Status: Live

Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

Chapter 32: Oxen Free

”Where is she?” Ville chuckled, ”How did he lock her out?” he asked, greatly amused by the news that Oscar had locked her out of their room. Bam shook his head.

”I lied, she’s crying, I think you should be there for her..” he stated quickly. Ville was taken back, they stood quietly for a moment and Milly’s sobs could be heard, Bam pointed at the door and mouthed, ’see’, to Ville.

”What am I supposed to do?” he asked nervously.

”Just be like you used to.” Bam proposed, patting his friends arm as he walked past. ”I’ll call you later.”

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Los Angeles

Jonna didn’t know where else to look, she didn’t understand why he made their lives so difficult, all he had to do was answer his phone, but no... Ville does as Ville pleases, she inwardly growled. The studio lights were on, but nobody was manning the desk; it wasn’t an overly large or complex layout, so eventually she found her way to Seth’s office, hoping he would be able to find Ville for her.

”You didn’t tell me about you and Ville.” he said angrily, causing her to stop walking and stand against the wall out of sight. ”Really?” he spat, Because it doesn’t take a DNA expert to work out where Osi’s genes come from Mal. Who’s fucking hiding family from who now?” Jonna’s heart thumped against her chest cavity. They had a child? Ville had a child, with her... She went to walk away, but walked back, then did it again, her head was swarming, she was so angry. ”Ville’s child.” he said quietly, another knife digging into her back. The phone call lasted another five minutes, but she was intent on speaking to Seth, to have him tell her to her face what she had heard him say. She pushed open the door and he sat with his head in his hands, staring at his feet. He looked up at her and grimaced. ”For fucks sake..” he sighed.

”Ville has a child? That boy.. the pictures of the boy in your house-”

”Milly’s house.”

”Don’t say her name.” she scoffed. ”That boy is Ville’s? I heard you say it.. Tell me.” he chewed down on his lip and nodded, figuring she had the right to know as much as he did. ”And he knows?”

”No.. Nobody knows about Oscar. She made that damn sure apparently.”

”Where is she?”

”What?”

”Where is she? And the boy.. Where?” she demanded bitterly. Seth laughed. ”What?”

”They’re in New York.”

”Right.” he smirked.

”...with Ville...”

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She heard the door unlock and knew that someone would have heard her crying, though it didn’t make her move from her position of hugging her legs tight to her body, her face buried and hidden. ”Please, just go away.. I just want to be on my own.” she begged, not caring to see who it was. The door closed but she could still hear them in the room, ”Please, please go away....” she repeated. It was only when they had knelt before her, their familiar hands had gently grasped her arms and their scent had been breathed in that she looked up. ”I don’t want you to see me crying. Of all people.” she spoke hoarsely.

”Sweetheart...” he said simply, stroking her arm comfortingly, ”what’s happened?”

”Seth.” his stomach fell, he knew there was something about him, something sneaky, something off putting. ”He has a partner, I’m the bit on the side. Gwen caught him out.” Ville initially found this incredibly hard to process, but he knew anger wasn’t what she needed. ”It’s happened all over again... Do I drive people away Ville?”

”No.. darling.. Not at all..”

”Then what?! Because I drove you straight into Jonna.” she exclaimed sorely, she whimpered and let her forehead fall to her knees. Ville pressed his lips to the top of her head and left them there for a moment as he let the scent of her hair surround him before he rolled his head so his cheek lay on her hair instead.

“Pretty like a flower on a tomb, you are; kissed blue by the last arrows of the sun; Olly Olly oxen free; Hide and go weep no more; unless you want to…” he spoke softly. She calmed and sniffled.

“Did you write that?” she asked, her voice scratching and shaking. He nodded his head as he pulled back from her to look at her properly.

“That night, when you left… Hearing your voice behind that door will never leave me, the disgust in myself I felt, the crushing realisation that I had betrayed your heart – that will stay with me forever in the form of what you said – do you remember?” she shook her head.

“No..” she replied. She remembered very little from that night, because she had sought to keep it that way.

“Olly Olly oxen free.” He repeated to her solemnly.

“You wrote a song about it?” he shook his head. “About me?” he nodded. “Why?”

“Darling, all my songs are about you. Every single one.” He picked up her hand and kissed it, “You didn’t drive me away, I was a fucking fool. I promise you, you didn’t drive Seth away either, he’s a fucking slimy bastard. You don’t need him. You don’t need anyone who doesn’t completely surrender their heart to you, do you hear me?”

“He has a kid.” She said, apprehensively. Ville’s face fell angrily.

“What?”

“A bit younger than Oscar.” She stated, her breathing becoming agitated, “He stole our name.” she squeaked as she burst into tears again. Ville immediately pulled her close to his body, stroking her back calmly.

“What do you mean he stole our name?”

“He called her Nora.”

“Eleonora… Bastard.” He muttered to himself. Milly cried harder, unbeknownst to Ville, she was crying because of him. Crying all over again because of what he did. Crying because if he hadn’t, life would be maybe have been perfect once Oscar had come along.

“What am I supposed to do, Ville? I built my whole life in LA, for him.. I didn’t travel, because of him.. My family, I just-“ she rambled.

“Shh.. Come on, it’ll be fine. You were fine before and you’ll be fine again.” He realised after he said it that they probably weren’t the wisest choice of words to say to a woman who had just been cheated on for the second time.

“I was never fine before.”

“I’m sorry, I’m an idiot.. Just ignore me.” She sniffed and looked up at him.

“You’re not an idiot.” She stated quietly. Ville looked down at her tear streaked face, her eyes glimmering more so than usual, so vulnerable, so trusting. “You’re not an idiot.” She repeated.

“I’m still sorry…”

“Me too.”

“What? Why on earth are you sorry?”

“Leaving that night, without talking.” He shook his head.

“You had every right to leave.”

“I didn’t want to.” She stated, a sob escaping her lips. “I loved you… I didn’t want to leave.”

“You were right to.” A shameful silence fell over the room, “You know what I’m most sorry for? What I’ll spend my life repenting for... The fact that I didn’t even consider the extent of our love for each other; the fact that I threw it all away for my weakest moment… If I’d had let it even dash through my mind for a second, it would have been enough, but I didn’t... And more fool me...” He gulped, trying to contain the bubble of tears and shame in his neck, “I don’t want you to ever forgive me, Milly.”

“I forgive you.”

“No.”

“I forgive you.”

“Milly, stop it.”

“No.” she said defiantly, “I forgive you for doing it. I forgive you for breaking my heart because you gave me O-“, his lips sank into hers with such ease that all the stress and tension from crying in her body melted away.
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