Caught Up In You

March 31st, 2012
Saturday Afternoon
Location: Dorm
12:45 pm

The rest of the morning wasn’t as bad as I had expected it to be. Although it was awkward for about an hour, Logan finally came around and told me everything would be all right. He swore to secrecy. But in the back of my mind, I knew that Pacey was eventually going to find out. It was inevitable.

Logan and I had come up with a plan, in a way. It wasn’t great, but it would get Pacey and Tristan off my back about being gone the whole night. I didn’t really think they would buy it, but it was worth a shot.

“Okay, so you were hanging out with Drake and his roommates for a couple of hours. But when you looked at your phone, you realized it was past curfew and if anyone caught you, you’d be in trouble. So, you stayed in Drake’s dorm and slept on the couch until morning,” Logan said, rubbing the back of his head and repositioning himself to get comfortable.

He was smiling, but I knew something was wrong. He had to have been hiding something. He just didn’t look like he normally did.

“Logan, are you okay?” I asked, staring into his eyes. He nodded promptly and lowered his head.

“Yeah, it’s just,” he paused for a second. “Do you really think this is going to work?”

I dropped my gaze and glared at the ground, attempting to make sense of our plan. It didn’t sound very realistic. It might convince Tristan, but I doubted Pacey would believe it. He was stubborn that way. Besides, he had a very difficult time trusting people anyway. And since I was his ex, I was no exception.

“Well, I really have no idea. It’s only going to work if we are absolutely convinced though. It has to be thorough,” I said, practically gritting my teeth. Logan furrowed his brows, but then smiled, letting me know he understood.

“What’s going on?” A voice said around the corridor. “I heard people – oh.”

I turned myself around and saw Pacey standing near the door, his fists clenched and jaw tight. He wasn’t looking directly at me. He couldn’t, in all honestly. I guess it hurt him too much. Pacey shrugged and walked into the kitchen, scouring through the cabinets to find a box of cereal.

“So, where were you last night?” Pacey asked, pouring the grainy oats into a white plastic bowl. He still wasn’t looking at me. Was this how he acted around me now? Was it permanently like this? Would I never get the satisfaction of seeing him look at me again?

I hesitated for a moment. If this didn’t succeed, I was dead. If I thought this was bad, I was in for it. I understood that if Pacey found out about Drake and me, he would never talk to me again. And I didn’t know if I could handle that.

So if I had to lie straight to his angry, agitated face, I would.

It seemed selfish, but I cared about him. In the back of my mind, I still wanted Pacey. I still loved him. And I knew those feelings would never dissipate.

I looked at Logan, and he gestured for me to start talking. Pacey was staring at me, his cold eyes digging through my skull. It sent shivers down my back. I was intimidated, in all reality. The only way to get out of this situation alive was to lie.

So, I took a deep breath and began.

“I was helping Drake out with some homework last night,” I said, waiting for Pacey to roll his eyes before continuing. “His roommates came in and decided to talk with us for a bit. When I was just about to leave, curfew had already passed. I didn’t want to get caught, so I stayed there for the night.”

“Hmm,” Pacey grumbled, chomping through his cereal as if his life depended on it. He scrunched his eyebrows together and glanced at me quickly. “Did you sleep in his room?”

I wanted to yell at him, really. That wasn’t any of his business. Even though I did, that wasn’t for him to know. Why did he think he had the privilege of knowing that? We weren’t dating. Hell, we weren’t even friends. We were just two people living with each other because we didn’t really have another choice.

However, I realized that wasn’t the right answer. I was going to be the bigger person, for once. I looked straight at him and bluntly answered. “No. I slept on the couch,” I declared confidently. Pacey seemed taken aback for several seconds. It was as if he was surprised that I had mustered up that much courage to talk to him like that.

But I was satisfied. Even if he didn’t believe me, he wasn’t going to get another answer. I finally realized that whatever happened between Drake and me was confidential. No one else had the right to know. No one needed to know.

Paced nodded his head before standing up and placed his bowl in the sink. He walked away, his feet sliding across the carpeted floor.

I sighed, falling back onto Logan’s legs. “We did it,” I exclaimed happily, relief flowing through my voice.

“You did it,” Logan corrected. “But just realize, he’s bound to find out sooner or later.”

And as much as I wanted to deny it, Logan was right. It was Pacey’s nature to snoop around until he found the answer to his problems.

It was just a matter of time before my life fell apart.