We're Slightly Less Screwed

“This is where you live?” Sides asked. His holoform popped up next to me.

“When I’m not restricted to base, it’s where I try to live.”

He pulled in the driveway giving me a clear view of the garage. “Something’s wrong,” I said. “Slater has a Mustang and a Ferrari. Both are missing.”

“And?”

“Primus, this whole situation has you fucking stupid. She can’t drive two cars at once.”

“Maybe she took one somewhere and is driving the other.”

“She hates the Stang. Absolutely fucking hates it. I’m not quite sure why, but she refuses to drive it unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

I got out of Sides and walked inside.

“SLATER!” I yelled.

Nothing, not that I expected a response, but still.

I ran up the stairs to her room. Nothing was out of place.

“Sides, take out anything that could be communicating with an outside source.”

“Easy. Done.”

“You sense anything?”

“I’ve got my scanners running, but I’m not picking anything up.”

I bit my lip. “Down stairs.”

I led him to my room. I flopped into my chair and rolled to my desk. I pulled out my phone. I opened it and immediately it came to life. “T3, check T2 for any disturbances.”

“T2? T3?”

“Teletraan 2 and Teletraan3. My phone is Teletraan 4, and that tablet that Ratchet and I made is Teletraan 5.”

“You’ve been busy.”

“Had to do something, while you trained.”

“I just assumed you shopped.”

“Shopping is only so entertaining, when you’re doing it from behind a screen.”

“One disturbance. Attempted hack from one Rick Mae.”

“Fucking moron,” I mumbled. “How bad?”

“The firewall had nearly been taken down.”

“He’s not nearly smart enough for that!” I yelled. “Tell me everything about both the attempted hack and him where he’s been, who he’s been with, all of it.”

“You think he took Slater?” Sides asked.

“No. She would’ve kicked his ass. I think he had help.”

“Con help?”

I nodded. The information flew across the screen, and I saw it.

“Fuck!” I swore. “He was here! In the house! I swear to Primus that I-”

“That’s not him,” Sides said. “That’s a decepticon.”

I took a second to absorb the information. “Then Rick’s probably dead in his warehouse,” I speculated.

I ran my hand through my hair. “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Teletraan security footage!”

Slater had left, and then the Rick bot broke in. I’m assuming they had gone to Rick, since that mother fucker sold me the tech. He tried to hack into Teletraan, but apparently was commed something, took the mustang and left.

I got up grabbed one of my over sized purses from my closet and threw my essentials into it. Teletraans 3-5, my papers, and some cash.

“We’re going to Rick’s warehouse.”

“For what. He’s propbably-“

“Because we’re gonna leave N.E.S.T. a little goodbye note, then we’re going to get our blondes.”



“There,” I said, checking over my handy work, ignoring the smell of death in the air.

Sideswipe glanced over my shoulder.

“A triangle?”

“It’s a pyramid.”

“A pyramid?”

“Yes, a pyramid.”

“Looks like a-“

I cut him off. “Let’s go.”

I walked out to his altmode and hopped in.

I pulled out T5. “T5 get me a lock on Slater’s location.”

“There’s no way you’re gonna find her that easy. The cons-“

“60.0000° N, 105.0000° E”

“Siberia. Fucking amazing.”

“How’d you find her so easily?” Sides asked, shocked.

“I had a tracking microchip implanted under her skin in her left arm. I made it and bribed one of her doctors to inject, when she cut her hand making some metal sculpture thing.”

“You had to bribe the doctor? Didn’t he just- She doesn’t know.”

“Nope. I’ve said it before. I had a period of extreme paranoia.

“Anyways. My family has a fleet of jets and cargo planes constantly bouncing around the globe carrying supplies to the various hotels. I’ll see whichever is closet, and we’ll drive from there.”

“You’re one amazing squishy,” Sides said.

“Yeah. Well I don’t take well to people fucking with my family.”