Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

”Really. I’m fine.” Milly insisted, starting to get up. Gwen pushed her back down and glared at her friend as only a best friend can.

”Sit the fuck down. You’re getting stitches..”

”I’m fine...” she repeated, slowly. ”Are stitches really necessary? It’s just a cut...” It wasn’t just a cut, a heavy metal roller door had hit her, at some speed, right in the hook of her head, knocking her out. She had finally got to see the cleared out warehouse space she was designing for Gwen’s wedding, they were heading back to the car to fetch the key items and fabrics Gwen wanted when it had happened.

”Matilda you’ve sustained a hefty blow to the skull, it’s not just that you’re in need of stitches, you’re suffering a concussion.” the doctor explained as he washed and gloved his hands. ”You were right to have come here.” her eyes darted to Gwen and her fiance Dax, she snorted in forced humor.

”I didn’t have a choice, I was piled into their car like a sack of potatoes.” the doctor couldn’t help but laugh aloud, before composing himself and getting back to the task at hand, prepping Milly’s head for stitches.

”Hey, you’re the one that got knocked out.. I was just the driver. Dax put you in the car..”

”Babe.. holy shit, are you alright?” Seth asked, appearing through the door like a flash, Bam carrying Oscar in tow.

”I’m fine.”

”What happened? Have an idea?” Bam remarked. She mimicked laughing.

”The thought of you and my son terrorising me for a whole week crossed my mind and round house kicked the inside of my skull...”

”James kicked the stick that was holding the warehouse door up, the back of Mal’s head took the brunt of it falling closed. She was out for about ten minutes or so. Hasn’t stopped whinging since.”

”Who’s James?” Bam asked.

”James is my friend.” Oscar said simply, not to bothered by what was going on. He was a regular in the emergency ward; buttons up the nose, hair tangled so tightly in a toy car’s wheels that Milly was afraid it would scalp him if she tried to untangle him; Lego men heads in his ear holes; popped sockets; super glued fingers; she was surprised she didn’t know the attending doctor already.

”He’s definitely not my friend anymore.” Milly winced.

”Okay, I won’t have to remove too much hair, just a tiny patch that isn’t noticeable already, okay?” he explained, removing the surgical razor from the packet. She had already been injected with the local anesthetic, much to her initial discomfort. It didn’t take him long to sew her back together, it took him fives times as long to convince Milly that staying in for observation over night was the sensible thing to do in regards to a head trauma. Naturally, she was being stubborn, so he had resorted to scare tactics, telling her of Natasha Richardson, an actress, who died an hour after hitting her head skiing.

Gwen and Dax left to take James home, Seth had to be at the showcase of one of his bands and she had told Bam to take Oscar home, finally giving her some peace and quiet. She wasn’t aloud to focus her eyes too much on anything, television, reading, etc... In the first hour of laying on the hospital bed she felt like she was wasting time she could be spending working, she wasn’t even aloud to sleep to pass the time as it wasn’t advisable after a concussion, so every half hour a nurse would come by and check on her. Always just as she dozed off, a small hand would gently grasp her arm and slowly shake until she woke. This time was slightly different, rather than a small hand gently touching her arm, it was a rough palm covering her hand and squeezing.

”Hello sailor.” Mige grinned from beside her, she opened her sticky eyes and saw him standing with Linde and Ville, all with the same amused yet worried look on their faces. ”Bam tells us you argued until you almost passed out again about staying, so we thought we’d keep you company.”

”I didn’t pass out, I was knocked out.” she replied, pushing herself to a more comfortable sitting position.

”Still with the arguing.” Linde laughed, placing a bag in her lap. ”We got you these.” she opened the thin plastic bag to reveal tiny, hard shelled, fruits.

”Lychees?”

”They’re way cooler than rotten old grapes. Peeling them will waste some time.” he smirked.

”You guys are the sweetest arse holes.” she chuckled, ”Thanks.” she looked at them all expectantly, ”Well, sit down then!” Mige and Ville took the two seats and Linde sat himself on the end of the bed, she curled her legs up to her body and wrapped her arms around them. Linde lifted a white garment in the air and laughed.

”Argued your way out of the robe then?” she nodded with a smirk.

”Yes I did. Being knocked out was embarrassing enough, I don’t need to show my underwear to everyone because I’ve hurt my head.”

”So you’re okay then?” Ville asked, a knowing smile playing on his lips. He knew she hated being fussed over, Jesse broke her arm a few years ago and she refused to see anybody until the lump in her arm was so swollen she couldn’t move her body without it hurting her arm. It had to be drained and reset, she rested for one day before she was back doing things again, to this day if anyone ran their hand over her forearm they could feel a slight bump where the bone didn’t reset perfectly in line.

”I just have a headache..” she responded before cellular chirping sounded from Ville’s pocket. He pulled it out and stared at the screen before turning it to silent and letting it vibrate. As she watched him, she noticed a mark on his finger that she’d not picked up on until just now.

”What’s on your finger?” she asked inquisitively.

”Hmm?” he responded with tight lips, absent mindedly.

”Is it a tattoo, what is it? I’ve not noticed it before.”

”It’s nothing.” he said simply, curling his thumb around to cover it.

”Ville.” she said with a confused laugh. She reached and took his hand, studying the small tattoo.

”J.” she wondered aloud, running her thumb over it, with her mind being so frazzled due to the concussion it took her a moment, ”Oh...” He cleared his throat and took his hand back, stuffing it into one of his pockets. ”Have you called her yet?”

”She hasn’t stopped bloody calling him.” Mige sniffed, obviously irritated by her actions.

”No, not yet, no..” he replied, scratching his head and staring at the ground before flicking his eyes up quickly to look into hers.

”You should.” she suggested, sincerely, ”I’d be worried sick if Seth hadn’t contacted me in almost three weeks.”

”Time differences, you know.” he shrugged.

”Bullshit, there’s a ten hour difference. It’s 8am there, call her.” Milly insisted, knowing that if it were her, she would be in pieces if Ville hadn’t made any contact what so ever whilst in a different country. His phone started buzzing again, from the look on his face and that of Mige and Linde’s, it was obvious it was her who had continually been trying to reach him, ”Answer it...” she repeated, ”Don’t be a bastard...” she smiled. He reluctantly nodded and excused himself from the room, answering as the door closed behind him.

”Crazy bitch.” Mige muttered.

”Cut it out.” Linde fired at him. ”Sorry Milly...” she shook her head.

”None of my business.” she shrugged. Mige scoffed loudly.

”Yes it is. Fuck!” he exclaimed, standing from his chair abruptly and pacing the small room. ”Jesus, I can’t believe what I’ve been seeing these past few weeks. My god.”

”Mige!” Linde said sternly.

”What? What’s the matter?”

”You! Both of you!” he explained, gesturing at the door Ville left through. ”You were the most in love people I’ve ever known and you’re acting like this!”

”Acting like what, Mige?”

”Fucking normal. Like, like nothing ever fucking happened.”

”So? We’re adults.” she said defensively.

”You had his fucking kid, Milly.” he growled, this was the first time anyone had shown anger towards her because of it. It felt horrible. She looked down guiltily, knowing it was deplorable and that Mige knew it. ”You had his kid and he shacked up with the fucking home wrecker. That bitch ruined your lives! And you’re telling him to fucking call her?! Are you mental?!”

”Mi-”

”Yes. The answer is yes, you are fucking mental.”

”Dude.” Linde said quietly, touching his friends shoulder. Mige knocked his hand away and walked back to his chair, sitting on the edge of it, leaning in to Milly.

”You have to tell him that Oscar is his child, Matilda. It’s gone past you being angry at him, it’s become spiteful... He plays with his son and doesn’t even know. Bam might be on your side, but I’ve known you a lot longer and I know you’re better than this and I’m disappointed. You have to tell him, or I will.”

”You don’t have the rig-” she started angrily.

”I have every fucking right!” he shouted. ”It’s a child. His child. Your child. Not some object you can keep secret!” he pushed his seat away and was standing angrily again. ”I hate that woman, I fucking despise her. She destroyed my best friends, she took something away from me and she’s being rewarded by getting married? No. No... Ville deserves better. Ville deserves to know he has a child. I don’t care what happened, because Oscar happened. He doesn’t love Jonna; he exists. He exists in a purgatory he put himself in when you left. His son will bring him out of it. I want my friend back. I want you back.”

”How do I tell him?!” she asked, she had begun to cry. The guilt finally washing over her like a tsunami wave.

”You just fucking do.”

”He’ll hate me...” she sobbed. He nodded.

”Probably. Until he realises that it’s real life and that together you made a fucking fantastic kid.”

”I don’t want him to hate me. I miss him so much...” Linde comforted her by placing a hand on her knee and squeezing reassuringly.

”We’ll be here for you Milly, you just need to do it. It’s going to be tough, none of us know how he’ll take it... I just, I don’t even know how he hasn’t worked it out himself yet.”

”He’s enamored with just seeing you. You need to tell him before he realises and hates you even more for not having the balls to tell him yourself.” Mige said, finally calmed, ”You know him as well as we do. Honesty, even late honesty, is the only way.”

”It’ll ruin my relationship with Seth. He’ll leave.”

”Good, he’s a rotten partner. There’s something sneaky about him I don’t like.” Mige blurted. Linde shot him a deathly glare, they had discussed Seth in private, it wasn’t his place to comment on him to Milly, especially now. ”If you don’t do it soon, I will Milly. I love you to death, but I’m so fucking serious.”

Tears dribbled down her cheeks, she knew what she had done was wrong, but to have one of her oldest and dearest friends tell her that he was disappointed in her, just destroyed her. The door clicked and Ville entered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. She quickly wiped her cheeks with each sleeve and composed herself.

”Everything all right?” she asked with forced chirpiness. Ville wasn’t dense, he picked up on the atmosphere in the room immediately; he looked from Milly, to the placement of Linde’s hand on her knee, to a vexed Mige sitting with crossed arms staring at the ground.

”Should I be asking the same thing?”

”I have to leave...” Mige said abruptly, standing from his seat and moving behind it, ”The hospital is making me feel queasy.”

”We only just got here?” Ville noted, confused. Mige shirked it off and turned to Milly.

”I’ll see you tomorrow.” he said, plainly. Linde, being ever the mediator patted her knee indicating that he best follow his friend, she nodded in agreement. He reached across and hugged her, whispering quietly to her as he did.

”He’s right, but... I’ll talk to him. Okay?” he stood and patted Ville on the shoulder, ”Just rest up.” nodding again, Linde left the room, leaving her and Ville in crushingly awkward silence.

”Did you and Mige argue?” he asked, observantly as he took a seat.

”It’s nothing.” she replied, her head bowed.

”Is everything okay?” she was grateful that Ville had never been the prying type.

”I’d rather not talk about it right now.” she knew she wasn’t going to tell him today. A mental battle raged and fevered inside her mind, ’if not now, when?’, ’better late than never’, ’carpe diem’, and all that motivational rot certainly was not helping. ”You called Jonna?” she asked, her gaze falling once again to his marked ring finger. He said nothing, merely raised his brow, ”How was she?” she couldn’t help the falseness of her question; why would she care how the woman who ruined her relationship was?

”I’d rather not talk about it right now.” he offered, feeling petrified to the core in light of the information he had just been given. He didn’t want to even think about it, he just wanted the here and the now. He just wanted his Milly.