Status: Live

Holding Hands Won't Be Enough

Chapter 55: Roof

“Mum, I told you not to give him lemonade.” Milly groaned.

“It’s my right as a Nanna to sneak my grandson treats.” she spoke defensively, running her hand over Oscars head.

“Yes, but not at breakfast.” she sighed, throwing the liquid into the sink with a sigh. She set the cup in the basin and leant against the counter, her head bowed. It had been three days since she had arrived in Helsinki and two days since she had had to flee the tower to get away from the paparazzi who had decided to camp out there. Her head swarmed, her father came home with another pile of tabloids last night, speculating more facts and detailed information from her life that no other person needed to be told. She hadn’t spoken to Ville, she had told Jussi to let him know that she just needed a little time to settle her mind and her son before she even thought about seeing Kari or Anita, let alone dealing with any backlash from Jonna.

“Darling, I know you’re stressed..” she said, placing a reassuring hand on her daughters back, “but please don’t take it out on us.” Milly reached up and patted her mum’s hand.

“I’m sorry.” she said sincerely, “Really.”

“I know sweetheart, now, eat something please, I don’t want you getting frightfully thin again.” she said, patting her daughters backside lovingly. Milly knew she stood no chance arguing, so sat down at the table and poured herself a mug of coffee, “Coffee isn’t food dear.” Heli chuckled, taking the mug from her hand and replacing it with orange juice and setting a bowl of granola in front of her. “Now, what are your plans for the day? If it’s okay with you I’d like to parade my grandson around the social club, you know, show off how fabulous I look for a grandmother.”

“I need to see Ville, sort out this Kari and Anita thing...” she nodded, “It’ll probably be best if I go alone, I don’t want Oscar scared by those bastards and their cameras.”

“Excellent!” she beamed, “Oh, we’ll have such a fun little day won’t we pikkuinen?”

“Yes!” he nodded, slapping his hand into his porridge.

————

“Milly?” Ville’s voice crackled through the intercom to the service basement. She still knew her way around this building like the back of her hand, she didn’t want to deal with the two photographers she had spotted from the cab so got the driver to take her to the street that ran adjacent to Ville’s.

“Vi- hang on, how did you know it was me?”

“You’re the only one who knows how to get down there without a key.” he replied. The door buzzed aggressively and clicked open; it didn’t take her long to climb the stairs and before she knew it she was standing in front of the door she thought she’d never see again. Realising she had been holding her breath for a few moments now, she exhaled heavily as the door swung open, revealing Ville standing shirtless holding a towel to his dripping hair. “You haven’t been answering your phone.”

“I left it at the tower in my panic to leave.”

“Oh.. I was worried. Not to matter.. come inside.” he gestured. She hesitated.

“I, uh.. rather not.” she said, shaking her head anxiously. She didn’t want to go into the apartment that housed so many of her happiest memories knowing that it now housed the person who ruined them all.

“She’s not here.”

“All the same.” she subconsciously took a step back from the door, then smiled, “So, any new war wounds?” she asked, gesturing at the gauges on his neck he had shown her a few days prior.

“Only internal ones.” he swallowed and turned to toss his towel onto a nearby armchair. “This is awful, please come inside.”

“I can’t. I can’t.” she shrugged, “It’s too much, sorry.”

“Right.” he nodded, turning and looking towards what she knew to be the kitchen, “Wait here then.” the door was too heavy to stay open on it’s own unless held open, so naturally closed shut when he hastily walked away from it leaving her to her own devices in the corridor. After three minutes of waiting she decided to take a seat on the ground opposite the door; it was blue now, she didn’t like it, it felt cold and clinical, not homely. As she stared at it she found herself frowning harder and harder as she theorised the other changes Jonna could have made behind those doors, she tried to push it down but it kept bubbling back up - the hate, the hurt, the jealousy. “Frown any harder and you’ll have to get botox.” he chuckled as he opened the door to her expression.

“Maybe Jo-” she stopped herself and stood up, “You know what, it doesn’t matter. What is all this?” she asked, taking the mugs out of his hands leaving him with a flask, cigarettes, a hat, a coat and his phone in his hands.

“Roof.” he said simply, “I haven’t left this apartment for days and don’t intend to start now. If you won’t come in, I won’t go out, then we’ll go up.”

————

“Have you seen what they’re putting in the papers?” he nodded, steam from his mug of coffee billowing around his face. “And what did Jonna think about it all?”

“I thought I’d dodged that bullet by telling her before she would have seen them, but instinctively holding your hand had me dodging plates instead.”

“But aside from that?” he snorted.

“Can we not talk about her when we’re together, if that’s okay?”

“Sure.”

“Your parents, are they well?”

“Yeah and much better after learning their grandson isn’t the bastard son of a Frenchman and their daughter isn’t a harlot.” she chuckled. “No, they’re in fine health. Oh and Sonja is getting married in three weeks.”

“To uhh.. the banker-“

“Robbie, yes. His family are coming over from England for it. A pre-Christmas winter wonderland.. ha.” she chortled.

“How is Sonja, still hate my very being?” he wondered. He and Sonja had never seen eye to eye, having been in the same year group at school, Sonja didn’t take fondly to him fawning over her younger sister. As they got older, she was more tolerable, but he always sensed that residual overbearing big sister protective shield whenever she was around and highly expected it to be in manic overload if he were to see her again.

“The poor thing is in a state because her wedding planner pulled out, but she’s fine, as sisterly as ever, and yes, after the revelation of Oscar’s parentage that she came across online, she does hate your very being.”

“Ah good, nothing has changed then.” he smiled, “Why don’t you plan her wedding?” she shook her head defiantly.

“It’s mostly planned, it’s the detail work, the design work..” she said rolling her eyes, “I don’t doubt she had the planner quit in order to save herself some money knowing I was here, cheeky cow.” she laughed fondly, she loved her sister to pieces but as always with siblings, nothing came easy, “I’ve barely seen her to offer. Supposedly she’s coming by tonight, so I’ll offer my services as a gift then I suppose. But I’ll be going home after it.”

“But you are home.”

“Finland stopped being my home when my heart broke here. All it is to me now, is memories covered in blue paint.” he nodded sadly, knowing at some point she’d mention the door.

“Another three weeks with my boy then, before you head back?” he asked hopefully.

“Looks like it.”

“Maybe, we could see my parents tomorrow? Jesse said they’ve been away to the lakes; they’ll not have seen any news.. They get back in the morning, I was hoping to beat them to the house.”

“I’m terrified.”

“Don’t be.” he scoffed.

“What exactly is there to dismissively laugh at Ville?” she asked, annoyed by his tone.

“My parents despised me for the longest time, I still catch Mother looking at me in complete disgust. I can’t imagine that’ll disappear once she knows my actions deprived her of her only grandchild for three years.” he explained, “She won’t allow Jonna in the house.”

“Good old Anita.” Milly smiled.

“She loved you like a daughter Milly, you will be fine. Me on the other hand..”

“I gather Jonna knows about this happening?” he nodded. “How did that all go then, with her?” she asked anxiously, not wanting to press the subject after he had requested they didn’t discuss her.

“I think what you did, for her sake, is resonating in some small way. She didn’t try and gauge my eyes out when I mentioned your name this morning as I told her about Oscar meeting his grandparents.”

“Well that’s good..” she smiled reassuringly, “I’m really glad she’s being adult about it.”

“Yeah.” he seemed distant and uncomfortable, so she changed the subject.

“So, have you heard from the guys?”

“I have not heard from them.”

“Not from any of them?”

“No. Nothing. And they’re all internet nuts, so I’ve no doubt they’ve seen the news..” he said bitterly, “I don’t get it.” Milly’s head dropped and Ville noticed it instantly. “What?”

“Nothing.” she said, her eyes widening, shaking her head.

“You’ve seen them?”

“No, I haven’t..” she insisted truthfully.

“Then what was with that evasive reaction?” she sighed, relenting.

“Mige and Linde.. they knew about Oscar the moment they saw him.” his mouth fell open and his breathing shallowed, “Ville, I told them not to tell you, I made them promise. Mige was so angry at me, that day in the hospital, he was yelling at me because of it. I haven’t spoken to them since before I left for Westchester, I imagine they’ve seen the news and are waiting to hear from you..”

“They knew? You discussed my son with them before me?” he asked, hurt.

“No, not like that. I made them promise to let me do it.. They were doing the right thing by both of us. You mustn’t be angry at them Ville.” he shook his head.

“I’m not.” he shook his head and lit a cigarette, inhaling hastily, “Who else?”

“Ville..” she pleaded.

“Who else Milly…”

“Bam, Gwen.. they saw it instantly as well. Bam overheard Gwen deducing it..”

“Anyone else?”

“Jussi, he picked it in the hotel.”

“Am I fucking blind?” he shouted out in disbelief at the amount of his friends who knew before him.

“No, you just saw me, I guess, after all that time you had other things on your mind then my child.”

“Our child.”

“Yes,” she smiled, “our child.”

“I should call them.” he stated, running his hand through his hair. She nodded.

“I think so.”

“Even Vuori knew?” he chuckled, unbelievingly.

“You know, for all his faults, he does have a keen brain under all that hair and product.” she explained. Ville always harboured a tiny spot of jealously on account of their friendship, even though he knew that nothing had happened, the fact that they maintained a flirty and lascivious dialogue always reminded him that it could have been Jussi and not him.

“I’m a damned fool.”

“Well, yes.. but, we don’t hold it against you.”

“You should.” he remarked seriously. They didn’t stay on the roof much longer than the flask of coffee had lasted, it was cold and windy up there and having not come adequately prepared for prolonged amounts of time subject to the elements, Milly was freezing.

“Are you positive you don’t want to come in?” he asked, standing in front of his door. She nodded, it was the last place she wanted to be.

“I have to get back and make sure mum and her friends at the social club haven’t filled Oscar to the brim with lemonade.” she insisted. “What time would you like me to pick you up tomorrow, I’ll have Sonja’s car.”

“Early? I’ll wait on the curb for say, seven? We should be them there, they al-“

“-ways get back at nine. I know.” she laughed softly. “Thank you for the coffee.” she smiled, not knowing how to end their meeting. She had never had to say goodbye formally with him before, it was strange new ground.

“Anytime.”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah.” he nodded, looking equally as agitated as to how to part ways.

“Do we hug? I don’t know how to do this…” she admitted with a nervous chuckle.

“That would be nice, yeah.” he agreed. They embraced, but it felt rigid, like they were both made of china and didn’t want to break one another. As they pulled apart, footsteps rounded the corridor.

“Ville?”

“Jonna, hey.”

“What’s happening?” she asked, striding up next to Ville, planting a kiss on his cheek, her hand lingering on his chest. Milly pulled her woollen hat down closer on her head, the hug with Ville having shifted it.

“I just came by to arrange seeing Kari and Anita.” she explained bluntly, “I don’t have a phone.”

“Oh, when will this happen? I hope not on Saturday.” she cooed.

“Saturday?” Milly asked, feigning polite conversation. Ville looked pained, his eyes averted hers as Jonna reached across and touched her arm, “Oh, we’re having an engagement party, I think it would be nice for Oscar to be there for Ville and I understand that he comes as a package deal, so.. are you free?”

“Um, oh,” she replied, frazzled by this information, “okay. Where?”

“City hall, 8pm, a friend pulled some strings. Ville, you didn’t tell her?”

“I was going to discuss it tomorrow.” he replied, annoyed. Milly pretended to look at her watch that didn’t exist.

“Oh wow, I really must be leaving, I said I wouldn’t be longer than a few minutes.” she lied, “Got to dash. I’ll see you in the morning.” she called behind her as she walked off towards the elevator with haste.