Eternity

What is the meaning of life?

People ask themselves every day. Why are we living? Do we have a purpose?

I can't say I know the answers. But I try to keep it logical. We live because the cells in our bodies fight against the world, fueling us to continue. Our purpose is whatever we make it.

So those aren't the questions I ask myself. My question: what is the point?

Life is temporary, we all know that. Living a whole life filled with the hardships and successes seems high price for bits of fleeting happiness that, in the long run, disappear.

Living after death? I don't believe in it. The thought is absurd. Think about it; the odds are all against you, specifically, even being alive. Think back to your parents. By what turn of fate did they meet? If one thing in the past changed, that's it - you're nonexistent. Say they do meet. What are the chances that you will develop as a baby? Before conception, you were one of millions of potential children, but you, out of all of them, you were the one born. The challenges don't stop there. There are so many things in the outside world that can cause you to stop living. But they haven't ended your life yet.

So against the odds, you are alive and here. There's no given purpose, no reason as to why you are the person you are now. You're just lucky. And luck doesn't give you a life after death, because what would death be? A joke, that's what. So you only have one chance not to fuck this all up.

Still... what is the point? Once death grabs you by the neck and snaps the life out of you, what's left? You're gone. What was the point of your existence?

I'm not depressed, I'm not giving up on life. I do believe that life should be lived out to its fullest, because you only have one chance, so why not? But in the big picture, when everything is all over, why does it matter?

I'm sitting in my Spanish class. The bell has rung, but the talking and the laughter of high school students has not ceased. It's a Friday, a happy day for us. The teacher is in a good mood. Summer is almost here, a much needed break for everyone. It reminds me how close I am to living in the real world.

Across from me is my boyfriend. He's wonderful. I'm glad to say that we aren't like the other high school couples. We're down to earth, and we've got it together. I guess I say this in a somewhat bragging way, but these days it's such a rarity that I have to be proud.

I can see myself with him for the rest of my life. Sure, realistically, it probably won't happen that way, but you can't keep a girl from dreaming. I know him and he knows me. It's certainly a possibility.

I look at him. My boyfriend. What's next? Fiance, husband. What's after that? The happiness we get from being together is definitely something I enjoy, but then it comes back to me - what's the point? Happiness feels good, I know. Everyone, including me, wants it. But when I think in the bigger picture, it only seems foolish and irrelevant.

My friend is sitting to my right. He tells a joke, and my boyfriend laughs. It may not be the most attractive thing ever, but I think it is beautiful on him. I look at him, I blink. And my mind takes a picture, so I can save this moment forever.

That's just it - it won't be forever. Time will take its toll. When the processes of my brain stop and I take my last breath, it will disappear just like I will. The moment will be gone, just like me.

The image in my mind turns black and white. I imagine it lost forever in time and space sometime in the future. I know it will be gone, but I hold on to it for as long as I can, just because I can. Someday, no one will ever know it happened, and even if they did, no one would care. The emotional connections are severed with the death of the memory.

Class is over in a flash, and I'm in his arms before leaving to take the bus home. He kisses me goodbye, and that feeling of happiness comes over me again. But it doesn't last forever. Nothing ever does.

The bus ride home is quick and painless. However, it misses my stop and I have to remind the bus driver that I'm here. It's okay; I know how to walk.

The driveway to my house is long. My feet move without me thinking about it. It's a big house. I know my family has money, and I know I am living a more luxurious life than many. I still think it doesn't matter in the end, because we all end up in the same place. We disappear.

People say that you need to leave a legacy. They say that you need to leave your mark on the world. But what's the point? Everyone will be forgotten at one point. And what good does it do for you if you're remembered? It's not like you will be there to enjoy it. So happiness is fleeting, as all things are. Nothing lasts for eternity.

Regardless, I think life is worth living. If we weren't so human and weak, then maybe things would be different. The truth is that we are defenseless at the hands of the universe. Human nature makes us crave the happiness and joys of the world - the things that don't last forever. In the long run, nothing good comes out of it, but we desire it nonetheless.

Life, I think, in the end, is pointless. When it comes to eternity, nothing truly matters.