Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

Her arm coiled around his skinny waist like a python and she kissed his neck, making him visibly uncomfortable in front of his friends. "Hello Bam, Chad.." she smiled. She looked at Milly and fanned herself with her hand, "It's very hot in here.." she frowned, it wasn't, the temperature was perfect for wearing a jacket - just how Bam liked it. She untied her coat and slid it off, revealing the small baby bump Milly had correctly identified the other night. "Ohh, that's better." Ville wanted the ground to open up and swallow him, he was mortified, trying to move his eyes to look at Milly's felt like trying to lift concrete balls with his eyelids. She was looking at Jonna's stomach before she looked up at him and nodded. She moistened her lips, turned to Bam and Chad with a smile, downed her scotch in one, picked up her cocktail and turned back to Ville and Jonna.

"Babies popping out all over the place, huh?" she smiled sweetly, knowing her comment would lash at Jonna's over-inflated pride with the fact that she had mothered Ville's first child. She heard Chad snigger behind her quietly, "Congratulations." Without another word she picked up her purse and walked away from the table, heading behind the bar to get to the loading bay for some air. She didn't expect to be startled when she got there, but then, she didn't expect a lot of things. "Oh!" she exclaimed, covering her eyes. "Jussi!"

"Milly! Ah.. Fuck." she laughed, embarrassed as she kept her eyes covered and tried to find the door handle. She heard Jussi's hushed talking and then felt someone walk past her. "It's safe now." he stated, dryly, a moment later. She uncovered her eyes and looked shocked. "Don't look at me like that…" he laughed dismissively.

"I knew you were a kinky, but fellatio in a dirty back alley in Pensylvania? What would sweet mother Vuori think?" she smiled, she didn't judge Jussi at all. It was who he was, just, in the moment.

"Well if it's such a dirty back alley why are you out here?" he questioned, taking the drink from her hand and taking a mouthful before grimmacing at the sweet taste. "Ergh."

"Waiting for the quart of scotch I just drank to come into effect."

"Because Jonna is pregnant?" he stated.

"What? How..?" he cocked his brow and took out two cigarettes, obviously seeing that this situation called for a stress relief mechanism.

"Bitch has been sticking that bulge in anybody who has eyes faces all fucking day. Ville looks like he's about to top himself." he added bitterly, "I would." she hit his arm and frowned.

"Don't say that."

"You don't seem as upset as I imagined you would be?" he questioned, handing her a smoke. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I wish everyone would stop questioning that. He's engaged, of course the next step is babies, weddings.. All that stuff."

"And you'll go?" she looked confused, "To their wedding… You'll go?" she paused, she hadn't really thought about it before. "You wouldn't go." he concluded.

"I would."

"And do what? Smile and dance and toast to their longevity. Give me a break babe." she exhaled heavily.

"I wouldn't go." she admitted. "It would kill me." she laughed nervously. "Is there something wrong with me, Jus?"

"Where do I begin.." he smirked.

"I'm being serious. I spend years hating him and trying to bury the fact that I miss him under that hate and then he turns up and he's all I can think about every day.. My partner of two and a half years has been leading this secret life with a child and a partner and I only cry for a few hours when I find out. Ville ruined my life with what he did, but I seem to have all but forgiven him like that.."

"Love does strange things to a person."

"But it's not the same love. I don't love him like an infactuated young girl like I did.."

"Because you're not a young girl anymore." he reasoned, "Old crone, yes."

"Hey!" she laughed heartily.

"But really, you're a grown up.. You have a child, a house, a business; your mind works differently now. If it didn't, well, then there would be something wrong with you. Just stop freaking out. This has all been piled on you super fucking quick, hey? Your mind is ping ponging all over the fucking shop. Chillax." He was right though, totally, totally right... as much as she hated to admit that the man child before her spoke truths. Tonight was her relaxing night and here she was getting worked up over a baby bump she sussed existed days ago.

"Chillax?" she questioned with a small smile.

"I'm down with the kids lingo now." he nodded.

"Well you'd have to be, entertaining youngness in alleys."

"19 is legal."

"But is it moral?" she laughed. He looked behind him over each shoulder and turned back to her with a confused expression plastered across his face.

"You know you're talking to me, yes? What a silly waste of a question." he smirked.

"You old slut." she laughed fondly, squeezing his knee.

"Oh fucking chillax." he laughed dismissively, "Come on you old bitch, let's see if they have any early bird drink specials."



The band had already started playing and the whole venue was filled with friends of Bam and familiar faces she had worked with in L.A and New York, the alcohol had finally started to work it's magic and she felt like a teenager again, hanging out with good friends, listening to good music and drinking good booze. The effects of her efforts had truly taken effect; she laughed so hard her stomach hurt at Chad's crude humour as the stood at a table with the remains of the bottle of scotch and a soggy packet of cigarettes. "No, don't.." she sniggered, knocking the damp tabacco stick from his hands, "It's not sexy putting something that flacid near your mouth." His face dropped into seriousness and she clamped her lips together, they looked at each other for a second before errupting into even heartier laughter.

"Ohh, can we be friends always." he proposed, lumping his arm around her neck. She nodded.

"Mmm.." she mumbled, removing a pack of dry smokes from her bag, "Uhuh."

"Mmm, uhuh?" he laughed, mocking offense. "I propose life long friendship to you and all I get is, mmm, uhuh? I'm shocked and appauled." he dramatised. Her face fell into over-played worry and she took a step back from him.

"I'm so sorry mister, of course we'll be friends forever mister, begging your pardon mister." she giggled, attempting a curtsey but stumbling on her large heeled boot. Chad caught her arm, catching her before she hit the ground, but her drink had already flown from her hand and into an unsuspecting Jonna.

"Oh fuck me gently." Chad cursed into his chest. Milly turned to see Jonna's face of thunder and her giggles soon subsided. The scotch, and the last of that bottle for that matter, had flown its way across Jonna's legs and shoes.

"Jonna, sorry.. I tripped a bit.."

"You're pathetic." she smiled, looking Milly and Chad up and down disapprovingly.

"Excuse me?"

"Whoa, hold on there woman!" Chad snapped. Milly's arm instinctively reached aside and touched Chad's chest indicating that he should shut up.

"I'm pathetic?" Milly asked, shaking her head, not understanding. "Why?"

"I know about you, Matilda." she said, looking self satisfied, "I know of your past relationships, I know how they've all ended. What is it you do to these men do drive them into the arms of another, huh? I know yet another man left you behind for yet another woman. And I know you saught solace in Ville's bed to reaffirm your self as a woman. " she laughed dismissively. "I know you think your son will lure Ville back to you but I promise you that it won't, not now." she added smugly, placing a hand on her stomach. Milly's head dropped. Chad wanted to hit Jonna, at this point he didn't care that she was a woman, or a pregnant one at that - not that he ever would, he just couldn't stand to see someone like Jonna shit all over a person as genuinely lovely and compassionate as Milly, he couldn't stand by a second longer and watch Milly in tears as Jonna stood there with this inflated sense of lordship. But then Milly chuckled and he got excited.