Sink Or Swim

Kellin was on the road again for yet another tour. The guys were in the main room playing video games. They asked him if he wanted to join them but he decided he wanted to clear his head and just sit in his bunk and listen to some music. Then, the song Sink or Swim by Falling in Reverse started playing and it reminded him of his high school girlfriend, Carolyn. He had met her when he transferred to a different school his junior year.

Kellin walked into the building with his backpack on his back and his hand tightly wrapped around one of the straps. He was slightly nervous going into the big building but who wasn’t? It was his first day at a new school and he had no idea where any of his classes where. He wandered around the school until he found his locker and then tried to find his homeroom. After walking for what felt like half an hour he finally found the room he was supposed to go. He quickly found a seat in the back of the room next to a girl who was doodling in one of her new notebooks. Kellin, being curious, glanced over at her doodles. She was sketching an old Polaroid camera with a photo coming out of it. He was blown away at how good it was and decided that the girl needed to know how great she was at drawing.

“Hey, I couldn’t help but notice that that’s a pretty awesome drawing,” he told her after getting her attention.

“Thanks,” the girl replied quietly and then started drawing again.

Kellin waited a minute or two before talking again.

“My name’s Kellin Quinn,” he told her while putting out his hand for her to shake.

The girl just stared at her hand for a bit before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and then quietly replying, “Hi, I’m Carlolyn Ross.” She slowly took his hand an softly shook it.

Kellin remembered how innocent and pretty she looked when she was sketching the picture. He remembered how they became close friends and learned every secret about her, even her biggest secret that she hadn’t told anyone.

Kellin and Carolyn were walking in the park one day, just smiling and holding hands. Not too long ago Kellin had asked her to be his girlfriend and she had agreed. Suddenly, Carolyn stopped in her tracks which forced Kellin to stop too.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked his girlfriend with a slight frown on his face.

“I have something to tell you,” she told him while looking at her feet.

“You can tell me anything baby, you know that,” he told her softly while kissing her forehead.

“But, this is something really serious and I know that after you hear this you might not want to be with me anymore,” she told him.

“Carolyn, babe, you’re scaring me now. What could be so bad that I would break up with you?” he asked her as he put his hand under her chin so that she would be looking at him in the eye. Carolyn just dragged him over to one of the benches that were scattered around the park. They both sat down and Kellin started to search her eyes to see if he could figure out what was wrong with his girlfriend. Then Carolyn’s eyes started to well up with tears and it wasn’t until the first tear dropped that Kellin asked once more what was wrong.

“W-well, I j-just wanted to l-let you know something, since you’re by b-boyf-friend,” she stuttered through her tears.

“You can tell me anything,” Kellin reassured her while putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I-it all started when my d-dad walked out on us. S-since I thought that he d-didn’t love me I tried to get attention from other guys. I thought that no guy could love me, but then I m-met Dustin. He t-told me he l-loved me but after that he s-started to t-take off my clothes and I tried to s-top him, I r-really did, b-but he just w-wouldn’t…” Carolyn explained before breaking down.

“So, he raped you?” Kellin clarified. When Carolyn nodded he immediately got pissed at this Dustin guy. “Where is that bastard? I’ll fucking kill him.”

“I h-haven’t seen him since then,” Carolyn said softly.

“Well, I’ll make sure that it stays that way and if you ever see him again call me and I’ll be there before you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” Kellin told her with a small smile.

Carolyn just hugged him tightly.

Kellin was extremely surprised when Carolyn told him this news and at the time he would’ve done anything to protect her since he was so in love with her. He was so blinded by his love that he didn’t see the obvious factors of Carolyn’s betrayal.

It had been six months since they started dating and Carolyn and Kellin where in Carolyn’s room where they were in the midst of a heavy make out session. Suddenly, Carolyn said that she had to use the bathroom so that left Kellin alone in her bedroom. Kellin hoped that she would hurry back soon since he had a little problem of his own that he hoped she would take care of. Suddenly he started to think of different scenarios that might take place when Carolyn returned from the bathroom. He was brought back to reality when Carolyn’s phone went off. Kellin didn’t know if he should pick up the phone or not but in the end decided to pick it up just in case it was her mom telling her something important like her grandma just died or something like that.

“Hello?” Kellin said into the phone.

“Hey, who’s this?” the person on the other end asked.

“Um, Kellin, Carolyn’s boyfriend. Who’s this?” he asked.

“Uhhh, it’s D-Anthony,” they said.

“Okay, what do you need, Anthony?” Kellin asked.

“Just tell Carolyn to call me back,” the person told him.

“Sure,” Kellin to them. Right after he said this they hung up and Carolyn walked into the room. Kellin just stared at the phone wondering who that guy was and why he was calling his girlfriend.

“Hey, baby,” Carolyn greeted. Kellin looked up from the phone and his eyes widened as he saw her in lacy lingerie.

“Whoa, you look beautiful,” Kellin told her with a big smile.

“Thanks, babe, why are you holding my phone?” she asked him.

“Oh, some guy called while you were in the bathroom. Do you know an Anthony?” he asked her.

“Yeah, he’s my big brother,” she told him.

“I didn’t know you had an older brother,” Kellin said while looking at her in the eyes.

“Yeah, he goes to college in California,” Carolyn told him. “Now, enough about my brother, let’s get back to us,” she said while taking the phone out of his hand and gently pushing him down on her bed.

Kellin could not believe that he was so stupid and naïve back then. Of course that wasn’t her brother! She didn’t even have a fucking brother! But back then his brain didn’t register that fact until a couple months later when she told him that she couldn’t hang out with him for a week since her brother was coming back down to Florida to visit her and her family.

”Hey, sexy, I just wanted to let you know that I can’t hang out with you next week because my brother’s coming back home and we’re having a family week to spend time with him,” Carolyn told him.

“Sure, is it okay if I text you though?” he asked her.

“Um, sure,” Carolyn said.

“Awesome, I hope next week goes by quickly. I don’t think I can handle going a week without seeing your beautiful face. I love you, sweetheart,” Kellin said into the phone.

“Yeah, yeah, me too,” Carolyn said into the phone and then hastily hung up. For the rest of the day Kellin just sat around his room and played video games wanting this week to pass by quickly.

It was now one week from the phone call that Kellin had with his girlfriend and he was so excited to see her again. He quickly got dressed and rushed over to her house and knocked on the door. He just stood there quietly with a big smile on his face. The door started to open and Kellin was surprised to see that the person who answered the door wasn’t Carolyn but it was a shirtless guy instead.

“Who is it Dustin?” Kellin heard Carolyn ask the man from the other room.

“Some gay looking dude,” ‘Dustin’ replied back not breaking eye contact with Kellin.

“Uh, I’m not some gay looking dude, I’m her boyfriend,” Kellin told this ‘Dustin’ guy while glaring at him.

Carolyn then ran into the doorway with a baggy shirt on and her hair messed up.

“Kellin! I wasn’t expecting you! I thought I told you to not contact me for a week!” Carolyn told him with a frazzled expression.

“Yeah, well if you could count correctly it’s been a week and I just wanted to see my girlfriend as soon as possible. Guess I was the only one thinking of that, huh?” Kellin spat at her angrily. How the hell could she do this to him?! All Kellin did was love her but she just had to throw that love back into his face didn’t she? Who even was this guy?!

“Oh, well. I think that we should break up. I’ve felt like this for a while and I just feel like we’re not connecting like we used to. I hope we can still be friends though,” Carolyn told him smiling at the end.

“Friends?! You want to fucking be friends with me?! After everything we’ve been through you’re just going to throw it away from some guy who looks like he uses steroids twice a day?! Whatever, bitch. I can’t believe ever I loved you,” Kellin yelled at her and then stormed into his car and angrily stormed off.

It wasn’t until a couple of hours later that Kellin realized something important. That guy’s name was Dustin. The guy who raped her was named Dustin and since Dustin wasn’t a common name that must mean…

“No!” Kellin shouted when he came to this conclusion. Carolyn dumped him for the guy who had raped her out of all people?! That just couldn’t happen! Maybe he was blackmailing her into being with him! Yeah, that’s what’s happening, Kellin thought to himself. Maybe she was waiting for his help! She wanted him to save her from the weirdo! She had never wanted to break up with him in the first place!

Kellin quickly got into his car for the second time that day and drove to Carolyn’s house. He knocked on the door and Dustin answered the door again. He punched Dustin in the face and he fell down to the floor. Then, Carolyn walked in and screamed when she saw Dustin on the floor.

“What did you do?!” she screeched at Kellin.

“I’m here to save you! You can runaway now! You’re safe let’s go, before he wakes up!”

Kellin ran to his car but then realized that she wasn’t following him. He quickly walked back to the door. “What are you waiting for?! Now’s your chance to get away from the bastard who raped you!” he told her while pointing at Dustin who was still on the ground.

“He didn’t rape me,” Carolyn said quietly.

“What?” Kellin asked her not sure if he heard properly. “Did you just say that he didn’t rape you?” he asked.

“Yeah, I made the whole thing up,” she told him while looking at Dustin’s face.

“Why would you do that?! Rape is not a subject to joke about!” Kellin yelled at her.

“I thought you wouldn’t like me anymore if I told you that,” she told him calmly. “Most men don’t like the idea of damaged goods but you just had to be different! You became more loving and it seemed like you started to like me even more! Which is the opposite of what I wanted to happen!” she said while glaring at him.

“Wow, you really disliked me that much? So much that you would lie about getting raped to push me away? Why would you do that? I thought you liked me and that we would be together forever,” Kellin told her quietly.

“That’s the thing though. You were suffocating me with love and I just had to get away,” Carolyn told him.

“Oh, well if that’s the case then I hope you and Dustin have a great life together,” Kellin told her softly and then ran out of house and into his car. It was a miracle how he didn’t crash his car since he was blinded by tears the whole ride home. How could she do this to me? He thought to himself. He had really loved her with all of his heart and it didn’t help with the fact that she was his first real girlfriend.

Kellin laughed bitterly when he thought of that memory. Nine years had passed since that happened and he could still remember every detail. It wasn’t that he hadn’t forgiven her and he was still bitter towards her it was just that he couldn’t believe that he let a girl do that to him. He was one who let himself get put in that situation and to get betrayed like that. He learned his lesson since then and hasn’t let a girl into his heart since.

“Hey, Kellin, dude, get over here!” he heard Gabe yell. Kellin clicked the pause button on his iPod and took out his headphones and walked to where everyone else was.

“What?” he asked the guys.

“You will not believe what we just found out,” Gabe told him motioning for him to sit down.

“Okay, what happened?” Kellin asked.

“Well, you remember Carolyn Ross right? Your ex-girlfriend?” Gabe asked him. Wow, talk about ironic. Kellin was just thinking about her a few moments before and here she was being brought up once again.

“Yeah I remember her,” Kellin said bitterly.

“Well, it seems that Jesse, here, knows a person who knows her and word’s going around that she got knocked up,” Gabe informed.

“Really? Well, that sucks. Is the dude going to stay around?” he asked.

“Nope, he bolted as soon as he heard the news,” Jesse told him
.
“Aren’t you glad you got rid of her ass?” Jack asked him.

“Yup, so glad,” Kellin said to himself as he walked back to his bunk with a smile on his face.

He knew that it was extremely mean to be happy that someone got knocked up and was going to have to deal with it by themselves, but what can you say? Karma’s a bitch.