Caught Up In You

March 30th, 2012
Friday Night
Drake’s Dorm
9:00 PM

It had been a couple of weeks after my fight with Pacey, and everything was going seemingly well. No, we still weren’t necessarily talking. But Pacey had apologized for acting the way he had.

But he still had to care for me in some way, right?

I mean, he did defend me when I was so close to being sent home.

That had to mean something.

~~*~~
“Have you ever… stayed up for more than twenty-four hours?” I asked Drake. No one was home, so it was just the two of us. We were used to this really. His roommates were only there to sleep, which was only for about four hours. Other than that, he got the whole place to himself. And although it was lonely, it was pretty convenient.

Drake and I had spent the day together, like we had been doing. I hadn’t even been home yet. I went straight to his dorm after school.

We had just gotten done eating pizza and playing old fashioned card games. And since we were all out of ideas on what to do, we decided on cheesy middle school recreations.

“Yes, I have. It was not very fun,” he said, reminiscing in the past. He gazed at me then, and I felt strange, almost. Just the way that he looked at me made my emotions run free. I averted my eyes after a couple of seconds. I didn’t want him to ask why I had been awkwardly staring. We were only friends. That would be unacceptable.

“I doubt it would be,” I agreed with him. We were quiet for a couple of minutes until Drake had composed his thoughts. He cleared his throat before continuing.

“Have you ever snuck out of your house?” He asked. I gave him a weird look, mostly because he knew the answer to that.

“You were with me!” I said, laughing at his questioning expression.

When we were young teenagers, we wanted to get a sense of ‘rebellion’. So one night when Drake had slept over at our house, we had conspired to climb out of my window and hang out at the old oak tree. It was only a three minute walk, so it wasn’t too far. Ethan was in it as well, since he had explained to me that Drake was his friend and not mine.

Drake, Ethan and I left the house at one in the morning. I was exhausted, as I was only twelve and typically fell asleep at ten. We all had worn slippers in the sodden field. And because of that mistake, our feet were absolutely soaked.

We stayed there at the old oak tree for hours, I believed. Ethan left about twenty minutes after because he was tired and thought it was stupid to stand around a tree. But Drake and I talked and talked and talked. From middle school to relationships, we conversed about everything. I had even told him some of my deepest secrets. No one else but him knew, even four years later.

It was because of that night that I had feelings for Drake.

I thought that I had stopped caring for Drake when I turned fifteen. But the emotions were pouring back in now, and I didn’t really know how I felt.

“Oh, yeah,” he said, chuckling along with me. I rolled my eyes because of his absentmindedness.

“Have you ever vandalized someone’s house?” I questioned. We had only been playing this game for fifteen minutes. But I was already running out of things to say. That was the thing about Drake. I always lost my train of thought around him because I couldn’t think of anything else.

Drake smiled deviously and gazed at me. “Yeah. Austin’s,” he confessed. My jaw widened and I raised my eyebrows. I couldn’t even speak for several seconds.

“Wait. My ex-boyfriend?” I asked. Drake simply nodded. “Why!?”

“It was a couple years ago when I had found out that you two were dating. I had this huge crush on you, so I was angry. And since Austin and I had never really stood on good ground with each other, I felt like I needed to do something,” he admitted.

“So you’re the one that put Oreos on his windows and stuck spoons in the yard!” I exclaimed. Austin had complained about that at the very beginning of our relationship. I thought it was pretty amusing, but he was enraged.

“Yeah, that was me,” he laughed, his husky tone echoing throughout the open room. That was probably what I loved most about Drake. His voice. It had so much character. It was smooth, yet raspy at the same time. It was like him, so unexplainable.

“Oh my gosh. I never would have guessed that!” I cried, giggling hysterically.

We laughed for endless minutes. It was like old times, where it was just the two of us. I loved that Drake was so comfortable around me, and I was so comfortable around him. We knew each other so well; we didn’t even have to pretend to be someone else.

We eventually settled down. Drake was silent, and I didn’t have anything else to say. But when I thought of his sentence, I had a million questions.

“Drake?” I started, waiting to gain his attention. He turned to me, his light brown eyes full of life and curiosity. “Did you actually like me all those years ago?” I asked. I knew it was stupid, ruminating in the past. But I just wanted to know. I needed to know.

“Yeah, yeah I did,” he said confidently. I liked that about Drake. He never lied about anything. He would be completely poised in every situation.

Even though it was stupid, I couldn’t help but smile. There was just something inside of me that wanted to burst into a big ball of happiness. I didn’t know that all these years, I had been holding back so many emotions. It was like I had lied to myself.

“Wow, that’s crazy,” I whispered. I didn’t think Drake heard me, but sure enough, he did. He looked at me mischievously and furrowed his brows.

“What’s crazy?” He probed, attempting to understand what I meant.

“It’s just that I had this huge … obsession with you when I was younger. I had no idea you liked me. I would have died,” I said, shaking my head at how ridiculous I was.

“I thought it was just me. Wow. That is weird,” Drake said.

We both took numerous seconds to relax and envision what had happened. If I had known that Drake liked me when I was twelve or thirteen, I would have run around the house in excitement. I thought I was in love with him. I thought he was the one.

“Drew, I realize this isn’t really a good time. But, do you think you’ll ever have feelings for me again?” He asked, nervously. It was strange. That was the first time he had ever sounded intimidated. But it was a good question.

I grinned as I examined his features. His brown eyes were sparkling with hope and anxiety. His sandy hair was swept over his forehead, reaching the tips of his long eyelashes. Drake was gorgeous, honestly.

I wasn’t really able to thoroughly answer his query, however. Because by the time I had come up with a proper reply, my lips were against his. I don’t even remember who started it. All I can recollect is that it was probably the best feeling I had ever experienced.

Drake’s lips were so smooth to the touch. So delicate, so supple. And he was so steady and chaste, the total opposite of how it had been when I was with Pacey.

The way his fingers skimmed so briefly over my cheek delivered goose bumps to my skin. The way his sporadic breathing matched mine somehow made me feel at ease. It was weird being so close to someone that I thought would never feel the same way I did.

His hands were so subtle, trailing over my shoulders and leaving mental notes of how he had touched me. I shivered when his strokes became deeper and more definite. But other than that, nothing else was in contact. I felt so distant from him. I needed him. I couldn’t explain the desire that I had for Drake at that moment. It was something I had never felt before, and I was scared.

I lured him to me, drawing him nearer. When his legs touched mine, my body went into a wave of astonishment. I hadn’t realized how much I had desired his affection until now.

I sat on his lap, wrapping my legs around his lower back. Drake softly rested his hands on my back, pulling me closer to him. I couldn’t explain it, but it felt so refreshing to be with Drake at last. It was as if all my middle school fantasies had come true.

Our lips separated for a second, only to be reconnected instantaneously. Things were intensifying fast, and I was genuinely a bit uneasy. But I knew that whatever needed to happen, would happen.

Drake bit down on my lower lip harshly. A pang of sensation and tenderness shot through my entire body, and I was wondering why he had gone from so soothing to extremely lustful.

I parted my lips and rested my forehead against his. “You okay?” He panted, loosening his grip around my waist. I nodded my head furiously.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered. I looked at him, trying to see if he could understand what I was attempting to tell him.

“Um, I don’t know if this is an inappropriate time. But, do you want to-“ I interrupted Drake’s question with a quick kiss.

And with that, he led me to his room.

We were panting heavily. So many emotions filled the small space. But it was just us, and we were one.

No matter how stupid my decisions may have been, I know that sleeping with Drake was one of the best mistakes that ever happened.