Caught Up In You

December 31st, 2011
Saturday Night
Location: Dorm
7:23 PM

“You need to get to the hospital, now,” Rose replied, sounding impassive and emotionless.

“What’s wrong? Who’s hurt?” I exclaimed, my voice covered in worry.

“Just get here,” she said, briefly hanging up, leaving me in wonder.

I picked up my jacket from the floor and put it on, quickly rushing out the door. I headed off to find Pacey. If someone was hurt, I would need him for moral support. The elevator was running especially slow. I didn’t know if it was because there were a lot of people just leaving the party, or if it was experiencing some malfunctions. But I did know that I needed to get to the hospital and see what was going on.

I sighed, knowing the doors weren’t going to open any time soon. Therefore, my alternative was to take the stairs. I ran down the hallway and briefly took a sharp right. I opened the door and jumped when it slammed centimeters behind me. I ran down the stairs and soon realized I was terribly out of shape. Not being able to breathe, I slowed down, but kept going. I was sadly very elated when the staircase had ended. I opened the door and found Pacey sitting in a chair by the office. He looked up at me and sneered before averting his eyes from mine. I knew he wasn’t going to forgive me immediately. However, he wasn’t going to be able to ignore me for the rest of his life.

I sat in a stool next to him and exhaled deeply.

“Pacey,” I started to say.

He didn’t look at me though, not even a glance.

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad at me. It’s not like I actually did those….er….things with him. I like you….okay? He doesn’t even compare to you,” I said.

No answer.

“Fine, I’m the worst girlfriend in the world. Now that we’ve established that, I need to get to the hospital, pronto,” I said.

Finally, he lifted his head up at me and met my glance. His eyes widened. I read his expression easily.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but Rose called me and told me it was urgent. And if someone’s hurt, I cannot get through that alone. You’re my rock,” I confessed.

Pacey looked at me for a couple of seconds before sighing and standing up.

“I’m doing this for Rose, not for you,” he grumbled, his voice low and husky.

An instant sigh of relief took over me as we walked to the bus stop in perfect silence. He was still mad at me, which was a fact. But he couldn’t stay angry forever. That was just who he was. Pacey couldn’t hold grudges well.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked me as we took our seats at the bus stop.

“Anything,” I replied.

“Honestly, do you like him?” Pacey asked.

I gulped.

How could I answer that when I didn’t even know it myself? I tapped a finger against my thigh in an attempt to calm down and clear my head.

“Even if I did, he will never compare to how I feel about you,” I said.

And that was the truth. Pacey meant the world to me. No one could replace the feelings I had for him. We just meshed well. We were meant for each other.

“Would you tell me if you did have feelings for this guy?” He said, peering at me, his eyes hiding a bit of sorrow.

I glanced at the concrete, noticing my feet nervously tapping against one another. I looked to my left and saw the bus arriving, loudly crunching over the graveled road. When it came to a loud and obnoxious stop in front of us, Pacey stood up and tugged on his loose jeans.

“That’s what I thought,” he smirked, walking up the steps and onto the bus. That’s what I hated about Pacey. Even when he was absolutely exasperated, he plastered an almost believable smile onto his ruddy, semi-freckled face.

I strutted up the three steps and deposited a couple of coins into the slot. The driver smiled at me and promptly closed the doors. The bus started and drove away, hurling me onto the floor. A couple of people stifled their laughter, while others busted out into hysterics. I groaned and picked myself up, dusting my jeans off and regaining my balance. I abruptly followed Pacey to the back of the bus, attempting to avoid falling over again.

I sat next to him, but I didn’t say anything. Actually, I couldn’t say anything. He would just twist my words around and make me look like the bad guy. Even if I was the bad guy, I didn’t intentionally do anything to hurt him.

Pacey scooted as far away from me as he could. He turned his direction away from me and looked out the window. His hands were rested on his thighs, nervously moving every which way.

He was a wreck, and I was wicked.

It wasn’t because of the dreams that I had felt that way. The dreams had made me realize that I wasn’t perfect, and that was okay. They made me realize that maybe I’m not faithful. But most of all, if anything, Drake was just a fling. Maybe I did secretly like him, but that shouldn’t have mattered. I knew I wouldn’t do anything with him as long as I was dating Pacey.

Furthermore, I would never cheat on Pacey. Never. He meant way too much to me to just throw our relationship away. Not only did those dreams open my eyes to the world, they also compelled me to understand that I was wonderfully, formidably head over heels in love with him. And I needed him to know that, even if he hated me. I was going to pull my act together.

“Pacey,” I began to say.

He didn’t budge, not even a flinch.

My fingers were repeatedly tapping against the hem of my jeans. I was so anxious. I just couldn’t concentrate. But, knowing I had to calm down, I inhaled deeply, and then let out my breath.

”Can you please look at me?” I asked him, waiting as patiently as I could.

His head deliberately turned and faced me, looking as lifeless and unreadable as ever. When his distraught, piercing blue eyes met mine, I opened my mouth.

"I don’t understand why you’re so jealous, Pacey. I mean, He's just a friend. I don’t see him as anything more. But you shouldn’t have anything to worry about because you’re the guy I care about. You’re the guy I would do anything for. You’re the guy I have uncontrollably fallen in love with. No one, even a boy I’ve known forever, can change that,” I uttered apprehensively.

As much as he tried to hide it, I noticed his eyes were gleaming. The edges of his lips pointed upwards into a smile. His small dimples made an indent as his grin grew bigger and bigger.

“Is that the truth?” He asked, intentionally moving himself closer to me.

I wasn’t anticipating on telling him, especially because we had only been together for a month. But it was unfathomably accurate. I had never felt this way about anyone before. Whenever I looked at him, my palms grew sweaty and my heart would nearly pounce right out of my chest. My breathing became erratic and my body felt numb and tingly all over. I was the happiest person in the world, not because I was with him, but because I was myself around him.

I nodded at him sheepishly, becoming more and more restless every second. All of this was new for me. I was used to abusive, controlling relationships. This was like opening up an entirely different world.

Pacey smiled, his thin lips exposing his almost straight, perfectly white teeth.

He leaned into me, pressing his silky lips against mine, just enough pressure so that fireworks exploded throughout my body. My heart fluttered fitfully, requiring me to take a deep breath. I relaxed, feeling more than exhilarated. He pulled away tenderly, his lively eyes fluttering open.

“Would it be cheesy to say I love you too?” He asked teasingly.

I giggled.

“Yes, extremely cheesy,” I laughed, resting my head on his shoulders.

“Well, in that case, I love you too,” he spoke confidently, his smile growing wider.

He kissed my forehead melodiously, wrapping an arm around my body and pulling me into him.

“Does this mean we’re okay?” I asked optimistically.

Pacey nodded.

“Yes, we’re okay,” he said.

By the time I looked out the window, we were already at the entrance of the hospital. We stood up and entwined our fingers together, walking pleasantly off of the bus. As soon as we had hopped off of the last step, the doors slammed violently shut and the bus sped down the road, hitting puddles and splashing water against the pavement.

“You ready?” He asked, looking as scared as I was.

I dubiously nodded, completely unsure of what we were about to encounter. I sighed, squeezing Pacey’s hand as tight as I could without pulling his fingers off, and slowly walked into the hospital.

Within seconds of opening the doors, millions of different noises splattered all over us. Some people were crying vociferously, gasping for breath and trying to keep themselves together, while others snored, obviously pinpointing they had been there for hours. Looking around, I realized I couldn’t see Rose. But just as I was about to ask the receptionist, a door opened and she popped out.

“Rose!” I exclaimed, mentally laughing as her head snapped around intensely. Her eyes were red and blotchy, smeared with black mascara and eyeliner. Her face was still covered in tears. However, a smile was coated across her lips.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was going on over the phone. I just needed to tell you in person,” she said, her smile getting so big that it looked almost painful.

“So…” I said impatiently, moving my arms around.

“”My mom woke up!” She laughed in happiness, tears sprawling out everywhere.

My grip on Pacey’s hand loosened, and I watched as his fingers gained color again. I apparently was grasping much harder than I thought.

“Oh my gosh! Rose! That’s fantastic!” I said, jumping onto her and hugging her tightly.

“I’m sorry, I look like a complete mess,” she apologized.

“It’s cool, I’d be rolling on the floor in hysterics,” I said.

“Did you get to see her?” Pacey asked.

Rose nodded.

“She looked really confused at first. But then we both started bawling. Her boyfriend is in there right now, seeing how she's feeling. Gosh, I’m so relieved,” she said.

That was an absolute miracle. Rose’s mom had been in a coma for almost seven months. All the pain she had felt during that time had instantly vanished. I couldn’t have been happier for her.

“Of course, the doctors are insisting she stays here for one more week until we can take her home. They have to run some tests and make sure she’s okay,” Rose said after she calmed down.

“So I take it you’re not going to be at school for a couple of weeks?” I asked.

“Yeah. I called the school and the administration said it would be good for me to take some time to reconnect with my mom,” she replied.

“Just contact me about everything, okay?” I told her.

Rose smiled.

“You guys don’t have to stay here. You know that, right?” She asked as we began to sit down.

“Oh,” I said, standing straight up and looking at Pacey.

“Go home, I’ll see you guys later,” she said, giving both of us a hug.

Seeing Rose like that had made me realize that that’s what life is about; never giving up hope. Even if someone can’t be with you, they’re still there, just in a different way. And Rose showed courage and determination. She never gave up on her mom, just like Pacey never gave up on me.