Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

She unguarded herself, her legs moved from her chest and moved either side of Ville, still bent at the knee. His hands longingly clasped her face; he savoured her kisses as if they were his last breaths of salty air. As she gave in more to him, he moved his hands to her back, then lower, before lifting her onto the bed and kneeling infront of her, their lips not parting. What followed wasn’t a romantic movie scene, or a lengthy beautiful session of love making; it was sex. Passionate, mournful, angry, emotion fuelled sex. They couldn’t help themselves; it was familiar, but not familiar; they were on the bed; but they weren’t on the bed; their clothes were off, but they weren’t off.

His fingertips traced her exposed collar bone as she lay with her head on his arm – their chests raising and falling, neither of them wanting to speak, both unable to think what to do next. She could feel his nose nuzzling against her hair and felt at home; she knew this was the moment she would tell him everything. She sat up, pulling her oversized dress shirt over her chest and fumbling with the buttons as best she could with jittery hands. She pulled her hair back and tied it high and loosely on her head. Ville shuffled and readjusted his jeans, before placing a hand gingerly on her back. “Everything okay?” he asked, unsure. She turned and looked into his dusky green eyes, the corners of his lips tweaked nervously as he looked back into hers.

“You cut me off before.” She replied simply.

“I did, I’m sorry.“ He apologised, vaguely remembering, his head was then and still was swarming with thoughts of kissing her, holding her...

“Ville, I have something I need to tell you…” She swallowed, before sliding off the bed and pulling on a pair of jeans, “Wait here? Can you?” he smiled, coyly.

“I’m not going anywhere sweetheart.”

“Okay..”

“Milly-“

“Yeah?”

“Why are you leaving if it’s something you have to tell me?” he questioned, not wanting her to leave.

“You'll see.” She replied softly, before opening the heavy door and leaving.



“I smell trouble.” Jyrki growled, sitting to attention like a meerkat, his eyes fixated.

“What?” Jussi enquired, also sitting to attention, “Oh..”



“Hey..” she responded, her breath a little strained, “I need Oscar.” Bam studied her for a second and knew what she was about to finally do; he pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head.

“We’re all right here babe.” He promised, she nodded her head and patted his back, “Come in?”

“Um, no.. I.. no.” she declined, not wanting anything to interfere with her current state of mind. Bam nodded duly and fetched Oscar.

“I’m a penguin!” he yelled excitedly. Milly couldn’t help but giggle as she swooped her son off the ground into a hug.

“Missy... she couldn’t help herself.” Bam shrugged. “You gunna be okay?” she nodded.

“I’ll have to be.”

“Want me to come with?” she shook her head.

“This day can’t get much worse than rock bottom.” She offered jovially. “I’ll call you later.” Bam nodded, still studying her face, he didn’t want to say anything to her, but he couldn’t help but notice the redness of and around her lips or the fact that she smelled faintly of Ville’s cologne. He wondered exactly how he made her feel up to this huge act of bravery.

As Milly descended in the elevator, her heart began to beat harder and harder with every floor she passed closer to where Ville was. Oscar busied himself with trying to tie strand of her hair around his finger as she stood staring blankly into space. “Where are we going?” he asked, dragging out his vowels.

“We’re going to tell Ville something very special.” She replied, kissing his cheek.

“What is it?”

“Something about you, pikkuinen.”

“Am I a surprise?” he wondered.

“Yes sweetheart.”



Ville paced the balcony of his room; cigarette in hand and the smell of Milly’s perfume lingering on his skin. He knew it was a risk moving in on her like that, but he hadn’t expected her to up and leave in such a fashion. He was scared that she would come back telling him that she was pregnant from Seth; or dying; or something equally as damning. He was terrified more so that how far they’d come in time they had been reunited would be destroyed by what they had just done. His thoughts were so scattered he couldn’t even smoke correctly – after the third time of dropping the cigarette, he simply left it on the ground to burn out and went back inside. He picked Blinky off the sofa and flicked the soft trunk with his fingers, smiling fondly over the memory that he would forever associate with the stuffed toy. He was disturbed by rapid knocking on the door and only then spotted a key card on the coffee table.

“Forgot your key card..” he chuckled as he opened the door. The feeling the fell over him was second to being stabbed with a rusty pike, straight in the stomach. But only just.

“Playing happy fucking families are we?” Jonna snapped, pushing her way into the room. Ville grabbed her arms and tried to push her out but she shoved him away as she slammed the door.

“What are you doing here?”

“Looking for my fiancée!” she yelled. Her coat fell open and Ville caught sight of the baby bump that had begun to form on her incredibly small frame, and turned away. “Yeah..” she jeered, “forget about this did we?” She stormed over to the door openings to the bedrooms, “Where is she then?” she asked, looking into the room Ville had used, before stomping over the Milly’s.

“I think you should calm down. We can talk about this somewhere else.” She laughed, dismissively.

“Don’t want to talk to your pregnant fiancée where you’ve been shagging Milly?”

“I haven’t-“

“Like hell you haven’t.”

“Jonna, I refuse to talk to you whilst you’re like this, go and calm down, then call me.” He reasoned, just wanting her to leave.

“Call you?” she scoffed, “Call you?! You never answer your fucking phone!” he pulled at the hairs on the back of his head and ground his teeth. He was really wishing he had smoked that cigarette. He marched over to the door purposefully and opened it, motioning for her to get out.

“Leave. Now.” He ordered.

“I'm not leaving. Not until she gets here.” She replied defiantly.

"What?" he grimaced, "You stay away from Milly, do you here me Jonna? I really fucking mean it."

"I need to have a little chat with her. And I think you should be here for it."

“About chat about what?! How mentally chaotic you are?” he shouted, this close to losing his temper and dragging her out of the room. “Leave!!” he roared. He was so bubbling with anger that he didn't notice Milly appearing behind him asking what was going on.



The elevator doors opened and as she rounded the corner she could hear loud shouting in Finnish, first in a woman's voice then Ville's, her heart pounded as she approached her door, not recognising the voice of the woman, “What the hell is going on in here? I can hear you yelling from the elevator." she asked before stopping dead, having made eye contact with Jonna.

"About how Oscar is your son!" Jonna screamed.