Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

Ville insisted on carrying a very tired, and now very asleep, Oscar back to Milly’s room. When they got there, the key to the room Ville had reserved was waiting neatly on a coffee table. Milly spotted it as Ville took Oscar into her room to lay him down; she hesitated to tell him, tapping it on her hand as she frowned at the thought of their day being over. Ville re-entered the room, startling her, she turned around quickly and held out the key card for him. She wished she could have been more subtle.

”This was here. On the table.” she blurted. He took the card and studied it for a second.

”Oh, excellent..” he nodded, smiling, trying to hide that he had seen it as they entered and hoped that she didn’t before he got a chance to put it out of sight. She slid her hands into her coat pockets and inhaled slowly, clamping her lips together and smiling awkwardly.

”Thank you, for you know, playing along in the snow all day, I know you came here to relax and just be alone... No doubt cram yourself into a book and linger in a bath tub for hours.” the corner of his lips tweaked upwards, that’s exactly what he had wanted before he had known she was here.

”Matilda, today has been one of the happiest and most rewarding days of my awful existence since you left. I won’t have you thank me for one second, it was a pleasure.”

”Don’t say things like that,” she said desperately, referring to his ’awful existence’, ”you make me feel bad..”

”Why darling?” she looked at him for a long moment and knew tonight wasn’t right. She had become too emotionally invested in the day, in the time with Ville, in her own feelings. Oscar was meters away, it wasn’t right. Ville’s eyes fell to his notebook he picked off the table next to where the key had been placed. He leafed through the pages quickly, confirming that everything was as he had left it.

”No reason.” she sighed, opting to change the topic, ”So, what song are you writing... Right now. What is it about?” her tone lifting, her body language becoming more open. She cheekily reached for the book which Ville pulled away and snapped shut with a smirk.

”Never you mind.”

”A title, at least..?”

”Acoustic funeral, maybe.. Perhaps.”

”What’s it about?”

”You know what it’s about.. My withered little heart, as always.” she smiled and patted his heart.

”It’s not too withered, I hope.” he picked up her hand and gently kissed it, she felt her cheeks flush red, she pulled her hand away and laughed, ”Chorus?”

”No.” he shook his head and stuffed the note book into his pocket.

”Please..” her voice soft and raspy. He sighed heavily and looked to the ground, tugging the hair on the back of his head.

”The acoustic funeral for love in limbo, we’re dancing with tags on our toes, I save my last breath for your window, to write you this song...” he said quickly and dismissively, shaking his head as if he hated it. She smiled warmly as she studied his face, still the romantic in her was swept of her feet when she was the first to hear his lyrics.

”Lovely. Just lovely..”

”It’s nothing..” he said bashfully, as he always did, ”So, I better leave you to it and go find my room.” he said, shaking the key card. ”Thank you for letting me squat in your room.”

”I certainly hope you haven’t squatted anywhere.” she chuckled. Ville’s phone rang in his pocket, through his giggles he looked at the caller ID and sighed before ending the call.

”Mige has been hounding me all afternoon, I should probably call him back.” Milly nodded and followed Ville to the door, ”Thank you for sharing today with me.”

”We’ve no plans tomorrow, if you don’t.. It’s okay if you do..”

”I don’t.”

”Cool.” she replied nervously.

”Cool?”

”Yes.” she said adamantly. ”I’m a young hip mother, I say ’cool’...” his phone rang again, he screwed up his face and ended the call again. ”Go, go.. Answer the poor guy.” she gestured her hands for him to leave.

”Tomorrow then.”

”Yeah.”

”Good night Milly.” he said softly, leaning in and hugging her. The hug they shared was awkward, but neither of them wanted it to be, they both wanted to put more into it, to embrace as they used to.

”Good night Ville.” she placed her lips softly on the side of his mouth, leaving them a second longer than she knew she should have. She couldn't help it, she wanted it as it was, him and her, together, always. Being able to do this whenever she wanted, whenever she needed.

”Lavender shampoo.” he smiled, fondly, to himself.