Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

She had waited up late and gotten up an hour earlier than Bam had suggested, in hopes that she would find Ville about the house, but he was no where to be found. All she wanted to do was talk to him; of course she wanted him in her life, in Oscar’s life too, she wanted more than anything to be his best friend, but Seth took the opportunity for her to tell Ville away. She had fretted all day whether Seth had heard any of their conversation or if he’d seen Ville holding her hand; he hadn’t said anything or acted any differently toward her, so she could only hope that he hadn’t.

Already showered, dressed and packed, all she had left to do was wake Oscar and put a coat on him to leave. Knowing that the next ten days would be chaotic, if it had anything to do with Bam, she savored the absolute quite and stillness of her home at 4am by sitting on the bottom step of her sweeping staircase and closing her eyes. Her black, two sugared, coffee swirled warm vapor up into her face as she nurtured her prized mug under her chin with both hands. She was so relaxed in her own mind that she barely heard her own front door open. The sound of the person entering however, she noticed. ”Ville..” she smiled. He closed the door and looked at her for a moment before responding.

”Waiting up for me?” he asked with a shy laugh, whole-heartedly hoping that she was.

”Something like that.” what followed was that terribly awkward moment where two nervous people try to speak at the same time and then politely argue about who allows the other to speak first, Ville won.

”Please..” he insisted kindly. She sighed.

”About earlier..” she started.

”Forget it. I’m a weak, foolish, old man.. I’m not here to ruin your life again, I’m here to make a record and seeing you happy here was a glorious happening of fate. It’s awfully selfish of me to have put you in the position I did in the garden. Truth be told I’ve tried to stay away from here as late as possible to avoid seeing you today, so I could disappear back to the icy streets of Helsinki without another word.”

”Well, in that case, I’m glad we caught each other then.” she stated as if it were by chance that she was sitting showered and ready for a new day at four o’clock in the morning. She wondered if her could tell by her body language or hear in her voice that she didn’t want to forget it.

”Dude, ready to roll?” Bam’s voice sounded from the landing. She and Ville had gotten good at not noticing things until they made a noise, she mused. She craned her neck and smiled with a nod at Bam who was standing holding his towel around his waist with one hand, and a handful of his necklaces he had obviously taken off before showering, in the other. He looked to Ville, then back to Milly, and nodded, ”Cool. Get the gremlin up and we’ll head.”

She stood to her feet and soothingly rubbed her thumb back and forth over the handle of her mug. Ville chewed down on his lip, stuffing his hands in his pockets and nodded slowly, visibly as awkward as she felt about how to progress in the conversation, ”I’m going to make a cup of tea, I think. Do you mind?”

”No, of course not. Help yourself, I... have to get Oscar up.” she said, not knowing why she was pointing, Ville knew where Oscar’s room was. She snapped her arm down to her body, hoping he wasn’t aware of how conscious of herself he made her.

”Don’t leave without saying goodbye.” he said, turning his head to her, as he slinked out of her sight. She composed herself and made her way up four steps before stopping. She turned on her heel and headed straight back down, following Ville’s footsteps. Obviously hearing her footsteps on the terracotta tiles, Ville turned and smiled at Milly who walked purposefully towards him, stopping only when their bodies were touching and her arms wrapped around his body in a warming hug. At first, he was shocked, but his body relented into hers; the lavender musk of her hair enshrouding his senses.

”Älä katoa takaisin Helsinkiin ilman sanaa, vanha mies.” she said softly as she released him. The look on her face was solemn, but still, ever endearing. He didn’t want to let her go, his fingertips lingers on her person as long as he could let them. She smiled and left him to his tea in the kitchen, his stomach swirling and his head consumed with memories.
(Don’t disappear back to Helsinki without a word, old man)



Five Years Prior

”Oh Milly, you came and you brought me some coffee...” he sang as he moved up behind her, his arms sliding around her waist. She turned her head and kissed his jaw bone.

”You’re in an awfully cheerful mood this morning, prince of love metal. Aren’t you supposed to be a twisted and tortured soul who lives alone in his big scary tower with only his stuffed owls for company?” she jested.

”Ah, yes, you’ve caught me out. But like Mario to Princess Peach, you have saved me from my tower.” he chuckled. She turned from looking out over her balcony and placed her hands on his stomach.

”Really though, why are you so happy at 7am?” she smiled, Ville was never a morning person. He hadn’t even started his first coffee of the day yet.

”I had this perfect dream..”

”This dream was me and you?” she sang, her love for Queen shining through.

”Yes, Freddie Mercury.” he kissed her forehead, ”We had a baby.”

”We did?” she cooed. ”Was it a boy or a girl?”

”A little girl. Her name was Eleonora, but we called her Nora. She looked like you.” he stroked her hair, twirling the end between his fingers. ”We were in a field of flowers, surprisingly enough-” he smiled fondly, referring to Poe’s short story, ”she was laughing and giggling on a blanket, you were wearing a long white dress, the sun was shining and warm on our skin... I almost didn’t want to wake up.”

”Almost?”

”Well, I’d much rather be there the whole time – from conception to birth – than just jump in head first. I think you’d be the most beautiful pregnant woman anyone has ever seen. Like a Botticelli painting, with your hair flowing around you.”

”My natural hair maybe. I don’t think women in Botticelli paintings had a Munster-esque hair.” she laughed.

”Either way.”

”You would really want to be there whilst I got hugely fat, and irritable, and uncomfortable?”

”Darling, I want you however you come. Angry, sad, in a plastic cup with a spoon, however I can get you.” he hugged her close to his body, enjoying every second of this moment, it wasn’t often they spoke of the future, it was more assumed. But it made him radiate with happiness.

”Eleonora is the prettiest name.” she mused, tracing her fingers over his sternum, ”Eleonora Valo, it's perfect.” Ville’s lips threatened to crack they were spread so far across his cheeks. ”What a beautiful dream.”