowing Carrie may just hang up if he told her Greg wanted to talk. ”Please.”

”I don't think that's a good idea.” Shawn mouthed.

”She's scared shitless that I'm going hate her. She has to know I don't. No matter what happened.” Greg argued. Shawn sighed before handing the phone over. ”Carrie...” There was silence on the other end. Greg checked the phone to make sure she hadn't hung up. ”Carrie honey. Talk to me.”

”What Greg?” She asked and Greg could hear the fear in her voice.

”Carrie... I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I just... what happened?” He couldn't say it. Not yet.

”Come by the apartment. I'll tell you. I promise.” She said.

”Alright. I'll be waiting for you.” Greg said and hung up. ”I'll let you know what happens.” Greg handed the phone to Shawn before grabbing his keys off the couch and heading for Carrie's apartment.

***********************

To say Greg had no idea what was going on was a huge understatement. He was extremely confused. When Carrie pulled into the driveway, Greg heaved himself up off the steps. Carrie was a wreck and Greg wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her everything would be alright.

Carrie wiped furiously at her eyes, trying to dry any tears that were still threatening to fall. She ran an hand over her face and through her hair, making sure she looked presentable. The fight with Rachel was still running through her mind. What was killing her most? She'd slept with Jimmy. Without protection.

When she felt she was decent, she pulled on the door handle and exited the car. Greg was waiting on the steps, a look of concern on his face. No. She couldn't do this. 'You owe him this much,' Carrie thought to herself, taking a deep breath and heading toward the door of her apartment. ”Greg.”

”Hey hun.” Greg said, wrapping her up in a hug. The minute he did that, she broke down again.

”I'm so sorry.” Carrie said through her tears.

”What are you sorry for?” Greg asked, pulling away enough to look at her. He reached up and wiped at the tears. ”There's nothing to be sorry about.”

Carrie shook her head as she pulled out of his grip. She walked up the steps and unlocked her apartment. She entered, Greg on her heels. ”You're going to hate me.”

”I highly doubt that.” Greg said, smiling slightly.

”I slept with Jimmy.” Carrie said sternly. ”After you left, I slept with Jimmy. I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't want it to happen. But...”

”But what?” Greg felt his heart get heavy in his chest.

”You know how I am around him.” Carrie was crying still. Greg wanted to pull her close and tell her to not worry. He'd fix things. But he couldn't. He felt like there was a knife being stabbed into his chest. ”I told you you'd hate me.”

Greg shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. ”I don't hate you. Did he....?”

”No.” She said so quietly he almost didn't hear her.

”So you could get....”

”Yes. Again.” She sat down on her couch. He could tell she had no idea what to do at this point.

”I'm gonna kill him.” Greg was now seething. He didn't think Jimmy could stoop that low but he had and it was....

”No. I'm going to go home to Maine. See my parents. Wait it out. I'm praying I don't get pregnant but there's no guarantee. If I am.... well..... I don't know what I'll do.” She fidgeted.

”I'll help.” Greg said the words before he could think them through.

”I could never ask that of you.” She replied. ”That's so thoughtful but I just couldn't.”

”You don't have to ask. I want to help you. That is, if the bastard actually did....”

”Could you not!” The irritation in her voice startled Greg. ”I hate what he did to me. And I know you dislike him. But.... I'm so tired of you two bickering like two schoolgirls. Fighting over nothing.”

”You aren't nothing.”

”I'm nothing to fight over. And the stunt in the hotel? Where you kissed me? You're lucky he didn't get a good shot in.”

”I'd say it was pretty good.” Greg said, feeling his nose again.

”Still... I don't need this. Between you and.... JIMMY?!” Carrie looked toward the door where Jimmy was standing.

”Oh for fucks sake!” Greg moaned, absolutely livid.

”Don't get your panties in a bunch Gregory... I'm not here to see you.” Jimmy sneered, keeping his eyes locked on Carrie's. He was shocked to see so much hurt in them. ”Carrie... I need to talk to you.”

”I'm pretty sure you've done enough.” Greg stepped in between Carrie and Jimmy.

”KNOCK IT OFF!” Carrie yelled, jumping to her feet and surprising both men. ”Both of you cut this fucking shit out right now. I'm so fucking sick of this.”

Jimmy was stunned for only a second. He crossed the room so he was standing right in front of Carrie. ”Please. Just.... let me talk.”

”Fine. Talk.” Carrie sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. ”And no, Greg is not leaving.”

Jimmy narrowed his eyes at Greg before turning his attention back to Carrie. ”Carrie.... I can't even begin to tell you how much of a mistake I made letting you go that day in May. I regret it every day. And being with you the last week and a half made me realize something else. I let the best thing I had going for walk away without a second thought.”

Carrie closed her eyes, willing any tears that threatend to fall back. Jimmy knew he was getting to her.

”I should have stopped you. I should have figured out what was wrong. I should have fought for you. I didn't. And I regret it now and I'll regret it forever if I let you walk out of my life again. That year and a half we didn't talk killed me.”

”You had Rachel.” Greg spat.

”You're right Greg. I did. And it never felt right. Never.” Jimmy said, trying not be irritated for Carrie's sake. ”And I understand that you probably hate me for what happened. But I don't regret it. I'm so in love with you Carrie. I always have been. And what I felt with you last night? It confirmed everything I've felt for the last 9 years. I reaffirmed that we were meant for each other.”

”You said it.” Carrie said, finally looking at Jimmy. ”You let me walk away. You didn't fight for me. And what you did last night?”

”Carrie... you can't tell me....”

Carrie held a finger to Jimmy's lips, shushing him. ”You are not in my head. Stop acting like you are. I will not deny it. It felt so amazingly wonderful to be in your arms again. To be loved by you. But...”

”If this is about Rachel, I'm not in love with her. I never was. And I can't tell you how much it kills me that it's taken me this long to realize it. I ruined everything between us. But...”

”There aren't any 'buts' anymore Jimmy. Whether you like it or not, you gave away everything between us. You gave it all up for Rachel.”

”Carrie....”

”No Jimmy. You did. And you know how much I loved you. But what you did to me that May and what you did to me last night? Those aren't things I can just move past.”

”Things can't go back to the way they were. They can't.” Jimmy said and he noticed Carrie look down at her stomach. ”Wait!”

”Don't jump to conclusions. I don't know. I won't know.”

”Would you tell me?” He asked, knowing he probably wasn't going to get the answer he wanted to hear.

”I'm not sure.” Carrie said quietly.

Jimmy took her face in his hands. He didn't care Greg was there. He didn't care about anything but the woman currently in front of him. She never protested as he kissed her gently. Jimmy then stepped away and walked out the door, closing it behind him.